Epilogue
One Month Later
DEUCE
Ace is chowing down on a stack of blueberry pancakes, sausages and home fries at the diner, while I nurse lukewarm coffee. He waves his fork, laden with pancakes and dripping with syrup. “You don’t know what you’re missing here.”
My stomach rolls at the thought of eating all that food. “Not hungry.”
“I don’t know why. It’s been a month. Viper’s out of commission.” Ace stuffs pancakes in his mouth, then forks up some home fries. “I heard the fucker still can’t ride. Sammie sure did him good.”
“She sure did.”
“The Dogs are back in Philly,” Ace adds. “We got the insurance claim for The End, and the guys already started working on the Royal Flush.”
I take a sip of my coffee, then push it away. “Sammie’s still just going through the motions, and it's eating at me. I know she’s not sleeping good cause she sits up half the night, and forget about anything else in bed.” I pull a face. “Plus, she’s hardly eaten.”
“Shit, brother, that’s rough.”
“It’s not just about the sex, although my dick isn’t happy. It’s more about her.”
“You two decide anything about the money yet?” Ace asks.
“Nah, it sits in the corner of the room like some huge elephant she refuses to see. Just another thing she won’t talk about.
” I drag my fingers through my hair. “And that’s another thing.
She settled the score with Viper, she’s not wearing the monitor, and with all that money, she could go anywhere, so every day I expect her to just vanish without a word. ”
“You have to remember she’s a civilian, and plugging someone with a bullet ain’t her usual.”
“I tried to get her to talk afterwards, but she shut me down.”
“So, try harder. I never knew you to give up on anything you really want. I guess the big question is, how bad do you want her?”
“Pretty damn bad and it’s fuckin’ killin’ me.”
Ace waves his hand at me. “Looks like you’re both suffering from the same disease.”
“We’re not sick. We’re . . .” I let me words trail off ‘cause I don’t know what the fuck is wrong, and it’s driving me batshit crazy.
“Sure you are.” Ace grins. “You’re lovesick.”
“Get the fuck outta here with that shit.” I shake my head. “Stupidest thing I ever heard come outta your mouth.”
Ace stabs a piece of sausage. “What else could it be?”
“I don’t know.” I pause. “She wasn’t acting right even before the night at the Steel Pier, but now it’s like she’s just turned off altogether.”
“I got an idea.” Ace widens his eyes. “Why don’t you just ask her?”
“Very funny, smart ass, but I have, and she either says she’s fine, or she ignores me and continues to watch that damn Bravo TV. By now, I know every housewife from Jersey to Beverly Hills. The sound of Andy Cohen’s voice makes me wanna barf.”
“Then shut the TV off and make her listen.”
“Have you met the woman? She’ll throw me attitude, then shut me down.”
“Her pullin’ that gun on Viper was fuckin’ amazing, but,” Ace lets his gaze run over me, “I’m guessing she’s, what, five-foot-six, a buck-twenty?
And you’re, what, six-two, two-twenty?” Ace screws up his lips.
“Shit, snatch her up, put her over your shoulder and pin her down until she promises to talk.”
“That’s your advice?”
“What you’re doin’ now ain’t working, so yeah.”
I heave out a sigh, slap some bills on the table and push out of the booth.
Ace pushes the money back at me. “All you had was a fuckin’ cup of coffee.”
“Payment for the advice. Of course, if it doesn’t work, I’m gonna find you and beat your sorry ass.”
“Shit, I never thought I’d see the day when my hard-ass friend and prez was pussy-whipped.”
“Fuck you.”
We tap fists, I head out to the parking lot, swing my leg over my Harley and play Ace’s words in my head. What the hell do I have to lose? Nothing else is working.
Fifteen minutes later, I pull up to our rental, which I am really starting to like. Before my prison time, I always had a room at our old clubhouse. At the time, it seemed like the perfect situation. All the booze I could drink, and hot-and-cold-running women twenty-four-seven.
I never thought of anything permanent, but Sammie makes me look at my old choices differently, and that scares the shit outta me too. The waves crashing in the distance usually calm me, but not today.
I trudge into the house to hear Andy Cohen talking about the next episode of the New Jersey Housewives. Shit!
When I enter the living room, Sammie’s back stiffens, but she stays silent.
I pick up the remote, shut off the TV and turn to her. “We gotta talk.”
She gives me a blank stare.
“That means you too, not just me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” She pushes off the couch and tries to leave the room, but I step in front of her.
“You’re not going anywhere until we talk about what’s bothering you.”
“I told you: nothing.” She side-steps, and I move with her. She glares up at me. “Get out of my way.”
“Not until we talk.”
She mashes her lips together and pulls her stubborn face, so I lean down, grab her around the waist, and hoist her over my shoulder.
She lets out a yelp. “Put me down!” She beats my back with her fists.
I slap her ass. “Settle the fuck down.” I stomp into the bedroom and dump her on the bed. She hits the mattress so hard she bounces, then glares at me. I thank fuck she’s not holding that .38 snub nose, ‘cause I swear she would’ve used it.
“What are you going to do, lock me in my room?” She tries to stand, and I push her back to the bed.
“If that’s what it takes, yeah.”
“I’ll scream,” she warns.
“Go ahead. I’ve got Latin blood from three different countries running through me, so there isn’t much I haven’t seen and heard.”
“You are impossible.” She crosses her arms over her chest.
“You look like a spoiled little kid.” My lips curve into a grin, and she frowns harder.
“That’s a laugh. Me, spoiled? All I’ve ever done is take care of people, and what has it gotten me? A prison term and an ankle monitor.” She waves her hand at me. “And now a bossy biker who thinks he knows what’s good for me.”
“At least that’s a start.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You being pissed off, getting it all out.”
“You want pissed off, you got it, ‘cause I’m sick of worrying about everybody else while they shit on me.”
“Like me?” The two words hang between us, and I swear if Ace is wrong about this talking shit, he’s gonna feel me.
“It’s everything and nothing, and I just don’t know . . .” She shakes her head. “No, I’m not doing this.”
“Why? Scared?”
Her eyes widen, and I consider shielding my balls.
She jerks herself up and glares at me. “Fine. You wanna know what’s going on in my head?”
“If you’re not too scared.”
When her eyes get wider I know I’m on the right track.
“The morning before the fire, I gave you the perfect out, but instead of being honest, you told me we had something special. Real special. Until you talked to Ace, and he convinced you I was—'unwanted baggage,’ I believe was the term he used.”
I hang my head. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“So you said, but what difference does it make? He said it, and you agreed with it. Then later on when he basically called me a whore, you let that go too.”
“He feels bad about that, and so do I.”
“Ohhhh, how sweet. So now I’m just supposed to act like he didn’t say those things, and you didn’t agree with him, even though it gutted me? Even though neither one of you knew what really happened or what I was going through?”
She turns away from me. “Viper was texting me. Threatening my father and you.” Her voice catches, and I reach out to her, but she pushes me away. “No matter what choice I made, someone would lose.”
“And you couldn’t trust me after what you heard me say to Ace.”
She nods but won’t look at me.
I sit down next to her on the bed and angle her face to mine. “I fucked up in a lot of ways, but believe me, I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you did,” she whispers.
“Ace was wrong, but he's my VP, and after the last time, he was just trying to protect me, but—”
“And what am I?” She points to herself. “Before we go any further, I think you better come clean and be honest with yourself and with me, ‘cause someone else letting me down will break me for good.”
“You’re right.” I heave out a breath. “I’ve spent too much time reliving the past and how I got screwed, when really it was my own fault. I had no right to put that shit on you.”
“Fine. Then are we done here?”
“Not even close.” I shift on the mattress. “I never felt like this for anyone, and I don’t know what it is, but I think we could have something good between us.”
“Even with the lack of trust on both sides?”
“I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy, but I’m willing to try. Are you?”
She blinks a few times. “Yes.”
“That means no more stunts like you pulled the night at the Steel Pier. Believe me, you wanna blow a hole in someone, we talk about it first, ‘cause I nearly lost my shit when I saw you walking down that beach.”
“And if I had told you then what I had planned, you would’ve shut me down and told me no fuckin’ way.”
“Back then, yeah, but if we become a team, we both devise a plan.”
“Fancy words for telling me that the shit you do with the Kings is off-limits.”
“That’s for your protection, but if something affects the both of us, then we talk.”
“I can live with that.”
“One question. Where the hell did you get the gun?”
She huffs out a laugh. “I found it wedged in the back of a kitchen drawer when I started cleaning the room over at The End. Must’ve been my father’s. Then later, I stuffed it in the bag with the money. I never thought it would come to such a good use.”
“Shit, you handled it like a pro.”
“Another skill my father taught me, along with driving the big rigs.”
“But I’m guessing you never shot anyone before.”
She shakes her head.
“That shit can weigh on you too.”
“The one and only thing I’m truly happy about in this whole shit-show is giving Viper what he deserved.
Don’t think for one minute I showed up at the Steel Pier because of you.
I did it for me. I overheard you talking to Viper, and I knew what I had to do.
I wanted to see him squirm like he’s made me squirm.
I wanted him to hurt and for him to know it came from me. ”
“I get it.”
“I think you do.” She nods her chin. “Like those scars on your back?”
I stay silent, and she prods, “I’m not the only one with demons.”
She’s right, and if I want this to go anywhere, I gotta be honest. Fuck Ace and his damn advice.
“My father was a vicious animal who beat me almost from the time I can remember. No matter how I begged or tried to be good, it didn’t matter.”
Sammie stays perfectly still, her eyes riveted to mine.
“His weapon of choice was his belt. Buckle side up as he’d tell me how useless I was.” The usual rage doesn’t fill me as I continue to tell Sammie the horrors of my early life with no one to defend me or come to my rescue.
When I fall silent, she wraps her arms around me and whispers, “I want you to promise me something.”
“What?”
“That you’ll never try to hide your scars, physical or emotional, from me ever again.”
I don’t know how she gets me to tell her shit about myself, but when I’m around her, something inside me opens up and frees me.
“Looks like Ace was right.”
“Ace?”
“All this talking shit was his idea.”
She furrows her brow and narrows her eyes. “I don’t know which is crazier, you talking to Ace about us, or Ace actually giving good advice.”
“Well, he did, and we do.”
“We do what?
“Have a chance. At least that’s how I see it.
” I pause and try to arrange my next sentence in my head so I don’t come off like an asshole.
“I think we should talk about the money though.” I draw in another breath.
“I don’t give a shit what you wanna do with it.
It’s your money, and after all you’ve been through, you get to choose, but we can’t leave it in a garbage bag forever ‘cause that’s just fuckin’ crazy. ”
“Yeah, I agree.”
“With the not leaving the money in the garbage bag or the crazy part?”
“Both.”
“So?”
“Do you like living by the beach?” she asks.
“Fuck yeah.”
“Do you like the sound of the waves at night?”
“Fuck yeah.”
“Do you think you could say something besides ‘fuck yeah’?”
“Fuck yeah.” I throw her a smirky grin, then gather her into my arms. “I’ll live in a cardboard box if I got you by my side.”
“I think we can do a little better than that.” She reaches for her phone, then scrolls.
“I’ve been doing some research the last few weeks, and there’s a cute place in Brigantine right by the beach.
Only a ten-minute drive to The End.” She shows me her phone screen.
“We could put a down payment on it and have plenty left over.”
I take the phone from her and swipe through the pictures. “This is nice, or I should say the nicest place I’ve ever lived.” I hand her back the phone. “And you’re sure about doin’ this?”
“Are you?” Her face sobers, and I see doubt creeping in ‘cause, just like me, we’re so fuckin’ afraid of trusting.
“I read what was on the flash drive. Your father was trying to save you in the end.”
“Yeah, but it didn’t work out, just like everything else, he . . .”
“Nah, don’t go there. No matter what bullshit was in your past, he tried to right it and that’s all that matters.”
She lowers her head. “I guess.”
“When you’re ready I’d like to go with you when you visit him.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’d like to tell him what a tough daughter he raised, and that from now on I’ll be looking out for her.
” I gather her in my arms. “After you got that monitor off, my biggest fear was that you would take the money and get the fuck outta Jersey. You could’ve gone anywhere, but you’re still here. ”
“What are you trying to say?”
“You doing this,” I motion to her phone, “is huge, especially for two people who’ve been fucked over more than once.”
“Maybe because of that, we’re stronger.”
“And maybe we really do have a chance, because everything I want is right here.”
She snuggles into me. “Do you mean that?”
“I told you when we first met. I don’t say shit I don’t mean.” I tilt her lips to mine. “Relying on each other and investing the money in something real is a test of our trust.”
“And our love.”
When our lips meet, it’s sweet and sensuous, and I know we’re home.
THE END