Chapter 18
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
Abyss
One of the things I’ve grown to admire about Shelly is her tenacity.
It’s obvious that she still occasionally struggles with what happened to her as well as her former partner and baby girl, but she smiles and laughs more these days.
I’m sitting in my office doing paperwork, yet again, and wondering if I can hire someone just to handle this hassle for me, when Mack pops his head in the doorway.
“Got a minute?” he asks.
“Come in, you’re saving me from paperwork,” I reply.
He comes in and sits down then says, “I’m not sure what you’re doing where Shelly’s concerned, but please, keep it up. She’s never going to be totally back to who she was before James and Amberlea were killed, but she’s closer now than she’s ever been.”
“I think it’s a combination of things,” I admit. “I can’t take all the credit at all. She talks to Marge, who has her own story of child loss, plus she’s in therapy.”
“I know all of that, but I think it’s because you treat her like she’s whole, not broken.”
“If anything, she’s merely slightly bent. Life will do that to everyone from time to time. She’s strong, Mack, so fucking strong. From what she’s shared, she could’ve died as well, but she fought. She’s a survivor and that’s how I’m treating her.”
“I think that’s what has helped. I know me and Marcella probably coddled her too much in the beginning, but she was so hurt, plus all of us were devastated losing Amberlea as well as James, so as far as I’m concerned, we did the best we could.”
“I think it’s understandable because I would’ve done the same,” I admit. “Plus, from the sound of it, she needed all the assistance she could get.”
“She truly did, then when we found out about the postpartum depression as well as the massive hormone dump, we nearly lost her again,” he quietly says.
“Thank fuck I found her in time, because that might have been the straw that broke the camel’s back.
She’s the reason I kept moving forward after Marcella died because I figured if she could live after what happened to her, then I owed it to her to do the same.
Except, looking back, she was merely existing.
Now, however, she’s living again. Making friends, drawing, working.
None of this stuff was happening before we moved here, so I will give you a lot of the credit. ”
“I appreciate it, Mack, but again, I think she’s gotten to the point in her recovery where she was at a crossroads.
She could either stay in the past or move into the future.
I’m glad it’s with me and I promise you here and now that I’ll always put her well-being ahead of my own.
I can’t say she’ll never be hurt again, but I know that as long as I’m around as well as my brothers, we’ll do whatever we can to soften that blow if it happens. ”
“That’s all I can ask for. Never had kids of my own, so she’s the closest thing I have to a daughter. All I want is for her to be happy.”
“I’m not into anything religious at all, but I think the important thing is that she finds joy in life again, since happiness is often temporary.”
“What do you mean?” Mack asks.
“Okay, you’re out on your bike and riding. You feel joy at the wind around you as your troubles melt away, at least I do. However, if you see rain clouds ahead, you’re happy if you make it somewhere that you’re able to take shelter from the storm.”
“Makes sense. Then I want her to be joyfully happy,” Mack states, causing me to chuckle.
“I’ll do the best I can.”
While Shelly meets with Beth, I run a few errands, my thoughts running rampant.
I wasn’t lying to Mack when I told him how I felt and I’ve seen how Shelly’s blossomed since they moved here.
The most important part, as far as I’m concerned, is she’s comfortable around bikers in general, and my brothers in specific.
She enjoys meeting up with Livy, and of course, Marge and Buddy, and the two of us plan to go out to the ranch this weekend so I can teach her how to ride.
I wish she was riding me, of course, but that’s gonna come. When I get her text that she’s finished, I head back to Hope House, since Beth uses one of the rooms as her office for therapy appointments.
Once I get there, I see Grace, the house manager and ask if there’s anything she needs from the Kings.
Since Livy stayed here after she was rescued by BamBam, we have started supporting their cause.
“No, we’re good for now, Abyss. Rio had some of your prospects drop off some supplies as well as a check to help several of the women who are ready to move on. ”
“Good, good. Feel free to reach out to either one of us if anything y’all need comes up and we’ll get it sorted for you,” I reply.
Shelly comes out and I can see her appointment must have been a rough one since her eyes are red. “You ready to go?” I ask, holding out my hand. When she nods and gets closer, I gently pull her in for a hug. “You looked like you needed one,” I whisper.
“I did, thank you,” she quietly replies.
Once we get to my bike, I help her with her helmet as she slips on her jacket that she pulled out of her huge tote bag. I put her bag in the saddlebag then straddle my bike to hold it steady so she can get on. “I was thinking Mama’s for dinner tonight,” I say as I crank up my bike.
“It’s got all the comfort foods I want right now,” she admits.
“Then let’s get there so I can feed my woman,” I reply.
One of the best things about Mama’s is it’s cafeteria style in that you go through a line and pick the plates based on your preferences.
There are multiple meat choices, as well as potatoes done a multitude of ways, and every imaginable vegetable under the sun.
However, their sweet honey cornbread is sublime.
That’s not a word I use all that often but there’s no other way to describe the taste.
After we’ve filled our trays then placed an order for our drinks to be delivered to our table, we make our way through the room and sit down, emptying our trays so that only the plates and small bowls remain.
“This looks so good,” she says, taking her napkin and putting it on her lap.
Looking down at my own plates, I grin over at her. “We seemed to have the same idea, didn’t we?”
Both of us got meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, and cornbread. She also has a bowl with lima beans on it, but I’m not a huge fan of those so I have red beans and rice instead.
Her giggle is infectious and I find myself chuckling as I unroll my silverware while she uses the salt and pepper before she passes it to me. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be going back and getting some of the fried chicken and macaroni and cheese once I’m done with this.”
One thing I love about her is she’s not afraid to eat in front of me. I’m not sure where she puts it all, but I’m grateful that she's not skinny as a rail. Her curves are in all the right places, and this stick-to-your-ribs food will ensure they stay.
“Yeah, I debated on getting that first,” I reply.
“Great minds and all that jazz,” she teases as she begins to eat.
I clear my throat and say, “It looked like you may have had a rough session. If you wanna talk about it, feel free, but if you don’t, that’s okay too.”
“I just need to process a few things, then I’ll gladly share,” she says. “It’s not bad per se, but my brain’s on overload.”
“Then let’s just enjoy some good food and relax, Tomorrow’s another day,” I tell her.
“This is true. Now, it may be that I’m beyond starved, but what are you thinking about getting for dessert?” she asks.
“I saw they have banana pudding, but after having yours, I’m afraid it might not compare. Still, I’ll get some, and probably some cobbler as well. What about you?”
“They have brownies plus soft-serve ice cream, so I may make my own brownie sundae,” she replies.
“May have you make one of those for me too. I can always do another mile or two on the treadmill.”
One of the best things Rio did was ensure we have a state-of-the-art gym at the clubhouse.
We’ve also got a boxing ring for those times when we need to work off a little bit of steam with one of our brothers.
When it’s cooler, I prefer running outside, but the heat and humidity in our neck of the woods makes that almost impossible during the summer.
“I don’t have that luxury, but I don’t think I care right now,” she teases. “I can always run up and down the sidewalks. But if I’m running, that means someone’s chasing me, so you better be ready to handle that.”
I burst out laughing, the image so vivid that for a couple of minutes, I laugh so hard that tears come to my eyes, and only stop when I hear Shelly joining in. “You okay?” I ask, mopping at my face to wipe up the tears.
“I was being serious, Abyss,” she sasses. “But we both know I am not gonna run, so I may need to see about joining a gym.”
“We got one at the clubhouse,” I offer. “You and I can start working out together if you’d like.”
“Really?” she asks.
“Really. Just say the word and we’ll work it into our schedule.”
“I’d like that, I think it would help me work out some of my angst,” she says.
“It can’t hurt. Exercise causes a boost in endorphins so it’s a mood enhancer, a natural one.”
“Can I ask you a favor?” she asks.
“Anything, if it’s in my power to do it, I will,” I reply. “What is it?”
“Gina came in today and said she filed a missing persons report on Gretchen but has had no luck. Is there… can the Kings maybe see if they’re able to help?”
While I can’t share club business with her, even though she’s an old lady, I can offer some hope. I still need to make it official with the club, which I plan to do when we have church again.
“Back when you called Gina to tell her that Gretchen had missed her appointment, I gave the information you provided me to our tech guy. I need to follow up on what he’s found, then I can see if we’ll be able to help in any way.”
“Thanks, Abyss. I’m really worried about her even though we’ve never met. Gina says it’s completely out of character for her, too.”
“No thanks needed, sweetheart. Hopefully, we can get to the bottom of things.”
“I hope so too.”