Chapter 6
ORGIES, CONDOMS, AND OTHER TERRIBLE CONVERSATION TOPICS
IZZY
I semi-watch Caleb as Monique moves closer to him.
There’s a jealousy I don’t understand pooling in the pit of my stomach.
I beat it down. His eyes lock with mine.
I admit it surprises me. There’s not a man I know who wouldn’t look at the gentle sway of Monique’s breasts.
Hell, I am a woman who only has an interest in muscular men with dicks—the bigger the better—and I can’t resist looking at them when I’m around her.
When he finally looks down at Monique, I turn away.
I don’t need to see him drooling over her tits.
Knowing I’m safe from him, I motion to Pez that I’m heading out.
He frowns, but slightly lifts his chin in acknowledgement.
He knows what I have planned. He agreed to help me.
Of course, he doesn’t realize I’m attracted to Caleb.
He thinks Caleb is just being a creep. It’s probably not fair to Pez, because I know he likes me.
I like him, too, but there’s an anger inside of Pez and a darkness I couldn’t deal with.
Maybe someday he’ll learn to control it or have someone at his side who will keep it from eating him alive, but I know I’m not that woman.
If I were, I wouldn’t keep getting distracted by the Kings of Anarchy’s resident man-whore.
I move as if I’m going to the restroom. If there’s a slim chance that Caleb is watching me, I’m not about to alert him to my plans.
Once I get to the hall that leads to the restroom, I take the door across from it.
It’s my brother’s office. It’s small, and he rarely uses it, but I know it’s there.
It also has a door that opens behind the clubhouse.
I happen to have a key to the deadbolt. I can let myself out, lock the door back, and slip away without anyone knowing.
I smile once I get to the safety of BB’s office and close the door.
Instantly the music and noise lessen, and I take my first steady breath that I’ve had since getting here.
Pez brought me here tonight, but I have his key that he gave me to his truck.
He promised he’d have one of the prospects drop him off at the house in the morning to collect it.
Pez wasn’t happy about it. He felt it was his job to drive me home, but I wanted him around to intercept Caleb if he tried to follow me. Plus, I really just wanted to be alone.
For the first time tonight, I feel like I can breathe.
I inhale deeply, taking in the spring night air and the scent of rain somewhere on the horizon.
I lean against the building, close my eyes and calm my nerves, which have stretched thin tonight.
I don’t know what it is about Caleb that calls to me, but it doesn’t change the fact that he does.
I have to fight myself not to give into the promise in his eyes.
I want to kiss him. I want him in my life. I want to be a part of his.
The problem is, I can’t truly let myself go and do any of that.
I have my life planned out and I have goals to achieve.
I also want a forever kind of relationship.
I want the love I’ve seen between my parents and what I think BB is building with Beau.
I want something deep and lasting—just like Gabby and King have.
I’ve known Gabby all my life. I saw how she chased after Dom, twisted her own self-worth, and tried to find validation in the wrong things because Dom never gave it back.
She changed into someone who—quite frankly—wasn’t any fun to be around.
She was once the girl that I was best friends with, my favorite cousin, and the one I told all my secrets to.
That changed after she began a relationship with Dom, which became more one-sided than not.
Now that she’s back and she and King are married with little Etta in the mix, I have my bestie back.
I have the girl I always thought of as my sister.
I think it might be good to talk to her about all of this …
With my decision made, I can almost smile. I’ll head over to Gabby’s. I can talk to her and maybe get baby loves from little Emma. I start to walk away, but squeal when a hand clamps over my arm.
“It’s just me, Izzy,” Caleb says, looking at me as if that should calm me—when it does the exact opposite.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hiss, my heart still jumping out of my damn chest. I don’t know why I’m reacting like this. I’ve always been safe here at the club, but I can’t help it. I have a sneaking suspicion that part of the reason is because he’s touching me, and I like it …
“Checking on you,” he says easily.
He doesn’t really remove his hand. His hold loosens, but his thumb swipes back and forth against my skin. I like the way it feels so much that I have to fight to keep from closing my eyes and enjoying it.
“As you can see, I’m fine,” I answer, forcing myself to pull my arm away. I instantly miss his touch, but I ignore the ache I feel at the loss.
What the hell is wrong with me?
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“I don’t think we have anything to say to one another, Candy-boy,” I reply, with the bitchiest attitude I can muster.
He grins at me, which wasn’t what I was aiming for. I figured if I got him mad, he’d let me escape. Caleb makes me nervous when he grins. “I’m sorry, Izzy.”
“I don’t care … wait! What did you just say?”
“I said, I’m sorry.”
“You are?” I ask, my voice sounding incredulous even to my own ears.
“I am. I was an asshole,” he mutters, and it’s probably a trick of the weak outdoor light hanging over the back door, but Caleb looks like his cheeks are flushed with color.
There’s no way he’s blushing.
“Was?” I ask, eyebrow raised in disbelief and sounding as snarky as a snark can snark. I also have to fight my smile when I see the look on his face. This would be easier if I wasn’t attracted to the asshole.
“Fine. I am an asshole,” he grumbles, making me laugh.
“Apology accepted. You'd better get back in there. Pez told me you guys were going to head into a meeting.”
“Griff went. I find myself completely free and alone.”
I ignore the flutter in my heart. “I’m sure you’ll find something to do with your time,” I respond, trying to laugh it off.
“I had better get. I promised Mom I’d spend time with her tonight before I head back to Lexington tomorrow,” I explain, making up shit as I go along—mostly desperate to just get away.
I don’t know why I’m so attracted to Caleb.
It doesn’t make sense really. I’ve always stayed away from his type without a problem.
Hell, it’s never been a problem to walk away from any man.
I need to resist whatever this pull is toward Caleb.
I have a feeling that he could destroy me if I don’t.
“Lexington?”
“I’m still in med school at UK. I’ll be graduating soon,” I reply, proud of my accomplishments and career goals.
“So, that means it won’t be long before you’re moving back to Tennessee,” he assumes.
“I’m actually going to continue in Lexington. UK hospital is a great teaching facility. I plan to be a trauma surgeon, so there’s a lot more I need to accomplish to reach my goals.”
“I see,” he responds quietly.
“You better head back in there, and I need to get on the road. Mom will wonder where I am.”
“You got a man back in Lexington?” he asks.
“Excuse me?”
“Do you have a man? It’s a simple question.”
“I suppose it is, but I don’t see how it’s any of your business,” I counter.
“Because I’m going to kiss you, and I need to know if you have a man I’m going to have to handle later.”
“Handle?” I laugh before I can stop myself. “You’re ridiculous. I don’t have a boyfriend, but—”
“Good,” he practically growls. He all but yanks me so I practically fall forward onto him.
“Stop. You’re not kissing me,” I argue. “I don’t even like you.”
“You shouldn’t lie to me, Izzy,” he chastises.
“I’m not lying,” I argue immediately. “If anything, you’re delusional.”
He leans down so that his lips are so close to my cheek that I can feel his warm breath. I hear the intake of breath as he takes in the scent of my shampoo. A shiver moves through me when his voice drops to just above a whisper. “I can prove you wrong, Isolde.”
My eyes flutter closed as my body reacts to his seductive voice and his strong, wide body surrounding me.
The tantalizing aroma of his cologne hits me, and it’s all I can do to keep from whimpering.
I could chalk it up to the fact that I’ve devoted all my time lately to school and haven’t had sex—not even with my vibrator—in a very long time.
That’s not it, though. Whatever this spell is that I’m in danger of falling under has everything to do with Caleb.
It registers that he used a name I hate—my full name that I can only assume my parents saddled me with because they felt it only fair since they named my brother Bartholomew.
I told Caleb that name the first time we met.
I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.
“I hate that name,” I grumble, wincing when I hear the desire leaking into the tone of my voice. Damn it all to hell, Caleb has to know I’m turned on. It’s not like I’m hiding it at all.
“I think it’s beautiful. Just like you,” he practically purrs. “I’m going to kiss you now, baby.”
“This is a bad idea—a very bad idea, Caleb,” I respond at once, giving a feeble attempt at making him see sense.
One of us should, cause God knows I’m being taken over by hormones.
My resistance is disappearing faster than condoms at an orgy.
Okay, it should be noted that I don’t know if condoms are even used at an orgy.
I’ve never been to one and never will. It would just seem that if you’re going to participate in one, you’d want as much protection as possible.
Maybe not. You’d probably have to be pretty free with your body and stuff to do that. Crap. I’m getting sidetracked here.
“Are you with me, Izzy?” he asks, pulling back slightly to look at me.
“About what?” I ask blankly.
“What’s that sharp-as-a-tack brain of yours thinking about?” he asks.
As proof that my brain isn’t even functioning—not to mention the fact that it has short-circuited completely—I answer. “Orgies.” Oh my God. I feel his body tense up around me, and then he throws his head back and roars with laughter. “Shit,” I mutter. “Kill me now.”
Caleb’s hand moves against the side of my neck.
He manages to get control of his laughter, although I still see it shining in his eyes.
“I hate to break it to you, baby, but I’m a pretty fucking possessive man.
I’m not sharing you. So, if that’s the kind of scene you’re into, we need to talk about that right now. ”
I don’t have a mirror, but I’m wondering if my eyes are as big as watermelons.
How in the hell did talking with Caleb get this twisted up?
I need to escape immediately. Shit, I may need to move to a deserted island at this point.
I decide I need to inflict damage that will make him leave me alone.
It’s the only defense I have at this point.
“I’ve heard about club parties, Candy-boy.
So, I’ve definitely heard of the group sex.
I just wondered how many condoms you go through during them and if you’re safe.
That’s all,” I say with a shrug. “Then, I decided that I’m just not willing to chance it,” I added.
I know I sound like a shrew, a bitch, a harpy, a ballbuster …
yet I’m doing it anyway. I don’t have a choice.
I feel like I’m fighting for my life here.
I have plans. There’s a life inside my brain I’ve carefully built and dreamed of for years.
Caleb has the power to derail all of that, and I can’t let him.
He’s not the minivan type of guy who will pick our kids up at soccer practice, then come home and fix dinner because I’m stuck at the hospital.
I knew when I picked this career that finding a life partner would be difficult—if not impossible.
I’m prepared for facing that and settling for real-life love instead of a fairytale, make your heart pound, overwhelming desire love.
Caleb would never fit into any scenario with the life I’ve planned—the life I’ve dreamed of since I was in elementary school.
I start to walk away, but he reaches out, grabs my arm, and pulls me back to him.
“I see it now,” he says, making me frown. His blue eyes bore into me as if they are trying to uncover every secret I have—and I’m afraid he is.
“See what?” I ask.
“Whenever I get close to cracking that shell of yours, you let Bitch-zilla come out to play.”
I feel like I can’t drag air into my lungs. “You’re crazy,” I lie.
“I’m also right. You have issues, Isolde.”
“Yeah, right,” I huff. “Like you’re entitled to judge me. You don’t even know me.”
“Keep making yourself believe that, but I happen to think I’m seeing you pretty clearly.”
“Well, you’re wrong!” I snap, wanting to roll my eyes at my own damn self for that comeback.
“I’m not, and I’m going to prove it to you,” he warns, his voice dark enough that it sends chills down my spine.
“That’s highly unlikely,” I practically snarl.
I expect some kind of asshole reply. I’m waiting for it because I’ll unleash hell on him.
I don’t get that chance though, because he doesn’t say a damn thing.
No, what he does is much worse. His lips slam down on mine so harshly that I gasp at the contact.
That’s the only opening he needs because the moment his tongue thrusts into my mouth, his fingers tangle into my hair, and his other hand holds onto my hip with bruising force, I’m lost.
I’ve had kisses. I’ve had really good kisses. This one? Obliterates every memory I have of my past.
I’m in deep trouble.