Chapter Eight #3
“No,” Lily says, softly. “But it’s more than you had yesterday.”
Her hand comes up and cups my jaw, and before I’ve worked out what she’s doing, Lily closes the last few inches between us. Her mouth hits mine soft and warm, and every thought in my head disappears.
I don’t move at first. I’ve spent weeks holding myself back from this woman, weeks making damn sure I never took something she wasn’t ready to give, and now she’s the one kissing me.
Then her fingers slide into my hair.
Fuck... careful.
My hand closes around her waist, and I pull her against me, not hard enough to scare her, but enough for her to know exactly how badly I’ve wanted this. She makes a small sound into my mouth and something buried under weeks of missing memories wakes up hungry.
I know how to kiss a woman.
Apparently there are some things a man doesn’t need his fucking memory for.
When we finally break apart, neither of us goes far. Her forehead stays against mine, her breath is warm across my mouth while I try to remember how my lungs work.
Bear lets out a long, suffering sigh from beside the stove.
Lily laughs against my lips.
“Well, that’s one way to change the subject,” I whisper.
“Wasn’t trying to change it.”
“No.” My thumb drags once across her jaw. “I don’t think you were.”
For a second I think she might kiss me again, and Christ knows I want her to, but she stays close instead, her thumb moving over the rough skin along my jaw while I concentrate on keeping my hands where they are.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“You sure?”
Her eyes meet mine. “I kissed you, Prophet.”
“I noticed.”
A smile pulls at her mouth. “Hard to tell.”
My hand tightens at her waist, enough to bring her against me again, and the smile disappears beneath something hotter.
“Trust me, Doc. I fucking noticed.”
Her breath catches, and there it is again, the pull between us, strong enough that I could close the distance and have her mouth on mine in under half a second. My body is more than interested in where this could go, but wanting her doesn’t mean I get to decide how far we take it.
I loosen my hold.
Something changes in her face when I do. A flicker of surprise gives way to understanding.
“I don’t want you to think I’m stopping because I don’t want—”
“I know,” I say.
“You didn’t let me finish.”
“Didn’t need you to.” I brush my thumb along her side. “We’ve got time.”
Lily studies me for a long moment. “You don’t even know how much time you have.”
The words hit harder than she means them to, and I know she feels it because her face changes.
“Prophet, I didn’t mean—”
“I know what you meant.”
My past could come crashing back tomorrow. Whatever is moving around beyond those trees could finally decide to show its face. I could wake up and remember Heaven, remember why I fell, remember every fucking thing except the man I’ve become in this cabin with her.
None of it means I’m going to rush this.
I reach up and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Still not a reason to fuck up something I want to get right.”
Lily’s eyes soften. “You want to get this right?”
“Yeah.” I smile. “Not doing a great job of pretending otherwise anymore.”
“No,” she murmurs. “You really aren’t.”
Lily stands and moves away from me, and for half a second I think I’ve pushed her too far. Then she crosses the cabin toward her bed and stops beside it, looking back at me.
“Come here.”
My body responds to those two words before my brain gets involved.
She must see it in my face because her cheeks flush red and she says, “Only to sleep.”
Slowly, I exhale. “You trying to kill me, Doc?”
That gets the laugh I was hoping for.
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” I walk toward her, stopping close enough to touch without doing it. “Only to sleep.”
Lily searches my face, making sure I mean it, then pulls back the covers and climbs in. I wait until she settles before following.
I put an arm around her slowly, giving her plenty of time to tell me to back off. Instead, she catches my wrist and pulls my arm tighter around her until my palm is against her ribs. For a while she stays stiff against me, every muscle holding.
Then I feel the first breath leave her—a long one. Her shoulders drop, her spine eases into me, and little by little the woman who sleeps ready to fight the whole fucking world gives me her weight.
I can barely breathe.
I’ve seen Lily with a gun in her hand. I’ve watched her stitch flesh, butcher meat, walk into the freezing dark without blinking, and stare down things most people would run from. But this feels bigger than any of it.
She trusts me enough to sleep.
Her hand rests over mine as her breathing slows and I lie here with my nose in her hair, smelling woodsmoke and soap, holding something I have no fucking intention of taking for granted.
Bear lifts his head once, staring toward the window.
I feel it too.
Something is still out there beyond the trees. Watching and waiting.
But it doesn’t come any closer tonight, and with Lily warm against my chest, I decide whatever the fuck it is can wait until morning.