Chapter 11
CHAPTER
ELEVEN
Shelly
Today’s a day off for me so I gather the comforters and blankets to head to the laundromat, since I don’t want to overload our washer and dryer with their heavy weight.
They’ve got the commercial sized ones that can handle bigger items. It’s another Kings business, which is fine with me; I don’t have a problem with them even though I know they’re a one-percent club.
If I did, I wouldn’t work for Anarchy Ink, that’s for sure.
Once my Jeep is loaded, I head into town to get my to-do list going.
With my dream of James still in the back of my mind, I wonder how I’ll react if Abyss asks me out again.
I want to say yes, but I’m scared my brain will say no again.
How many times will he face rejection before he just gives up on me?
He won’t give up. James’ voice whispers in my head and I briefly wonder if I’m going crazy. It’s something to ask Beth about, I guess, since I’ll see her today as well.
I drag the bag into the laundromat and see they’ve got those rolling carts, so I snag one of them and head to the bigger machines at the back. I stop when a woman walks over and says, “We’ve got a service to handle that for you if you want.”
“I don’t mind doing it,” I reply. “I’m off today so it’s not an issue at all. I’m Shelly, I think I saw you at the barbecue out at the Triple R Ranch?”
“You did, I’m Marge. Was a resident at Hope House for a bit,” she says.
“So, you know Beth?” I ask.
“She’s fucking awesome. Helped get my head on straight.”
“I’m hoping she does the same for me,” I confess. I have no clue why I’m sharing my thoughts with a complete stranger, but there’s something about Marge that makes me want to confide in her. To trust her. She has that motherly tug that is hard to resist.
“She will, you just gotta be willing to do the work,” she says. “Listen, I don’t know your story at all, but maybe if I share mine with you, you’ll see that she’s got the ability to get you sorted out. Are you willing to listen?”
Since I have nothing but time on my hands, I nod. “Let me get this started and we can talk and get to know one another.”
She nods and heads back to a counter where I can see a young man folding clothes.
After I have everything in the washer and start it, I walk over to where she’s sitting.
“This here is Buddy,” she says, introducing me to the young man.
It’s obvious that he’s got some unique challenges, but his smile is radiant which has me grinning back.
“It’s nice to meet you, Buddy,” I tell him.
“Do you want a soda? BamBam showed me how to get them without paying since we work here,” Buddy replies.
“I’d like that, thank you,” I say. “A regular Coke if you have them.”
“We do!” he exclaims, moving from behind the counter toward the vending machines that are along the wall.
“He’s a good kid,” Marge murmurs.
“Don’t know him, obviously, but he seems really nice.” I thank him when he returns with my Coke and ask, “So, how did you get involved with Hope House?”
“After my last abusive relationship, I realized I needed to get help. I found Hope House and started healing myself. I was the oldest of five kids, so I helped with the little ones,” Marge says.
“Then, of course, I was a mom to two myself. Until the day the devil came into my home one last time and wiped them out like they were a speck of dust.” She clears her throat, and I can see the sheen of moisture gathering in her eyes.
“The only good thing that happened on that day is he took himself out as well.” At my questioning look, she expounds a bit.
“My ex broke in and held us hostage, beat me almost to death after I attacked him for hurting the kids, then thought he could take on the SWAT team that was surrounding my house. Unfortunately… well, my Angus and Carolina succumbed to their injuries.”
My heart breaks for her losses. “Marge, I honestly have no words that can express just how sorry I am that you lost your kids,” I softly say.
“Because nothing I tell you will take away that hurt, and I’m positive that every milestone that passes, it brings up the hurt once again. How do you keep moving forward?”
Because that’s my inner struggle. Deep down, I know I deserve to be happy again, but it’s hard as hell to act on that when I lost everything on a sunny day due to someone else’s negligent actions. Even with my dream where James told me it was time to find my happy again, I’m finding it difficult.
She sighs and wipes away a few of her stray tears.
“Day by day, Shelly. Some days are good, some are not, but I keep going because despite my own injuries and the absolute devastation I went through losing my two babies, I want to prove to myself that I made it out. I don’t think my higher power allowed me to survive just for me to stay stagnant.
Granted, I was at that point which is how I ended up in another abusive situation.
I felt I had no worth, no reason to be treated the right way, and because I was hurting so much, I ignored every single red flag that was present.
Thankfully, I did leave and because of the women who were at Hope House at the time, as well as Beth, I now know I have value and worth.
So, I keep on keeping on in Angus and Carolina’s memory.
I miss them with every breath I take, but now I have Buddy to look after, and some day, if I’m fortunate, a man will come along, and I’ll have a beautiful relationship.
I may not have kids because I’m getting too old to have them, but there are so many who need homes and I have that to offer. ”
“I switched your laundry, Miss Shelly,” Buddy says, running up to the counter. “I was getting ready to mop the floor and saw the washing machine was done.”
“Thank you, Buddy, that was kind of you,” I reply, grinning at him.
If nothing else, his interruption lightened up the somber mood, and when I see Marge softly smiling at him, it dawns on me that she needed the break as well.
“Buddy, can you walk over to pick up our food order from the diner for me?” Marge asks.
Then, she looks at me and adds, “We always get the special, so I got one for you as well.”
Well, alrighty then, I guess I’m eating lunch with them. “Thanks.”
“Not a problem, thank the Kings since they cover it,” Marge says, laughing. When I raise my brow, she states, “We have an account at the diner and one of the brothers settles it up every month.”
“That’s very kind of them.”
“We’re their family,” Buddy emphatically says. “Okay, Marge, I’ll go now. Y’all be careful if you walk over there because the floor’s still wet. I put the thing out but sometimes, people don’t read.”
I look around and realize there are no other customers aside from me. “They seem like good men.”
“Do you know their motto?” Marge asks. Before I can answer she continues. “Nobody fucks with the Kings. So, if you’re part of their family, you’ve got their protection.”
“That’s… that’s beautiful,” I reply. I mean, I’m not the type of person who needs someone else to throw down for them, but still, knowing that if there’s a problem, I could tell Abyss and he and his brothers would handle it? Yeah, color me impressed.
“Now that Buddy’s gone, wanna tell me what that means?” Marge asks, pointing at my tattoo.
Sorrow washes over me, but I press on and slowly, with a few tears, I tell her my story of love and loss.
I finish with, “I didn’t get to hold her while she was breathing, but she meant everything to me, Marge.
If she had lived, she would’ve started kindergarten this year because of when her birthday fell. Instead, I talk to her urn.”
Marge’s arms wrap around me and for the first time in a very long time, I feel a sense of comfort course through my body.
“You’ll always miss her, she was your first-born baby, Shelly,” she whispers.
“I ain’t gonna offer you any of those empty platitudes, either.
Because there will be more milestones that’ll break your heart, but time will soften the sharp edge of pain, that I can promise you. ”
As I weep in her arms, I’m suddenly engulfed in strong ones then turned so my face is planted in a chest. A hard, muscular chest. His chest.
Abyss.