Chapter 3
CHAPTER
THREE
Shelly
I’m sitting out on the front porch drinking a fresh lemonade.
We’re settling in with both the shop as well as the cabin itself, and even though my heart still aches for what I’ve lost, I’m beginning to feel a sense of contentment.
My banana pudding is chilling in the fridge while I wait for Uncle Mack to get back from town.
As I gaze out at the yard, I see two red cardinals on the fence and smile. “Hey, you two. Hope you’re behaving up there. I sure do wish y’all were here, though.”
Marcella was a huge believer in signs and she’s the one who told me that when I saw a cardinal, it meant that someone who I loved that was gone was visiting me.
Over the years, I saw cardinals frequently and it always soothed something deep inside.
Since our move, however, I hadn’t seen any and while it made me sad, I didn’t stress too much since I was so busy getting settled in and starting over in a new shop.
Abyss isn’t a hard ass as far as bosses go.
Despite being in a motorcycle club, he’s relatively laidback.
I can make my own schedule for the most part, as long as the front desk is covered whenever he or Uncle Mack are working.
I’ve let all my former customers know where I moved, and with my portfolio on display, I’ve had quite a few walk-in clients.
Hopefully, I’ll build a steady clientele, although the fact that it’s a Kings owned shop brings in a lot of traffic as it is.
I feel heat pool low in my belly when I think about my boss.
He’s tall, much taller than I am, and has muscles for days.
Add in the tattoos and the fact that he’s got an aura that surrounds him that screams multiple things, and I have to work hard to hide my growing attraction to him.
I don’t know why I feel that way except maybe it’s survivor’s guilt, who knows?
Why should I get a second chance at a long-lasting, loving relationship when James and Amberlea didn’t?
“You need to get your act together, Shell,” I mutter to myself. “Call your therapist and see if she found anyone local you can get connected with, because you’re starting your stinking thinking again and that never served anyone anything good.”
My phone chimes and I look at it to see a text from Uncle Mack letting me know he’s heading home.
Guess it’s time to get ready to head to the Kings’ compound and meet everyone.
I feel my heart twinge when I remember that Livy will be there with her little boy, but I’m hopeful that since he’s not a female, I’ll be okay.
I’m not jealous per se; something tragic happened and I lost my baby, so maybe it’s more envious.
Again, something I need to talk about with a therapist since this is the first time I’ve been around a little one that I’ll be exposed to somewhat regularly.
Since we were so young, most of our friends didn’t have any kids when I was pregnant, and it was easier to avoid putting myself in the position of being around babies.
“Ugh, I should’ve moved to Alaska,” I grouse as I grab my empty glass and head inside to get ready.
I’ve already showered, but with us being somewhat remote, I’ve been sitting outside in my robe.
Somehow, I don’t think that’ll be appropriate attire for a cookout, however, so I need to put clothes on.
“Hi, I’m Issy, Rio’s ol’ lady,” the pretty woman standing in front of me says. “Let me take that and give it to Constance so she can keep it on ice until all the food is ready.”
“I’m Shelly. Thanks, I know I didn’t have to bring anything, but Marcella taught me to make sure I always brought something,” I reply. At her look, I explain, “She was Uncle Mack’s woman, and she helped raise me until she passed away. That’s why we moved down here.”
Well, that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
Now, we have a curio cabinet in the cabin, and each shelf has an urn on it with pictures and other assorted memorabilia for James, Amberlea, and Marcella.
I’m grateful that James’ family gave me some of his ashes; they didn’t have to do that, but his mom told me that she couldn’t separate ‘her boy’ from ‘his girl’, which made me cry so hard I made myself sick.
I’ve considered combining their ashes into one urn and maybe if I can find someone who can create what I want, I’ll do it, but for now, they’re each on their own shelf.
“Let me show you around. This is the Triple R ranch, and we not only breed horses and bulls for the rodeo circuit, but we also train them for various events.”
“I think Abyss mentioned at work one day that you still compete?” I question as I follow her once she hands my banana pudding off to an older woman who smiles at me but doesn’t say anything.
“I do! I still barrel race, but my girl, my Starlight, has retired from that aspect and now I show her in the dressage event,” she says.
I nod like I understand but honestly, I haven’t a damn clue what she’s talking about since I’ve never been one for outdoor activities.
Still, I’ve always loved horses even though I’ve never ridden one so I’m excited when she veers toward a path that leads to several huge barns.
When we reach the first one, she grins at me and says, “Let me introduce you to my girls, Starlight and Stargazer.”
The cloying scent of hay tickles my nose as we walk along the stalls until she stops at one of them. A beautiful horse neighs as she sticks her head over the gate. “Oh, she’s beautiful,” I softly say.
“This is Starlight. She won me quite a few buckles when we ran the barrels, and now she’s winning them during dressage,” Issy says as she pulls a carrot from her front pocket and hands it to her horse. “She’s gotten me out of a jam or two as well,” she softly states, “haven’t you girl?”
Starlight neighs as if she’s answering, but her focus is on her treat, not on Issy’s words, making me giggle. “I think she’s agreeing with you.”
“Oh, she is because she knows all there is to know at this point,” Issy teases. “Come and meet Stargazer. She runs the barrels with me nowadays.”
Once again, I see a beautiful horse who’s focused on the treat coming toward her. “They’re both beautiful.”
“Like I tell Rafe, he has his preferred horsepower, and I have mine,” Issy replies, giggling. “His has chrome, mine has hooves and withers.”
I can only imagine the conversations the two of them have and suspect this is one of those that never ends. “Does he ride too? I mean, besides his motorcycle, of course.”
The grin she gives me is wicked as she nods.
“Hell, yeah, he does. Love riding behind him on his bike, but when he has those Wranglers on with a pair of chaps and we ride the ranch? That’s a sight to see for sure.
” Since I’ve seen him once when he came into the shop to talk to Abyss, I decide I’ll have to take her word for it, not that I’d ever look at a man who’s taken by another woman in that manner.
“How about you? Are you single? Attached? In limbo?”
“I guess ‘in limbo’ best describes me,” I admit. I honestly don’t know if Uncle Mack shared any of my history with Abyss or not, and I’ve been too much of a chickenshit to ask him. Since my past is definitely too heavy for a barbecue, I leave it at that.
“Well, we’ve got quite a few of the brothers who are single, if you have a hankering for a biker who has the ability to ride horses,” she teases.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I reply.
“Let me finish showing you around then I’ll introduce you to some of the others,” she says.
“I’d like that,” I tell her as I follow her out of the first barn and into the next.
“Hmm, I think you might have a slight sensitivity to hay,” Abyss says as he stares down at my swollen eyes.
“You think?” I ask. I know my tone is a bit snarky but how in the hell was I to know that I would be allergic?
It wasn’t until Issy and I returned to everyone else that my eyes started itching.
Now, they’re nearly swollen shut despite the antihistamine that someone named Doc gave me, and my nose is red and raw from all the sneezing I’ve done.
Quite bluntly, I’m miserable and if one more person asks me if I’m okay, I might just scream.
Okay, I won’t really scream because that would be rude and go against everything that Marcella taught me.
But I want to, that’s for dang sure. Instead, I’ve been sitting near Livy, whose little boy is absolutely adorable, and talking to her, as well as a woman named Marge.
She apparently works for the club at their laundromat, and while she’s a bit rough around the edges, I like her.
There are a bunch of women here from a place called Hope House, which explains all the kid-oriented activities that I saw, since there are a bunch of children running around.
Even though my heart hurts at what might’ve been, I can’t help but smile at their enthusiasm and excitement, especially when an ice cream truck pulls up ‘just for them’ according to Issy. Not that the adults didn’t also get in line, but it was after all the kids had been served.
“Do you need me to run you home?” he asks, ignoring my surliness.
“No, thank you. I’m sorry I’m being a bitch, too,” I reply. “I was going to ask Issy if she ever gave lessons because I’ve always wanted to learn to ride a horse, but that’s probably not a good idea now.”
“Sweetheart, you’re handling it better than the majority of my brothers would, that’s for sure.
And I can teach you how to ride if you wanna learn.
We’ll just make sure you don’t go into the barn, and I’ll check with Doc to see if there’s anything you can take pre-emptively to keep you from reacting so badly,” he says.
As my heart rate speeds up just thinking about him teaching me how to ride, I pull myself back. Despite all the work I’ve done these past six years, I still feel broken and incapable of opening myself to someone else. “Can we play it by ear?” I ask.
“Absolutely. Now, let’s go get some food. The women have it all put out and if we wait too much longer, my brothers will wipe it all out. I want some of that banana pudding,” he replies.
He helps me up and I’m kind of glad for the allergic reaction right now.
Because he has no way of knowing whether or not my flushed cheeks are from his touch or not.