Chapter 1
PRESENT
I stare up at the ceiling, singing the theme song to Hollie’s favorite TV show in a fading whisper for the twentieth time tonight, willing her to fall asleep. After a few minutes, I’m pretty sure the twentieth time’s the charm because her pretty blue eyes finally close. Her blonde curls settle against her pillow in tufts as I carefully watch her adorable little features, assessing the best time to make my escape.
We moved back to Sky Ridge almost a month ago and it’s taken her this long to settle into a new bedtime routine. In her almost four years on this earth, Hollie has always been an incredible sleeper. I swear this child loved to lie down in her crib every night, cuddle in with her favorite stuffed animal, and drift off to dreamland. But one thing my Hollie doesn’t like is change— at all. And the last year has brought us a lot of that.
I half roll off the toddler-size bed she sleeps in like a stealthy mom ninja and raise the guard rail, praying it doesn’t do the squeaky thing it does sometimes and wake her up. Some nights I pass out with her but tonight I have to go to work, which is, truthfully, the last thing I want to do. After only two weekends I’m still not quite used to moonlighting at my parents’ bar.
Did I picture myself slinging drinks for extra cash in the town watering hole at twenty-eight? Not a chance, but here we are. The thing is, I can’t even use the excuse that it’s to help my parents out, because it’s not. It’s to help me out. They were the ones gracious enough to let me work alongside their regular bartender Lou on the weekends for some extra cash.
Thankfully, it’s not my only source of income. I’m also a nurse in the burn unit at Bakersfield Hospital, which is ironic, since fire and trauma are two of the reasons I left this town in the first place.
But oddly enough, working with burn victims over the last month has been sort of cathartic for me. My mother is convinced it will heal me of my emotional scars. I’m not quite sure if I buy that.
My career in nursing, unlike my bartending job, rewards me richly, but even with the child support I receive from my ex, things are a little tight having to pay for pricey daycare and what’s left of my student loans. Sky Ridge, Washington is known to have a high cost of living to begin with, but in the nice, sought after area of town I wanted to raise Hollie in, homes have skyrocketed.
Our house at the corner of Pine Street and Maple is a 1920s one floor craftsman that cost me a small fortune, so the more tips the better. Hence my outfit tonight—my tightest, faded blue jeans and a ribbed white tank top that bears our pub’s name Shifty’s and shows a generous amount of cleavage. Ten years ago, I never would’ve been comfortable wearing something like this in public, but now I’ve grown proud of my curves and even feel confident showing them off a little. So, if a bit of cleavage helps my savings account, I’m here for it.
I hold my breath as I back out of Hollie’s doorway, standing frozen for a few seconds just to make sure she’s actually sleeping.
I fluff my long, golden-brown waves around my shoulders, thankful I got ready for work earlier so I wouldn’t have to do it after Hollie fell asleep.
As I wander through my house picking up toys, I listen to the local news running on the TV. They’ve been covering the Pinafore Creek Fires , a series of wildfires burning in the mountains outside of Spokane for days. Normally, I’d shut it off, but I’m in such a hurry to tidy up before my parents get here to watch over Hollie, I just let it run.
“The Sky Ridge Hotshots, Central Washington’s own Type 1 shot crew shared video footage of their fireline that redirected the Pinafore Creek fire from jumping into an unprotected conservation area. Which in turn, stopped the fire from spreading to an upscale neighborhood beyond the mountain late Saturday afternoon. The crew has been working with other crews from Arizona and Wyoming and they’ve managed to dig a line that Superintendent Xander Macomb says ultimately helped to bring the rapidly growing and potentially deadly wildfire under control. Just seeing the footage today has helped put nearby residents' minds at ease.”
I flinch involuntarily at the reporter’s words as I finish tidying. The familiar tight spread of anxiety creeps up my throat, the same feeling I’ve willed myself to push past, countless times since my twin brother Jacob’s tragic death almost five years ago. Sky Ridge’s deadliest summer to date. Two crew members, one season. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to take a deep breath, centering myself and willing the feeling away.
Tears are for another day , I tell myself repeatedly until the tightness subsides.
The handsome face of Superintendent Xander Macomb catches my eye on the TV, standing in the ‘black’—the already burned aftermath of the forest—just as the sun is starting to set behind him. He’s holding his phone up for his interview wearing headphones as his crew moves about behind him in the background. I can’t help but scan the group of men—all powerful, muscular, and fit. They wear olive green pants, and yellow long-sleeved shirts, boots, helmets, and they’re filthy from head to toe.
I look away quickly, berating myself for even searching for him in the first place. The reporter starts to ask Xander a question via video call just before I pick up the remote control to change the channel.
Nothing against Xander, he’s a kind man who worked well with my dad and brother but hearing all about the deadly fire feels like too much for me when I have to put my best smile on and face the rowdy Saturday night crowd.
“Hey, Vivi. You look pretty,” my mom, Mae, whispers as she comes through my front door. Bless her and the fact that she knew she needed to whisper.
She kicks her sandals off and sets her purse down on the bench in my entryway.
“So do you,” I say, offering her a squeeze. My mom looks a lot like me—only older, of course. Her hair is still long, and dark. At almost sixty she’s still in great shape, probably because she never sits still. My dad likes to say the devil shakes in his boots when my mom’s feet hit the floor in the morning.
“Still not used to driving around the corner to visit. It’s sure a lot nicer to pop in the truck and only be a few blocks away from my babies.”
I smile at her. “I’m loving that too.”
I’ve lived in Seattle, an hour and a half away for the last five years, and I’ve barely come home. My parents mostly came to us. My almost ex-husband, Doctor Troy Stafford and I have been separated for over a year. At first, I was determined to keep Hollie near him, but with his hectic schedule, Troy was the first one to agree that I needed to be near my family again. I needed a better support system, and he promised to make the trip on his days off to see Hollie. The only problem with that is he’s hell bent on making Department Head and barely has any R&R time.
It took a couple months to get it all sorted out but now, after being back for a month I know it was the right choice, even though Troy hasn’t really been keeping up his end of the bargain. He’s only seen Hollie once this month. I’m hoping that will change as more time goes on. In the meantime, I’m adjusting to life back home, knowing I’ll have to face the ghosts that wait for me here.
One living and one dead.
I pull the most comfortable pair of black boots I own onto my feet and follow my mom into my kitchen. As she flicks a light on, I remember.
Dishes. Shit. I forgot to do those.
My mom says nothing about the mess in the sink and rummages through my otherwise tidy space, pulling open the white cabinets and refrigerator, making a little cracker and cheese platter on my butcher block island.
“I don’t know how late I’ll be,” I tell her as I move to the sink so I can at least rinse said dishes. “Depends on this crowd tonight.”
Last weekend my parents ended up staying over in my spare bedroom.
“Where’s dad anyway? I thought he was keeping you company tonight?” I pop a cracker from her platter into my mouth, before starting to fill the sink with hot soapy water.
“Stop messing with the dishes, I’ve got them, and your dad is in the truck on the phone catching up with Xander. He didn’t want to wake Hollie. He’ll be in in a minute.”
I nod, fighting the urge to ask, shutting off the tap once the sink is filled. But my need outweighs my pride. Just like it does every damn time.
“Everything okay with the crew?” I ask as casually as possible, pulling a glossy pink lipstick out of my pocket. I use the microwave over my stove as a makeshift mirror, casting a glance at my mom over my shoulder. She smiles ruefully, knowing what my question really means.
“Yeah, baby, everyone is okay.”
She turns back to her platter as I blot my lips with a tissue. I let out the breath I was holding as I waited for her answer.