12. Incubus
INCUBUS
The days are longer and my heart is heavier because we’ve not had any news or updates on my Stella.
I keep lying to Isabella, telling her that her mamma is working, but how much longer can I go on lying and hiding all of what is going on from our daughter?
I’m not sleeping, eating, or barely speaking and that is mostly directed at our daughter.
The only thing getting me through all of this is my wet room back behind the clubhouse and our homes.
I can’t even count how many of the mob assholes I’ve literally ripped apart with my bare hands.
The feel and taste of blood on my body is keeping my insane-ass sane, barely.
Just thinking that shows how fuckin’ crazy I am.
Last night Mammoth had to literally hose me down before I came home as I was dripping with blood.
I took my clothes off in the garage and pulled on a pair of joggers just so Isabella didn’t see the real me.
When I walked in, Girlie took one look at me and grabbed my daughter, walking into the kitchen under the guise of grabbing them both some ice cream, which is Isabella’s favorite.
Getting out of bed is so fuckin’ difficult, but need to try and keep a schedule for her.
I’m home almost all the time. Though the last time I sat in the clubhouse talking shit over with my brothers, one of the sweet-ass whores walked her bony stick figure up to me, offering me—goddamn what—I had no idea as she was nowhere near my type.
Even before Stella I liked my women with some curves and meat.
The thought of fuckin’ a woman and getting poked by her bones is not gonna keep me hard, that’s for sure.
Not to mention I like control in the bedroom, and this bony bitch didn’t seem like she’d give up any type of control.
She actually got pissed and leaned in my face until Ajax grabbed her by the waist, lifting her clear off the floor.
He walked her to the door and literally threw her outside before slamming it closed.
I could hear her swearing and screaming about how we were gonna pay for being dicks to her, but all I was concerned with was the bottle of Jack Daniels in front of me.
Not saying I’m a saint ’cause I’m not, probably have done all the sweet asses at one time or another or even a few at the same time.
Stella and I have had a weird as fuck relationship, probably because of me mostly.
When we’ve been on breaks, yeah, I took advantage of what was right in my face and that’s something I’m not proud of, just sayin’.
Never said I wasn’t a goddamn prick ’cause I am.
Once Stella is back, I’ll be repaying her for my asinine ways and behavior.
My problem is, when I kill I need to fuck, that’s all there is to it.
Been controlling it lately but it’s so godddamn hard after a night in my wet room.
I need some connection to try and feel human again, instead of the monster who was in that room doing the shit I do.
That’s been my way to deal with it, but after many conversations with Stella, we worked out a method for me not to rely on sexual gratification unless, of course, it’s with her.
Walking to the master bathroom I take care of business, brush my teeth, and run a brush through my hair.
Looking in the mirror, I look totally insane.
Need to cut this mop on top of my head and trim the beard, for sure.
My eyes have dark circles under them. I lean in to look closer and see shit still in my beard, not sure what the hell it is.
Grabbing my soap, I turn the water on and when it’s warm enough, I start scrubbing my beard then think fuck it and just stick my head under the running water, trying to make sure there is no human blood or skin still stuck in there.
When done, I grab the towel and dry my whole head.
When I turn around, I literally almost have a heart attack because Isabella is standing in the doorway, watching me closely.
Throwing the towel down on the sink, I walk toward her as she continues to stare at me, no expression on her little face.
Leaning down I go to pull her closer to me, but she steps back.
Instantly I feel something crawl down my spine.
Something isn’t right, but I have no idea what.
“Good morning, Isabella. How are you this morning, my little princess?”
“Papà, why is Mamma not coming home? Please tell me, is she okay? Mamma always told me if she doesn’t come home to call you. Is she in trouble? I have a bad feeling deep in my belly. Why can’t you find her and bring her home to us?”
My head drops as the organ in my chest almost stops beating. My little girl is hurting and there’s not a fuckin’ thing I can do. We’re doing everything we can and still can’t find Stella. But I always swore I’d be honest with Isabella so that’s what I’m gonna do, even if it kills both of us.
“Bella, Mamma is in trouble but we are doing everything we can to bring her home. All I need you to do is be good and pray to Jesus. I promise I’ll bring her back to you. Pinky swear.”
She puts her little hand up, pinky in the air, and I contact it with mine.
This is one promise I refuse to break, no matter what.
If it puts me to ground, that is fine, because my little girl needs her mamma.
I grab her close to my chest and make my way to the kitchen to find Girlie in there cutting up fruit.
When her head tilts up, her eyes go huge as they go from my head down my chest to my boxer briefs, then down my legs and return back up.
Her cheeks are bright pink and I can tell she’s nervous ’cause she’s biting her top lip.
I smirk just as Isabella, being innocent, calls her auntie out.
“Auntie Julie, why are your cheeks turning pink? Are you sick? Papà, maybe you should call Uncle Cobalt so he can take Auntie home?”
I can’t let it go ’cause I’m typically a prick, so I push it.
“Yeah, Auntie, are you feeling hot? Should I get Cobalt here? I mean all of this usually has women passing out, so I understand.”
As I smirk she goes to lift her hand, I’m sure to flip me off, when she realizes that we have a little one amongst us, so she just growls a little under her breath.
For the first time since Stella went missing I chuckle, which has Isabella looking at me with a sad smile on her face.
Fuck! Before I can say a word, Girlie asks what we want for breakfast and asks Isabella to help her.
Once I put my daughter down, Girlie growls at me to go put on some clothes, which has me laughing out loud.
Yeah, Cobalt might have gotten the girl, but damn, she just told me I affect her, which is a door opening for unlimited teasing and poking, which I will be doing all the fuckin’ time.
Something to definitely look forward to as it will piss off my brother too. A win-win.
By the time I grab some clothes and am considered decent, and I’m making my way down the stairs just as my phone buzzes, letting me know a text came in. When I grab my phone and look at it, my heart stops. It’s from Van and what he sent me has a cold shiver go down my spine.
“Incubus, I was trying to get Stella out of here but unfortunately we were attacked. Not sure who took her but they were wearing kuttes, though I couldn’t see their patches.
Two of them huge motherfuckers grabbed Stella and took off with her.
I’m so sorry, brother. Will do what I can from here, promise. Don’t give up hope, Incubus. Later.”
I literally collapse on the stairs, thank God my butt hit a step and I didn’t go tumbling down.
I must have made a racket ’cause first Cobalt then Hurricane, Mammoth, and a few other brothers appear at the bottom of the stairs.
I toss my phone at our prez, who reaches out, grabbing it.
I see when he reads the text ’cause he starts barking orders, telling Mammoth to contact Big Daddy to see what club would take an ol’ lady.
I can’t breathe and it feels like I’m gonna just die right on these damn stairs, until my little girl pushes through, running up the steps, jumping onto my lap, and hugging my neck tightly.
Feeling the wet building up and filling my eyes, I hear Girlie telling everyone to leave us alone.
When our eyes meet, she gives me a nod then turns, walking behind my brothers toward the kitchen.
Isabella leans closer to me and whispers in my ear.
“Papà, you got this. Auntie Julie told me if anybody could find my mamma it was you and Uncle Cobalt. I have faith in you.”
That does it. As the tears roll down my cheeks I pull her so close it feels like we are one person. We both want the same thing… to bring Stella home.
The day has gone by both quickly and as slow as a snail.
None of the Kings of Anarchy chapters have been able to figure out what other club would have taken Stella.
Everyone is leaning toward it being someone from my past or another club I’ve totally pissed off.
It would take a year or more to try to go through all the people I’ve pissed off, if not longer.
Girlie took Isabella with her and both of them were gonna go shopping, with Dreamer and Rocket as their bodyguards.
I’m not taking any chances, which Cobalt agrees with, so without anyone knowing Venom is taking up the rear.
And he’s true to his club name, so I’m feeling better to know that the girls are protected and safe.
We are sitting in Cobalt’s office, which is full with my brothers and Sparkle, who just brought in some coffee and sandwiches.
Shit is being thrown back and forth, which I’m thankful for because I’m losing my mind.
I don’t see Cobalt grab his phone but when his face goes white and his eyes just about pop out of his head, I know shit is about to get real.
Before he can say one word Mammoth is on my left, while Psycho takes up on my right.
Sparkle is off to the side but facing me, and when she grabs my hands, for once I don’t pull away.
Cobalt stands and walks around his desk, whispering to the brothers on his way to me.
Nickel walks behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders, which gives me some strength.
Damn, this kid is killin’ me. A wide berth is between me and the brothers, and some have left the room but are in the hallway.
He doesn’t say a single word, just hands the phone to me.
I watch his lips when he mouths, “Brother, fuck, I’m so sorry.
” That breaks me and for once in my life I’m afraid to look at the goddamn phone.
I snatch my shaking hands from Sparkle and take the phone, bringing it close to my heart.
Taking a deep breath, I bring it to my face and see it’s in text and video mode.
So I hit the screen and for the first time in my entire life I literally lose my mind, though I keep watchin’ as motherfucker after motherfucker puts hands on my ol’ lady, who seems to be either drugged or passed out, maybe both.
I feel my stomach turning when I hear Nickel screaming behind me that I’m gonna puke.
A garbage basket is shoved in front of me just as it comes out of my mouth.
Before I’m even done a can of mints is pushed in front of me, as is a water bottle.
I hear a gasp and it hits me I let the phone go.
My vice president, Psycho, and our sergeant at arms, Mammoth, are glaring at the phone while Nickel glances down, then his eyes shoot to mine.
I see the beginning of an enforcer growing in the glance he gives me, and I feel sorry for anyone who gets in this kid’s way.
The only peace I get is knowing each and every one of my brothers in our Indiana chapter, and I’m hoping throughout the Kings of Anarchy chapters, will help me finish whoever had the balls to not only kidnap my woman but viciously brutalize and rape her.
When I look down, the sound coming out of my soul sounds like something dying, which I feel like I am.
Two men flip Stella over and are taking turns sodomizing her while looking in the camera, grinning like fuckin’ idiots giving the camera the finger.
They will suffer when I find them, that is a promise I make not only to myself but to Stella also.
They will also know what it feels like to be sodomized, and I won’t be gentle either.
My life as I know it is over because the Incubus everyone knew before this moment is gone.
Until I get my wife back, nothing, not even our daughter matters.
My only focus is gonna be on making them all bleed, suffer, and die a very painful death.
When Cobalt grabs the phone I shake my head, as I need to see everything they are doing to her.
Stella’s eyes are closed, which tells me she’s drugged because she’s not screaming, swearing, or fighting, which for once is a good thing.
Not only is she gonna have to get past the violations but also the drug addiction, which I’m sure she’s really deep into right now.
Gino, his men, this club, and every bastard who had the nerve to put hands, dick, or whatever on her will die.
I’m declaring my own war on this fuckin’ world and feel not a thing as I know this is only going to get worse, which I don’t give a goddamn anymore.
My focus is all-encompassing on just one person… .Stella.