Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Daisy’s doe eyes meet mine. Her full cheeks bloom a soft shade of pink.
Fuck, she looks good. Healthy. Healed. Has weight on her bones that fills her out in all the right places.
She’s gorgeous. Dressed in a pair of wide-legged jeans that dip low and hug her hips.
Her dark green crop top shows off her midriff, revealing a jeweled belly piercing.
Her abs have a tone look to them. Lonerock has been good to her.
“Hey, Babygirl.” I grin at her and she takes a hard pull from her bottle of beer, her lips kissing the bottle like they did the head of my cock three months ago.
“Hey yourself. What are you doing here?”
“Prez has some business with Hot Mama, and I wanted to see you. Hear you’re leaving soon.”
She nods. “Couple of days.”
“We’ve got your apartment ready, and your job is all set up.”
Her lips tip into a nervous smile. “Sounds good.”
“Was wondering if you’d want to leave early. Ride back to Anarchy with me?”
“Um…I don’t know. I still have some loose ends to tie up here.” My face falls at her words. “But I’m sure Hot Mama is ready to be rid of me.”
I lift my head. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s good to see you.”
“You too.”
“Want to get a table or take a walk?”
She glances around the crowded and loud bar. “We can take a walk.” She downs the last of her beer, setting the empty one on a nearby table. I put out my cigarette and shove a stick of gum in my mouth.
Daisy walks in front of me. Hardcore gives me a chin lift as we pass the bar.
I don’t know how long Big Daddy will be in his meeting with Hot Mama, but we’ve got some rooms at the shit hole of a motel down the street.
Outside, I take her hand in mine, but she pulls away. “I can’t hold your hand?”
She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Of course you can. I just…”
“It’s cool. No need to explain.”
“So, how have you been?”
Tension crackles between us as we wander down Main Street. I don’t pay attention to any of the windows. I’ve only got eyes for Daisy. Seeing her in the flesh is like a dream.
“Can’t complain. Been working. Trying to stay busy.”
“Same.”
“You look good. Happy.” She has a confidence she didn’t have the last time we met.
Daisy takes me to a small park that holds some old playground equipment. A couple of swings. A slide. Monkey bars.
She plops down on a swing, gripping the chains between her fingers, dragging her Chuck Taylors in the dirt.
I stand behind her, giving her a gentle push. “Lonerock’s been good to you.”
“I like it here. More than I expected to. I just don’t know where I go from here. I thought leaving here I’d want something different.”
“Like what?”
“Revenge.” She kicks her feet, and I push her higher.
“And you don’t want it now?”
“I do, but it’s not all I want. When I first came here, I was filled with so much rage and sadness. I wanted to hop on the first ticket out of here and run Hector and Jose down. Make them pay for every bad thing they did to me.”
“We’ve been trying to get intel on your kid, but it’s been hard.”
She stops swinging abruptly, digging the toes of her shoes into the dirt. “You can stop searching.”
I walk around to her front and crouch in front of her. “You want me to stop looking?”
“There’s no point. My baby is dead.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do.”
“Did someone tell you that?” I study her features.
She licks her lips. “No. I just know it in here.” She puts a hand to her heart.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not cut out to be anyone’s mother.”
“Is that what you think?” I reach out to touch her cheek.
“It’s what I know. I’m fucked up.”
“I don’t think so.” I thumb her cheek, forcing her to look at me. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. Smarter than most. And mean as a rattlesnake, if you want to be.” The smile that tugs at her mouth is small but honest.
“I’ve gotten meaner,” she says.
“Good.” I cradle Daisy’s face in both of my hands.
I want to tell her all the times I’ve woken with the ghost of her name in my mouth.
How none of the nights with any other woman felt as good as her in my arms. “Maybe all the terrible shit you lived through was supposed to lead you here or to Anarchy.”
She laughs, and it’s bitter, but not as bitter as it could be. “That’s the world’s worst pep talk. You should put that on a card.”
“I’m serious, Daisy,” I say her name like it’s a gift. “You survived all that. The beatings. The contracts. The lies. Nothing broke you.” She meets my gaze, and for a heartbeat, I see that lost girl from Mexico. The one I wanted to protect, but the woman looking back at me doesn’t need a hero.
I want to close the distance between us and kiss her.
Taste the lips I’ve done nothing but dream about, but I sense she’s not ready for that.
I can be patient. I’ve been patient. Her gaze moves over my face, stopping on my mouth.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe she wants it just as badly.
I’m about to make my move when she says, “We should head back. I need to tell Hot Mama I’m leaving. ”
“Right.” My voice feels tight in my throat. My disappointment ripping at my vocal cords.
Daisy and I walk back side by side. Not touching.
Not talking, but it’s not awkward. Not really.
The air’s thick with things neither of us says aloud.
I replay our entire conversation on a loop.
Overthinking every look and word. Trying to work out what I missed or where I went wrong.
I want to tell her I’ve missed her every goddamn day.
That I still want to burn the world down for her, but I don’t.
Instead, I clear my throat and say, “If you’ve got things you need to do, we can meet back up in the morning. ”
She doesn’t answer right away. I see the way she’s chewing her lip, thinking.
Maybe even rethinking coming back to Anarchy with me.
“That’d be good,” she says, so soft I barely catch it.
“It’s really good to see you.” She goes up on her toes.
Her lips caress my cheek so quickly that I almost miss the feel of them.
Soft and moist. “See you in the morning.” She darts off down the street.
I swallow hard and smile. “Yeah, tomorrow.” I head back inside the bar. Hardcore is deep in conversation with the Queen behind the bar. I don’t see Big Daddy. He must still be in the back room with Hot Mama. I order another beer and pull up a chair at Wicked’s table.
“Back already? Thought for sure you’d last longer than that.” He laughs.
“Fuck off.”
“She turned you down, didn’t she?”
“No.”
“Shit, man. You’ve got it bad.”
I don’t reply. I take a swig of my beer and light up a joint.
Big Daddy and Hot Mama eventually come out of the back. Prez is griping about some bitch named Ryder being a klepto and having to pay off the tab she racked up from stealing at some department store.
We stick around the bar for a few more rounds before turning in at the motel.
I toss and turn all night. I can’t get Daisy out of my system. Regret weighs on me. I should have kissed her. Told her how much I want her.
What if she doesn’t show up? What if she takes off and I never see her again?
The soft knock at the door to my room puts all my fears on the back burner. I look out the peephole and see the top of her head and a backpack hanging off her shoulder.
I open the door, letting it fall open to me standing in my boxer briefs. Daisy’s gaze moves up and down my body. “Mornin’.”
“You smell like a skunk.” She scrunches up her nose and I sniff my pits.
“I’m gonna shower, then we’ll ride out.”
She nods and plops her backpack down on the floor.
I grab my toiletry kit and go into the bathroom. The last time I took a shower with her in the next room, it ended with her mouth on me. I don’t expect a replay of that encounter, but I wouldn’t turn her away either.
I make my shower quick, worried that she’ll change her mind and disappear on me before I finish. But when I come out of the bathroom, she’s flipping through the channels on the TV. I run my fingers through my wet hair and roll up my dirty clothes.
“You had breakfast yet?”
“I had coffee.”
The guys are all at the diner by the time we’re ready to go. Daisy doesn’t eat. She just observes me as I shovel my eggs into my mouth like she enjoys watching me.
Hardcore slides into the booth next to me and stares at us a beat.
“Take a fucking picture,” I gripe.
“So, you guys a thing or what?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Daisy laughs, smiling to herself.
“Damn, bro. I’m just asking what everyone wants to know.”
“It’s none of your damn business.”
“So sensitive,” he grumbles, and I pinch his nipple, twisting it between my fingers hard as I can. “Ow. Fuck.” He pulls away, sliding out of my side of the booth.
Daisy shakes her head but doesn’t comment.
I’d love to know what she’s thinking right now, but I don’t push.
I finish my food and we ride out, leaving Lonerock in the rearview.