Chapter 9
CHAPTER
NINE
Shelly
It’s been two weeks since those losers showed up and trashed the shop, but after Abyss interviewed all three companies, he finally settled on one and so far, they’re doing a great job.
Honestly, we keep up with our own rooms, so they’re really only responsible for taking out the trash, straightening the front reception area, keeping the windows cleaned of fingerprints, then mopping.
Still, it always smells fresh and clean, so I count it as a win, especially since we had a surprise inspection last week and passed with flying colors.
The only downside is Abyss has asked me out several times and I’ve said no each time. It’s not that I don’t want to get to know him better because I do, I’m just scared. It’s something I’ll discuss with Beth at our next session.
Today, though, Livy’s coming to town so we can go to lunch, which I’m excited about since I need to start building friendships.
As expected, I lost a lot of my friends after the accident.
They didn’t know how to deal with my immense grief, and when I ended up at the psych facility, they further distanced themselves.
Part of me gets it; we were all so much younger, and the shit I swam through was far deeper than any of us had ever experienced.
Still, I could’ve used a few of my girlfriends around on the really bad days.
So, the fact that Livy and I are close in age, and we seem to have a lot in common has me thrilled for my upcoming lunch.
I’m updating the calendar after finishing a call when she walks into the shop. “Hey, Shelly! I know I’m a few minutes early. I hope that’s okay,” she says.
“That’s fine, I just need to let Abyss know about an appointment I scheduled for him then I’ll be ready to go.
” Just as I say his name, he stalks to the front and while he’s not rude to Livy, it’s obvious that he’s upset about something.
I give him the information, he growls at me and I quickly grab my purse and move toward where Livy’s standing so we can go to lunch.
“What’s wrong with Abyss?” Livy asks me after we watch him storm off, his face like a thundercloud.
“I told him I wouldn’t go out with him,” I mumble.
“But why? He’s a great guy,” she argues. “I mean, he’s a biker with the Kings, so he’s definitely not lily white by any means, but he’s always been nice to me.”
“Because of this,” I reply, my index finger going to the tattoo on my wrist. “He deserves better than me, Livy, and I told him that. Again. He just won’t listen.”
“That’s because he knows what he wants, and that’s you,” she retorts. “Give him a chance, at least, Shelly.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. Right now, I just want to eat some brisket and not think about it at all,” I reply, shutting the conversation down. It might not be as good as what we had at the barbecue, but it’ll do for now.
Thankfully, Livy doesn’t press the issue, so I’m able to enjoy lunch while we get to know each other better.
She tells me about several things Theo has done which has me laughing.
The pain in my heart is still there, but I push through it because I suspect it’s always going to be there, like a ghost.
“Okay, here’s how you’ll take care of this,” I tell Gina, the woman who came in for a sobriety tattoo.
“It’s pretty easy, just make sure that when it starts to itch you don’t scratch.
In fact, this is what I do,” I say, as I pat my arm over my tattoo.
“It’s not quite the same, but your brain doesn’t know the difference. ”
Gina looks at the infinity symbol on her inner forearm with ‘Just for Today’ in one ellipse and the date she chose to be sober in the other.
“When I hit one year, can I come in and have a hash mark or something like that added underneath? Most days are easy, but sometimes, I have to remember why I made the choice to quit using.”
“What is your why?” I ask.
“My little girl,” she replies without hesitation.
A shaft of pain hits me in my chest, and I bite back my audible gasp. Because while I didn’t go down the path of drugs or alcohol after the accident, Amberlea and James are my reasons why I chose to stay for another day.
“I understand,” I choke out, nodding at my tattoo.
“If you ever wanna tell me about her, I’ll listen,” Gina offers after she sees Amberlea’s name beneath the butterflied semi-colon.
“Thanks, I appreciate that,” I reply. “Do you have any questions?”
“I have a friend, Gretchen, and she’s in recovery as well. Does she need to make an appointment, or can she come as a walk in?”
“Appointments are preferred, of course, but if she has a crazy schedule, she can walk in and whoever’s available will help her. If the wait is long, she can always come back or get on the books,” I say.
“I’ll let her know. Thanks again, Shelly,” she says.
“You’re very welcome. I’m glad you chose life, for yours and your little girl’s sake,” I state.
“It’s hard out there right now, but I’ve got a great support group, my Micki, and a cat named Jonas who keep me on the straight and narrow.”
“What kind of cat is Jonas?” I ask, intrigued because I’ve been thinking about a pet.
“He’s a house panther,” she says, grinning. “Hold on, let me show you a picture.”
She pulls out her phone and flips through her pictures before she shows me a huge black cat, wearing a bowtie, sprawled on a cat tree. “Oh, my heavens, he’s adorable,” I murmur, my finger stroking over the picture.
“He can be an asshole when he’s hungry, but he loves to cuddle and even gives me night-night kisses like Micki does,” she says, causing me to giggle.
“Did he learn it from her?” I question, my curiosity roused.
“I did it when he was a kitten, then after Micki came along, I did it with her, too. Look at this one,” she says, flipping to another picture.
I see her little girl, fast asleep, with Jonas curled up against her head as he takes over the majority of her pillow.
“He’s decided he’s her guardian. She’s so good with him, too. Always gentle and loving.”
“I’m glad you have that,” I admit. “I’ve got my uncle and before she passed, his long-time girlfriend, Marcella. They helped get me through the worst time of my life.”
The rest of my day is filled with walk-ins, but I made an appointment with Gina’s friend, Gretchen, for next week, so in between clients, I sketch several more sobriety tattoos, so she has options.
Thankfully, Abyss is busy as well, because my head is so confused where he’s concerned, I don’t know which way to turn. My mouth wanted to say yes, but my brain engaged first and blurted out ‘no’ and I know it ticked him off.
Sighing, I finish cleaning up after dinner, Uncle Mack is once again at the clubhouse ‘communing with the club brothers’. Satisfied that everything is as good as it’s going to get, I take a shower then climb into bed to read until I fall asleep.
“You should give him a chance, Shelly,” James says.
I look around and realize I’m someplace I don’t recognize. “What are you doing here, James? You… you’re dead,” I whisper.
“Someone needs to get through to you that it’s time for you to live again, ShellBell. I figure it should be me,” he replies.
“I miss you both so much,” I murmur, my voice cracking. “We were so happy and had so much to look forward to and in a flash, it was all gone.”
“Does it help you to know that I felt no pain? One minute we were in the truck, and the next minute, I was here. Shortly after that, Amberlea showed up. She’s beautiful, Shelly, and perfect.”
“Where is she?” I ask, looking around. “Why didn’t she come with you?”
“Because you needed to hear some hard truths from me, sweetheart,” he replies.
“You’ve been wallowing in your grief long enough.
I know you’ll never forget me or what we had, but there’s someone who wants to get to know you and give you the life you deserve.
You need to give him a chance and stop putting up roadblocks. ”
“Abyss?” I question.
“Yes. He’s a good man. He may have some rough edges, but I know this much. Once he claims you, you’ll have a family with the Kings as well as him. He’ll give you the world, ShellBell, but you’ve gotta let him in.”
I wake up with tears on my face but with a determination to change how I react to Abyss. If James can take the time to visit me from the afterlife, the least I can do is try. Right?