Chapter 12
TWELVE
MCKENNA
“I’m sorry I freaked out the way I did,” I utter my apology, eyes on Evelin next to me at the table we sat down at earlier.
Kinley had joined us, but hasn’t spoken as she picks at her dinner.
“It’s my fault,” Evelin murmurs, glancing to where the guys were huddled, talking.
“It’s not your fault,” I tell her, not wanting her to feel any sort of guilt.
She didn’t know what would happen. Hell, I didn’t think I’d react the way I did to what she’d been saying to me.
“You did nothing wrong. It’s my fault I panicked the way I did.
It wasn’t something that should have freaked me, but it did. ”
“What happened?” Kinley asks, her voice barely a whisper.
“I started to have a panic attack and my godmother, being the woman she is, intervened before I did something that could be disastrous,” I explain, giving her the truth. There’s no reason to hide it now. Everyone here knows thanks to Leon. He told them all what I could do.
It’s why I didn’t want to be here in the first place. I didn’t want to put anyone in danger.
Kinley cocks her head to the side and watches me closely. “What do you mean disastrous?”
Sucking in a breath, I give her the answer she wants.
I should lie and make it not seem like a big deal, but the very fact that I don’t have full control over the ability I have scares me.
I finish telling them both with a shrug.
“Most of the time, I don’t think about it.
I go about my day, living as I always do. ”
“Does it work on vampires?” Kinley asks.
“I don’t know, considering they’re not supposed to have souls. But there are whispers that hybrid vampires do.” Watching Kinley, she nods at my answer, but I can see her wheels turning. She was wondering if I’d be able to end the men who hurt her.
Clearing my throat, I change the topic to Evelin. “Are you ready for your pregnancy to be over with?”
“Gods, yes.” She huffs and leans back in her seat. “Fire, my mother, and everyone around have been overly protective. I don’t get to go anywhere really without someone with me. It was nice when Carina first got here and I’d take her around so she could get pictures for her blog.”
I stare at her in confusion. I hadn’t met Carina yet. I mean, it’s seriously only been a little over twenty-four hours since I pulled into town.
The very thought has my heart racing and my breathing turning ragged. How has it only been such a short amount of time, and yet it feels like yesterday was eons ago?
As I struggle to stop the panic once more, I feel a set of arms come around me, and I’m pulled up out of my chair.
“Breathe with me, Trouble,” Heat mutters softly while guiding me out of the main room. “Just breathe. Get through it. You can do it.”
How did he know?
Heat ushers me into his room, closes the door, and pulls me into his front, tucking me close.
“Don’t know what keeps setting you off, but you need to know you have nothing to panic about when it comes to being here at the clubhouse.”
I suck in a breath, gather my thoughts, unsure if he’s correct about his statement or not. I’m not used to this. I always go at it alone for the most part, that is. It’s always Hel and Leon who have my back—no one else.
“What upset you?” Heat asks, holding me tight when I start to pull away.
“It’s nothing,” I mutter. “I should probably stay away from everyone for a while until I get myself under control.” The last thing I want to do is end up hurting someone or worse, killing them.
“It’s something, McKenna, and you need to tell me about it. I need to know how to protect you as well as the others,” Heat states, his voice soothing and calm.
The man should be kicking me out. Throwing me to the curb, instead, he’s holding me tight and talking about protecting me.
“I don’t know why I was panicking. I was thinking about how everything seems to be changing so quickly. Just yesterday I arrived in town, and it feels so long ago.”
“I get it,” he mutters, giving me a squeeze. “Things happen like that sometimes, and you don’t realize how much time passes or doesn’t, which leads you to think about how everything happens for a reason.”
He gets it.
Totally gets it.
“I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not. You have a lot of shit on your mind right now. Shit’s going down for you, and you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” I blurt.
“Don’t deny it. I can see it now. Saw it when I first saw you at the gas station. Again, when I dropped off the keys. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
I open my mouth to protest, but Heat stops me from speaking when he presses his lips to mine. It’s not a kiss like the others we’ve shared so far, this one is gentle. Tender even.
Definitely not as long as the other times he kissed me. It’s short and sweet. Still, it was as great a kiss as the others were.
I want to push him away. Tell him to stop kissing me. That there can never be anything to happen between us. Only the words won’t pass my lips.
Heat pulls back and nods to the bed. “Why don’t you try and get some rest?”
“I’m not tired,” I mutter a protest, knowing it was a lie. I’m mentally drained from everything that’s happened, and I didn’t know how to handle it all.
“That’s a lie and you know it.” Heat chuckles, moves to a dresser, pulls open the top drawer, and yanks out a black tee.
“Here, you can put this on. The remote for the TV is on the nightstand. Watch something, relax, and get some rest, Trouble. Tomorrow, we’re gonna be talking about everything, but that’s then, tonight you need to chill and let your mind stop wandering. ”
Without question, though I have many, I take the shirt and wait for him to leave the room. Which he does, only after planting one last kiss on my lips.
The moment the door closes behind him, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.
I change into the tee, put my clothes neatly on the little desk situated in the corner, and take in the room for the first time.
It’s not a small room. Not overly large either.
It’s big enough to have a king-size bed, a nightstand, two dressers, and a desk.
An executive office chair sits in front of the desk, and a huge TV is mounted on the wall across from his bed.
I walk into the attached bathroom, finding he has a good-sized walk-in shower. Big enough for two people to shower comfortably. Everything is neat and put away. No clothes scattered anywhere.
Done snooping, well as much as I allow myself, I do my business, use the extra toothbrush I find in the drawer of the sink vanity, and brush my teeth. I avoid looking in the mirror. I don’t want to chance seeing what I know I’ll see.
It’s not that I have any issues looking at myself, but when I’m vulnerable, I don’t want to see it. It’s then I’ll know just how weak and out of control I can be.
Finishing in the bathroom, I make my way back into Heat’s room and crawl into the middle of his bed. I grip the edge of the covers, pull them over me, and settle in.
Heat was right, I do need to chill out. Let my mind have a break. I need a time-out.
I grab the remote, turn the lamp next to the bed off, and find something on the TV. It’s time to stop thinking. I’ll figure out everything tomorrow or maybe the next day after.