Chapter 23
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
Shelly
Nervous butterflies suddenly take flight in my stomach and I’m pretty sure I look like I swallowed a lemon based on the concern I see on his face. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” I remark. “Let me just make sure the house is locked up for the night, okay?”
“I can do that, sweetheart,” he replies.
Since I feel like sweat is pouring out of me at an alarming rate, I nod and say, “Alright. I’m gonna head upstairs and grab a quick shower if that’s okay with you.”
“Take your time. I’ll be up shortly,” he states.
Grabbing my bottle of water, I move as quickly as possible without actually running and head to my room.
The house itself only has two bedrooms, but they’re on opposite sides of the house.
Each one has an ensuite, a huge walk-in closet, and a sitting area.
I head into my closet and pull out some cute but comfortable lounging clothes then walk into my bathroom and turn the water on in the shower so it heats up.
The whole time I wait, I castigate myself while undressing. “You’re acting like a ninny, Shelly,” I hiss at my reflection. “It’s not like you’re a virgin for fuck’s sake.” Once I can see the steam rising, I get into the shower and quickly wash off, my mind on what’s to come.
I’m equal parts excited and nervous for the same reason, no less.
Abyss.
I loved James with my whole heart, but what I feel for Abyss is… different.
James and I fell into a physical relationship relatively quickly after we met, and while I don’t want to dishonor what we had, there’s a small part of me, deep inside, that wonders if we would’ve gone the distance if the accident hadn’t happened.
Abyss and I, however, built what we’ve got from a friendship, as well as quite a few common interests.
Plus, he’s all man and James wasn’t there yet.
He was still gangly and hadn’t fully filled out, while Abyss is layered with muscles and strength.
The excited side is because I’m reaching for the brass ring again.
Yes, I’m absolutely terrified that I could lose it all again, but one thing Beth has been teaching me is that there are no true certainties in life except death and taxes.
She feels that since I got a second chance by surviving, I owe it to myself, as well as James’s and Amberlea’s memories, to ‘go for the gusto’ as she calls it.
“But you’re a nervous Nellie because even though he told you that your scars don’t matter except as proof you survived, you’re still worried that he won’t find you attractive when he finally sets his eyes on them,” I murmur.
“Shelly, the second our hands touched when you came down for your interview, I knew there was something about you,” he says, causing me to shriek then stumble.
He quickly catches me and as it slowly dawns on me that I’m practically bowed over his strong arms, my wet, naked body on full display, I fervently wish that the ground would open up and swallow me.
“You scared the shit out of me,” I grumble, my hands trying to figure out what to cover first, my breasts or my pussy.
“Babe, I called out and when I heard you speaking, I came in,” he says, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me.
“I didn’t hear you over the water,” I admit.
“I was thinking we could watch a movie.” At my raised brow, he smirks. “Didn’t say that was all we were going to do, but right now, you’re wound tighter than a bunch of cats in a room full of rocking chairs.”
I start snickering because he’s right. The man has always been a safe place for me, ever since we met. At no time have I felt any fear so why should I feel it now? “You’re right and it’s stupid.”
He crouches so we’re at eye level and says, “It’s not stupid, ShellBell. Your fears are normal and while I may not have a fondness for cold showers, if that’s what I need to take in order for you to relax, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“Go on and cue up the movie. I’ll be out in a few minutes,” I reply, still giggling.
“I haven’t seen this one in a long time,” I announce as he pulls up The Cutting Edge. “You know, when I was a little girl and saw this for the first time, I insisted on ice skating lessons.”
“How did it go?” he asks, leaning back and pulling me so my back is snuggled against his chest.
If there’s one thing I can say with absolute conviction, it’s that Abyss is a cuddler.
He may portray one side of himself to his club brothers, but when it’s just us, I see a totally different side.
He still exudes badass from his pores, but he’s softer, gentler.
Hell, I can’t describe it, I just know that with him, all those little girl wishes and dreams appear to be coming true.
I want what my Uncle Mack and Marcella had; dancing around the kitchen, sitting out on the porch when it rains, snuggling on the couch watching television or even reading.
While we’ve only cuddled on the couch so far, I know the rest will happen at some point.
“Well…,” I drawl out, leaning back to look up at him, “it seems that I’m not all that coordinated. I was signed up for twelve lessons, but Uncle Mack ended up getting a refund.”
“What the fuck was their reason?” he asks, incensed for my six-year-old self.
“Relax, handsome, it’s because I fell so bad the first time around the rink, I broke my leg,” I reply. “Kinda hard to skate when one leg is in a cast up to your thigh.”
“Holy shit,” he murmurs, hugging me tight. “Your bones have been through the wringer, haven’t they?”
“Yeah, the calcium in it was weakened which is one of the reasons why it broke so badly during the car accident,” I admit. “But I now have enough titanium pins and rods in it to set off metal detectors around the world.”
He chuckles then kisses my head. “Well, I can promise that I’ll never get on skates of any kind, so you don’t have to worry. I’m also not big on flying, either.”
“I like riding better anyhow,” I whisper, earning a soft squeeze on my stomach.
Abyss is the perfect movie watching partner; he doesn’t shush me, especially when I fuss at the characters for being so stupid.
In fact, right now, the movie is paused because he decided we needed snacks.
I quietly squeal to myself at how tonight is going.
The nerves have abated and even though there’s still a little bit of unknown ahead, the worst has happened and based on what I’ve felt pressed into my ass and lower back, he wasn’t put off by what he saw in the bathroom when he rescued me.
He returns with his arms full which has me laughing as he tries to put everything down without dropping our sodas. “I wasn’t sure what you might be in the mood for,” he admits once we’re snuggled together again, a bowl of popcorn lounged on his lap. “So, I grabbed a little of everything.”
“This is perfect,” I reply, looking at the coffee table that’s got several sodas for each of us, as well as a bag of M&Ms and pretzels. “We’ve got the salty, the sweet, and the crunchy!”
“Yeah, we do. You ready for me to start it up again?”
“Definitely. This is one of my favorite parts when they play hockey,” I admit.
“Oh, fuck,” he says when the puck smacks Doug in the face. “That had to hurt.”
“Just wait, it gets better,” I confide, snickering.
“Let’s get some sleep, sweetheart,” he says, his voice waking me from the light doze I was enjoying. “We can restart this one tomorrow if you want.”
“Mmm, okay,” I reply.
“You gotta get up in order to get into bed, Shelly,” he teases.
“But I’m comfortable,” I mumble, my eyes still closed.
Instead of pushing the issue, he maneuvers me so that he can stand, then he scoops me up and carries me to my bed, sliding me underneath the covers that he somehow managed to pull down. “I’ll be right back,” he murmurs, covering me. “Gotta shut off the tv and run the stuff down to the kitchen.”
I curl on my side, mumbling, “Okay,” before I slide into sleep.