Chapter 26
BEX - HER FUTURE
I slept for what felt like an entire week, tucked away from the world. Remi had assured me that no one knew about the safe house outside of her and Ava, and that even Ava rarely used the place. And I believed her.
I had heard all about the young women who were working tirelessly to better this community and many others.
For those who didn’t have a voice of their own, for those who had nowhere else to turn.
But meeting her in person had put it all into perspective.
She was young, but sage in a way someone only gets after living through something that fundamentally changes who you are at your core.
They say like recognizes like, and a part of my soul, a part of me that had been forever changed, recognized that in Remi.
Wrapped in the security of the safe house, I finally let go.
I cried myself to sleep that first day, and finally drifted off into a heavy, dreamless sleep, so much so that I hadn’t heard Remi return with groceries.
It wasn’t until I had woken up the next day, eyes gritty and head heavy, that I wandered out through the small space and saw Remi sitting in the small kitchen with a tea in her hand that I realized I wasn’t alone.
She gave me a bright smile and slowly stood, as if she wanted me to know she wasn’t a threat, like she didn’t want to spook me.
“How are you feeling?” She asked.
I opened my mouth to respond, but my throat was dry and scratchy. She seemed to understand and, without saying a word, went to the sink and poured me a glass of water, placed it on the counter and stepped back, giving me space.
The best way to describe her was calm, steady, present. I knew that she was busy; I could tell she was running on fumes, but she never let it show, never rushed a moment just to make it to the next.
I picked up the cool glass and drank it in one go, realizing it had probably been too long since I had eaten or drank anything.
Remi filled my glass without question and then moved around the small space, showing me the food she had brought and letting me know that she would be back in a few days.
Before she left she asked me if it would be ok if she brought a friend back with her, I kind of assumed it was Ava, the other counsellor at the clinic, so I agreed and after making myself something to eat crawled back into the bed.
And that had pretty much been my routine, sleeping and eating, until the day Remi came back.
But the person who was with her wasn’t who I had expected, although I was very happy to see that she was safe and healing.
Mara’s eyes raked over me and then she took a few steps toward me, when I flinched she stopped, eyes going wide and then burst into tears.
“I am so sorry.” She choked out and against everything that I had learned in this life I moved towards her, arms open and without hesitation she dove into them.
It took her a few minutes to calm her tears and then step back, her eyes tracked over my healing lip, over the bruised colouring I knew lived under my eyes.
Remi cleared her throat, “Should we sit?”
She motioned to the small living space with a small couch and arm chair. She took the couch, and Mara followed leaving me to sit tucked up on the chair.
Remi’s eyes locked onto mine, “I hope this is ok?”
I nodded, trying my best at a smile.
And she huffed out a laugh. “I have to say this visit has a dual purpose. Mara somehow figured out that it was you who I had left the other day to take care of and wanted to make sure that you were ok…” Remi looked at Mara, who hadn’t taken her eyes off of me and then back to me, “She tells me you are an ER nurse and that you treated her last…”
That caught my attention, I looked Mara over, trying to figure out what could bring her to me. I wasn’t a doctor and I didn’t have anything with me.
Mara closed her eyes for a moment and then pulled out a paper bag from a local pharmacy from her pocket. She looked down at her hands, “I know this will sound crazy, because I know I can do this on my own and I don’t need a nurse… to do this.”
I went through the two interactions I had with Mara at the hospital and then it clicked, “Ohhhh…”
She laughed but it didn't hold any warmth, “Ya oh… I… I was careful, but I guess he was messing with my pills for longer than I realized.”
Remi stood slowly, “If it is ok with you Bex, I am going to give you two some space. I have a few appointments and then I can come back."
Mara and I sat in silence for a few minutes after Remi left and then I sat with her in the hallway on the floor, our backs to the washroom while we waited for the test to show her future.
When time was up she stood and walked into the room, she didn’t cry when the test was positive, a look of resolve moving across her features and she nodded whispering “OK.”, like she had made a decision.
Mara and I had never spent much alone time prior to this, but it wasn’t uncomfortable and I wondered if we would have been friends had I made more of an effort to get to know her when I first joined the club.
I made us something to eat and then she asked me what happened. I struggled with telling her the truth, I didn’t want her to feel any guilt. I wouldn’t change what happened. It needed to happen for the final threads to snap and for me to get the courage to leave, no matter what the circumstances.
But she urged me, saying she needed to know. So I told her.
When Remi came to pick her up later that day, Mara left promising that everything would be made right. I wasn’t sure what she thought she could fix. If life has taught me anything, it is when someone shows me who they are I should probably believe them.
Over the time that I stayed at the safe house, Remi came and went, never pushing for more than I was ready to give. But something about her made me want to talk, made me want someone to know me. Know my story.
So I talked and she listened. And when the quiet would settle between us, she would reassure me that I was a brave, kind, incredible woman who was not only worthy of love and acceptance…
of a family of my own that both terrified me but also filled me with a kind of joy I couldn't put words to.
She told me one day I would get what I had always been looking for.
One day someone would show up and there would be no doubt about their place in my life. About my place in theirs.
Near the end of two weeks she had asked me what I wanted to do next… What I saw as a safe place to land or start over. She had reassured me that if I didn’t know, if I didn’t have somewhere to go she would help me figure it out. But I had a place in mind, one place…
And that is how I ended up at the end of a familiar long driveway.
Remi had a contact drop me off and after slipping a new phone in my pocket told me to reach out for anything. That if this place ended up not being what I needed she would help me without question.
I took a deep breath, breathing in the fresh air, looking at the house in the distance that had once offered me peace and my first taste of safety when I never knew that could exist for me.
I pulled the hood of my sweater up to help break some of the wind and I finally took a step and then another and made my way down the long drive.
I hadn’t been here since I left for school, hadn’t stayed in touch. But it was safer that way. Safer for me to keep my past where it belonged.
I had only made my way to the first step of the wrap around porch when the door opened and a man stepped out.
Cropped light brown hair, tanned skin and green eyes that I couldn’t forget if I tried.
He was 5 years older than me and I hadn’t seen him since he left for basic training and then was deployed before I left for school.
Time had changed him as much as it changed me, but I could tell by his expression that he hadn’t recognized me.
Trevor took another step toward me, an old wash cloth in his hands, “Can I help you?” he asked, looking around for what I presumed to be a vehicle or how I made my way onto his father’s property.
“Yes…” I croaked, then cleared my voice. “I am looking for Marvin.”
He looked me over and then scoffed, “Listen I am not sure why you are looking for dad, but he’s at the gym right now…”
I pulled back my hood and the look of frustration on his face changed to confusion, then shock and recognition. A gasp escaped his lips and he took a step back, almost like he was seeing a ghost.
“Molly?” he whispered.