Chapter 16
CHAPTER
SIXTEEN
Abyss
I’m sure I have brothers who would swear my heart is either black as coal or completely non-existent.
Shelly may think I’m laidback and easy going, and for her, as well as the other women attached to the club, I am that man.
My brothers, however, would definitely describe me as a hardass, someone who takes no prisoners.
Only the women get that marshmallow part of me, which is what Constance calls it. Whatever.
One of the reasons for that is that my own father betrayed not only me, but my mother and sister.
I was away at football camp and my father, never ever to be confused as a dad, decided to violate the protection order my mom had against him.
He broke into our home, tortured and killed my mom, one of the best women I’ve ever known, then killed my little sister while she slept in her bed. He then set the house on fire.
Remembering that two-hour drive home from camp in the back of a police officer’s cruiser has me shoving those memories back into the recess of my mind once again.
He was a mean son of a bitch, even worse whenever he drank or shot something into his veins, a habit he developed after a car accident broke his back.
Mom tried to stay the course, but when his anger caused a ripple effect and it started causing him to take it out on her, she drew the line, filed for divorce and took out an order of protection.
“Abyss?” Shelly asks, interrupting my thoughts. “Are you okay? I can feel you getting tenser and tenser.”
“Sorry, sweetheart, old memories trying to burst free is all,” I reply.
It’s probably because the anniversary of their deaths is next month, or maybe it’s because Shelly has her own sad tale. Who knows, it could be a repercussion of both for all I know.
“It’s okay, I was just worried.”
“Did I ever tell you what my first name was?” I question, choosing to change the subject.
“Keep in mind, when my mom had me, she was enthralled with The Chronicles of Narnia, okay? Well, she wanted my first name to be Caspian after one of the story’s heroes.
However, she was highly medicated and spelled it ‘Cassian’ instead.
The birth certificate was filed with the state by the time she realized what had happened. Thus, I have a weird ass first name.”
“That’s actually a cool name,” she says, giving my waist a firm squeeze, “even if she misspelled it.”
“Thanks, sweetheart,” I reply. “Now, do you have room for some ice cream, or do you just want me to take you by the shop to get your car?”
“Abyss, seriously? There’s always room for ice cream,” she says, giggling.
“Then ice cream it is,” I decree.
“Okay, I didn’t need a triple cone,” she says, her hand using a napkin to wrap around the waffle cone since the ice cream is melting.
“You said there was always room,” I remind her, smirking.
“Not for three scoops!” she exclaims, giggling as she points to my single scoop cone.
Shrugging, I tell her, “Just toss what you can’t finish.”
Her eyes get huge as she starts shaking her head. “That’s… that’s almost sacrilegious, Abyss! Nobody I know throws ice cream away, ever.”
“I promise not to tell on you if you choose to do so,” I reply, chuckling.
I know she’s not really upset and truthfully, if she opts not to finish it, it’s no skin off my nose. My goal was to move us further away from the hard subject we talked about while riding home. I’m glad to see she’s smiling and it actually hits her eyes, unlike how it did when she and I first met.
Since we walked down to the ice cream shop, I stand and hold out my hand to her. “Let’s walk back since they’re wanting to close,” I say.
“Works for me, I’m sure Uncle Mack is wondering where I’m at,” she replies.
“Naw, I shot him a text and let him know we were heading back before we left the restaurant. Once you pull out of the parking lot, I'll send him another one to let him know you’re on your way home,” I reply.
I can tell she’s nervous as we get to her Jeep. “ShellBell?” I call out, causing her to turn toward me.
“Yeah?” she asks as she looks up at me, a weird look in her eyes.
“Remember what I told you? Nothing’s gonna happen that you don’t want to happen, sweetheart.”
“I know, I know. I’m just… nervous is all,” she replies.
“Why are you nervous? I’m not planning to fuck you on the hood of your beloved Jeep. Well, at least not tonight and definitely not in plain sight of any cameras,” I tease.
“James was my first… my first everything, Abyss. I didn’t really date in high school, not because I didn’t want to, but I was so focused on both my schooling, but also the sports I played, that I just didn’t have time.
And it’s been years since he was alive, what if…
what if I’ve forgotten how to kiss someone? ” she asks.
I gently pull her into my arms, wrapping them around her then take one hand and tilt her head up so she’s looking up at me. “It’s okay if you’re nervous, babe. And just gonna put it out there, I appreciate the open honesty as well.”
She smiles; it’s a bit shaky, but I can work with her nerves. I can’t do anything if she decides she wants nothing to do with me so that we can become an us. “Okay, good, because I don’t know how else to be.”
“Gonna kiss you now, Shelly,” I proclaim.
“Okay.”
As I lower my head, my thoughts are consumed by her scent. She wears something light and floral; it’s not overpowering at all yet still envelops me as I pull her closer. When our lips finally touch, I have to bite back my groan.
It’s like coming home.
The electricity I felt at our first touch explodes around us and if I wasn’t such a realist, I would imagine that sparks and fireworks were flying all around us as she leans into our embrace when I deepen the kiss.
Long moments pass as we explore each other’s mouth, the small mewls she’s unknowingly making sending my body into overdrive. So much so, I have to focus on not getting hard, something I’ve been able to do for a helluva long time. But with Shelly, it’s a lost cause.
When we’re both breathless, I pull back enough until our foreheads are leaning against one another and whisper, “This starts us, Shelly. No matter how long it takes, you’re going to be mine in all ways. Do you understand?”
“Yeah.”
Her voice is breathy and I can see the sparkle in her eyes as well as the flush on her cheeks. I lean in and give her another quick kiss then say, “Let’s get you into your Jeep before I rethink my earlier statement.”
She presses the fob and her door unlocks, and as I open it to help her inside, I’m enraptured by her giggles as she slides onto the driver’s seat. “I had a great time tonight, Abyss. Thank you.”
“I did as well. I’ll see you tomorrow and we’ll see what our schedules look like so we can plan another date. How does that sound?” I ask.
“I’d like that. You’ll let Uncle Mack know I’m on my way home, right?”
“Yeah, sweetheart, I’ll do that. Good night. Text me when you get home, alright?”
She rolls her eyes at my bossy attitude, but I hold firm. She’s getting involved with the Kings, and our chapter may be mostly legal, but we still have enemies out there and that means she's under our protection.
“Okay, fine, I will.”
Once her door is closed and she starts her Jeep, I hit the roof then step back so she can pull off. As her taillights fade, I grab my phone and send Mack a text letting him know she’s on her way home.
“Take it the date went okay,” BamBam says when I walk into the clubhouse whistling.
“Fine, why?” I ask as I make my way to the bar for a beer.
“Because in all the years I’ve known you, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you whistle.
Hell, most of the time, you walk around with a scowl on your fucking face.
If your woman has performed a miracle such as this so soon, then maybe I need to check into what it takes to declare someone a saint.
Because there are times when some of the brothers think you hate them. ”
“The only fucker I truly hate is doing life upstate,” I growl out as I pop the top of my beer then take a long pull.
“Other than any club enemies, of course. But as for our brothers, well, it’s more that a lot of them don’t realize how fucking lucky they’ve got it, you know?
So many of us were raised under Paps’ tutelage, but not only that, a lot of them have awful histories.
Seems to me, we’re a mixed bag of fucking misfits half the time, and it aggravates the fuck out of me when they act like they don’t appreciate just how good we’ve got it here. ”
“Then maybe you need to bring that up in church at some point,” he points out. “Because I’ve noticed it myself, and while not everyone had a shit start, those who didn’t act like they have it worse than those who did get out of hell.”
“I’ll bring it up to Rio, see if he wants to roll it out to the brothers. We need to be on the same page if we’re about to get Sphinx here because a house divided will always fall,” I reply.
Not wanting to rehash my date any further, I motion for another beer then tap the top of the bar. “You headed up to bed?” BamBam asks.
“Yeah, still got to work tomorrow so I need to get my head down at some point,” I admit.
Plus, I want to be able to respond to Shelly’s text when it arrives and I don’t feel like listening to any shit from my brothers.