17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
I jolt awake at the sound of a soft thud. I blink and look around my room. I don’t see anything, but my curtains are moving. I hear a motorcycle fire up in the distance.
Was someone here? In my room? I get out of bed and open my window, and that’s when I see the boot prints in the flowerbed illuminated by the solar lights. Flipping on my lamp, I don’t notice anything missing or anything out of place.
Who would be lurking around my bedroom in the dark?
I should call Woods or Dirty, but I don’t want them to freak out.
Besides, we have cameras facing the driveway.
I grab my cell phone off the charger and pull up the app.
It should have sent me a notification if it sensed any movement.
I scroll through the footage from the past hour, and there’s nothing.
It takes scrolling back three hours to see a shadow at the edge of the driveway, but whoever they are, they were smart enough to stay out of frame.
Which means it’s someone I know who knows where the cameras are.
I shiver and make sure I lock my window.
I’m not mentioning this to my gran. She’d start loading her guns and setting up traps or something.
There’s no way I can go back to sleep now. I pick up the pregnancy test on my dresser. When I went to buy tampons, I picked it up just in case, but surely I’d know if I was pregnant. There’d be signs.
I toss it to the side.
I’m freaking out for no reason.
Gray and I only had sex that one time.
One time is all it takes.
How awful would that be? For Kaylene and me to be pregnant by Gray at the same time.
I think about calling Elsie Jo for her opinion or even Jessika, but it’s late and I doubt they are even awake.
Talking to Foolish about this seems cruel.
He knows I’m not ready to date anyone, but still he’s a dude.
I’m definitely not discussing it with my brothers.
Fletcher would probably be a good listener, but then he’d want to chase Gray down and arrest him for something.
He’d find a reason to stick him in the drunk tank for a night.
I laugh to myself at the thought, then burst into tears.
I miss his stupid, jerk face so much.
Is he home with her now? Are they decorating their nursery together? Do they know the sex of the baby?
The thought depresses me.
I toss and turn in my bed, unable to stop my thoughts from racing. From returning to him.
Will I always feel this way?
Will I always miss him?
Will I always love him?
Grannie Mags is hosting a baby shower for Jessika and my brother.
He’s telling everyone that the kid is his.
Dirty and Faye are here, which is ridiculous, but it’s a family affair.
I can’t believe Gray is here. It’s the first time I’ve been around him in months.
Of course, he’s been around in passing, like picking his check up or dropping things off at the office, but we’ve not spoken.
Not since he shattered my heart into a million pieces.
He looks like shit and could use a shave and a haircut. I wonder where Kaylene is and if she didn’t come because I’m here. There’s so many things I want to say to him and yet when I try to open my mouth no words come out.
He keeps stealing glances at me. It’s unnerving.
By the time Jessika opens her presents and we cut the cake, I’m ready to jump out of my skin. But this is good. We’ve gotten our first awkward encounter out of the way. It’s got to get easier from here. That is until my gran opens her mouth and says, “When are you and Gray going to pop out a baby?”
“We’re not together.”
“Bullshit. I heard him sneaking out of here this morning.”
Woods shoots me a look, and I stare at Gray, looking for an explanation.
“You must be mistaken. Gray and I are so not seeing each other. In fact, he’s having a baby with someone else.”
“Pish posh,” she mutters.
I grab some dirty plates and take them into the kitchen. I slam the plates into the sink and whirl around on Gray. “Why are you here?”
“Woods invited me.”
“Sweet of Kaylene to let you come. Does she know you’ve been sneaking into my room and watching me sleep like some sort of creep?”
“We don’t really talk.”
“What do you mean you don’t talk?”
“Why doesn’t Foolish ever sleep over or you there?”
“What?”
He folds his arms across his chest. “Answer the question.”
“You first.”
“The kid’s not mine.”
“It’s not yours. How long have you known?”
“What’s that matter?”
“It just does.” I grab some paper towels and start cleaning the counters for something to direct my attention at.
“You haven’t answered me.”
“About what?”
“Are you fucking Foolish?”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business. Are you still with Kaylene?”
“We were never really together.”
“Oh.” I laugh and shake my head. “Yeah. Okay. That’s why everyone was calling her your ol’ lady. That’s fucking great.”
He shrugs. He freaking shrugs.
“Dickhead.” I point my bottle of spray cleaner at him.
He holds his palms up. “Don’t shoot.” He grins and I want to wipe that stupid smile off his face.
“You need a shave and a haircut. You look like shit.”
“Are you pregnant?”
“What? No. Why are you asking?”
“I saw your test. So I guess you’ve been fucking Foolish.”
“Oh, fuck off. I knew it.” I pull the trigger on the bottle. “Why are you snooping through my room, freak?”
“Oh fuck. My eye. I can’t fucking see.”
“Let me see.” I grab at his hands. “Put it under the faucet.”
“Are you trying to kill me? It burns.”
“What are you two doing in here?” Grannie Mags grumbles. “We can hear you yelling.”
“I got cleaner in his eye.”
“Move.” She pushes me out of the way and flushes his eye with the spray nozzle. “That’s just some dish liquid and water. You’ll be fine.” She hands him a clean dish towel to pat his face dry. “Now, what seems to be the problem?”
“Nothing,” I snap.
“Everything,” Gray tells her.
“Hmm. Seems like I need to break out the get-along shirt I used to put Curtis and Elijah in when they’d fight.”
“The what?” Gray asks.
“An oversized t-shirt. I’d put their heads in the neck hole and they’d each get one sleeve. I’d make them sit on the couch like that until they apologized to each other.”
“Don’t encourage him,” I mutter.
“I think we need it.”
“I’ve probably still got it around here somewhere, but Willow’s small she could probably get in your shirt with you.” She goes down the hallway to look for the damn shirt.
“I’d rather stick a fork in my eye.”
“Get over here, pipsqueak. We’ve got some issues to work through.”
“Eat me.”
“Baby, I’d love nothing more.”
“Stay away from me.”
“Why? Worried your little boyfriend will get jealous?”
“He’s not my boyfriend, and why do you care? We’re never going to happen. Wasn’t that what you told me?”
“I fucked up. I can’t take it back. And I know sorry isn’t good enough.”
“Damn right it’s not. You humiliated me. You used me.”
“I never used you.”
“You broke my heart, Gray.”
“I know I did.”
“You can’t show up here and tell me you were never with Kaylene like you didn’t tell me she was with you and having your baby.”
“What can I do? You name it, I’ll do it.”
I shake my head. “You can’t fix it. You ripped my heart into a million pieces.”
“I know I did. I’m sorry, Low.”
“Good. You should be.”
“I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“Low.”
“Gray.”
“I love you.”
“Don’t say that. You don’t get to say that to me. Not now. You had your chance, and you blew it.” I grab my keys.
“Don’t run away.”
“Like you did? Like you always do when shit gets hard.”
“You’re right. I run. I got freaked out.
You scare me, but not as much as being just like my father does, and I am.
How I treated you and Kaylene. Hell even, Madz.
I was terrible, and I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I’m here now and I’m asking.
Give me a shot. I’ll treat you like a queen. ”
He’s saying all the things I wanted to hear months ago.
“You say that now, but…” I wipe at the tears rolling down my cheeks, hating that he’s seeing me cry. Wishing that I loved him less. That him being here isn’t killing me on the inside.
“But nothing. Do you love me, Willow?”
“You know I do.”
“Then be with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“You made me a promise. That you wouldn’t touch me until you were worthy. You lied.”
“I meant it. I was prepared to go to your brothers and tell them I wanted to claim you, but then Kaylene said she was pregnant.”
“Kaylene nothing. That’s an excuse. I would have stood by you. But you didn’t believe in me, and that cuts worse.”
“That’s not what happened.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”
“We’re not over, babe.”
“You don’t get to make that decision.”