Chapter 53
When a forest fire is at its worst the sound is unmistakable. It’s almost like a rushing river. You never get it out of your head when you’re in the field. Not when you’re working, not when you’re sleeping. You simply live with it, knowing it’s the kind of river that can swallow you whole. We knew this fire was going to be bad, but it has been a hundred times worse than we expected.
For ten days we haven’t showered—at best we’ve been hosed off when we needed relief from the heat—we’ve barely had time to eat, barely slept, barely had time to talk. For days, we’ve dug, we’ve chopped, we’ve sawed, we’ve climbed this damn mountain foot by foot, digging down to mineral soil while our arms ached, then we kept fucking climbing. Thing is, I would be lying if I said I didn’t love it. There’s no greater high than going up against nature and redirecting its carnage.
Even with all our work, more than two thousand properties on the west side are under an evacuation order, and more than a thousand more are under an evacuation alert. This mammoth has grown to almost twelve thousand acres and the only thing between it and the homes and businesses of our town and the neighboring ones, is us. Crews from Utah and Oregon have worked alongside us tirelessly, and finally, the air cooled and the wind died down for the first time in over a week. We’re seeing flames turn to black, and the lines we’ve dug in are doing their jobs, and I’m finally sitting to eat and take a proper break for the first time in ten days.
“Holdin’ that thing up in the air isn’t going to make it work any better.” Sup winks as I hold my cell to the sky hoping for service. I don’t know why I’m still trying. I haven’t been able to get any since I got here, I don’t know why I’d think I would today. We’re too deep in the woods. We’re sitting in the black eating beef jerky and trail mix. Lunch of fucking champions.
“Fuck this is depressing.” I chuckle, taking another bite. Sup grins.
“The secret ingredient is misery.”
“Pretty much.”
“You’ll get dinner. Probably stir fry again, but it’s hot food,” Sup says, scrubbing his dirty face with his hand.
“Hey, at least this caterer is better than Pickler Mountain.” Caleb chuckles, ripping open an Uncrustable peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The thing looks like it got run over by a truck.
“What happened on Pickler Mountain?” Roycie asks, taking a seat. He wipes his face with the back of his sleeve, and it turns his black soot and ash covered face to a lighter, smudgy gray.
“We all got food poisoning,” I tell him. “We were all excited because they said they had a caterer for us, it wasn’t a very big fire so that’s abnormal. Someone from town wanted to be kind.”
“Plain boiled chicken with a bit of teriyaki. Fucking traumatizing.” Caleb says.
“ Fuckkk, ” Roycie says, opening a bag of Skittles.
“We all saw it again later that day…in various ways,” Sup adds. Our entire small group starts to laugh.
“Double fuck,” Roycie says. “Then I’m not complaining about our sixth night of stir fry then.”
“Right?” I say, dumping my trail mix into my mouth.
The group quiets for a minute, everyone in their own exhausted thoughts.
“With any luck, we’ll be heading out tomorrow,” Sup says. “Y’all outdid yourselves. That first night was?—"
“A hundred fuckin’ years of fightin’ fires in one night?” Roycie asks, and the rest of us laugh.
“Yeah,” Sup says. “But you killed it.”
I swallow my last bite of shit jerky and lay down in the black, looking up at where the sky should be. We did it. We kept the county safe. Of course, I still can’t see it, all I see is smoke but, fuck I know it’s there somewhere. I hold my phone up trying to get a signal again. Nada.
If I could just talk to her, hear her voice. I’d give just about anything right now.
I look to my left where the smoke is the thickest. I own the rest of you, bitch, I tell the flames. Not long now. I’m ready to go home.
The sound of thick mud under my boots is comforting as we make our way down Knox Mountain, through the last of the foothills into the clearing where the site is a frenzy of packing and loading. This is the first green I’ve seen in days, and after last night’s rain it’s soaked. The sun is out and the sky is actually blue. My eyes burn after almost two weeks in the thick smoke.
I pull my phone out of my back pocket. My pack is heavy on my back after our trudge from the spike camp we called home for the last eleven days. I have service but it’s three in the afternoon and I’ll be home before four.
I know Violette’s on days this week, so by the time I get home and spend an hour in the shower scrubbing until I can see my actual skin, she should be home. I’m struggling with the decision to tell her I’m coming or surprise her. A thought occurs to me as I wager it.
“Anyone talk to Jack today to let him know we’re coming home?” I ask as I help the boys pack up the trucks and wagon.
“No, I’m gonna call him tomorrow and go for a beer with him, give him the lowdown. He still likes to feel connected,” Sup says with a tired grin. “But tonight, I just wanna veg.”
I nod. Perfect.
Opp nudges me as we climb into the back of the uncomfortable green buggie that will take us home.
“What do you think Jacob would say about you and his sister?” he asks.
I look out the window. “I’ve thought about that a lot,” I tell him honestly, instinctively rubbing my thigh, it’s been aching all night. “He knew I cared for Vi, we only talked about it once, but he told me he thought I’d end up being an actual part of his family somehow and to not fuck it up.”
“Was that after you took Sheriff Miller’s daughter out for him and stole the video of him breaking and entering off her phone?” he asks, still looking out the window. When I don’t respond, he turns to face me and starts to laugh.
“He may not have told you this, but he told me. Said it to me one drunken night a few months before he…you know.” He trails off without saying “he passed.” Five years, and we all avoid saying the words still.
“Said the only reason he was a hotshot was because you saved his ass once and it gave him a get out of jail free card.”
I gulp.
“Said you gave Vi up to do it and that he always regretted asking you because he thought you two belonged together.”
“Why wouldn’t he have said that to me?” I ask, not really expecting an answer.
Opp shrugs. “We all live with regrets, who knows?”
He flicks his gaze back out the window. “Just make sure you do right by her, or we’ll all kick your ass.”
I chuckle and backhand cuff him in the arm. “Listen, if I fuck this up, I’ll welcome any ass kicking.” I pull my phone out and check the time as I say it; not long now.
I can’t fucking wait.