Chapter 57
Thirty minutes later I still don’t have any answers as the girl we just brought in—Angela—is taken away to be prepped for surgery. And I’m taking matters into my own hands to find out what the hell just happened.
I find out that Troy is stable and is having his fractured arm casted, his minor burns treated and his head stitched up as we speak. He’ll have to stay the night but will probably be released tomorrow.
I wait for the go ahead and then, just as my shift is finishing, I find his room and push the door open. It’s dark and he’s hooked up to saline and a drip for pain. When I enter, he turns his head and faces me, and I swear I see his eyes turn glassy.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes, Violette,” he says as I come closer to the bed and sit down in the chair beside him.
“What happened?” I ask. He looks broken, and according to the reports from the medic team he and his friend were damn lucky.
“What happened is… in a span of ten seconds, I realized that I have been a really shitty husband and father for the last two years.”
I recoil with his admission and stay quiet; I just don’t have the words.
He moves to reposition himself and his face scrunches up in pain.
“You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes? That’s true, Violette. Mine did and I didn’t see anything but work.” He holds his side where he has three broken ribs.
“I left Hollie tonight because I’m a lazy fucking father. And your guy, the one you’re dating…” he says. My eyes move to his. “I lied to him.”
My mouth falls open as I try to figure out what he’s talking about. “I don’t understand.”
“He’s back, freshly back from Knox—I assume that’s where he was. It’s all anyone was talking about at…the club. He came to see you and Hollie tonight when I was dropping her off with your mom. I told him we were… you were, open to maybe trying again… with us,” he says.
I grip the sides of the chair “ What?” I ask too loudly for this quiet space. “Why would you?—”
“Because even though we’re over and I let you and Hollie down, the feeling of being replaced hurt my ego,” he says honestly. “I realize now we would never work, Violette. I’m a selfish asshole and it’s my own fault you replaced me. I was never good enough for either of you.”
My mind reels. All I can think about is getting to Rowan wherever he is right now and telling him Troy lied to him.
“But your guy?—”
“ Rowan,” I correct him.
“Rowan. Funny enough, he was driving behind me when I hit that elk, and he called 911. He even rode in the ambulance with me. He could’ve left me there; he had no reason to help me, but he did.”
Everything around me starts to go hazy and I feel lightheaded. That’s why Scottie said she’d talk to me on the next run. She was going to tell me Rowan was home.
Oh my God. Rowan is home and there’s nothing stopping me from finding him right now other than this conversation, which I’m done having.
“He helped you because he’s a good man, Troy, a better man than you. I hope you learn from him.” I stand and move to leave the room. “We’ll talk about this when you’re better, but your daughter isn’t a pawn, and if you really do realize that, you’re going to put your money where your mouth is. She’s a person…and going forward if you want to see her, we’re going to have a set in stone schedule. One you will abide by, or I’ll be taking you to court and having an order mandated. You will show up on your scheduled days and you will treat her like she deserves, or you won’t see her,” I tell him, finding the fire inside me.
“Violette—”
“No, Troy. I’m going home now, but you have a couple days to think. Decide what you want to do and let me know,” I tell him with a shrug as I push through the door feeling freer than I’ve ever felt. I don’t have to overcompensate for Troy. Hollie has me and she has Rowan. If Troy wants to know her, he’s going to do it in a way that works for Hollie or not at all.
The moment I get into my car I’m plugging my phone in, I know it’s going to take a few minutes to come alive. I ponder as I drive. Suddenly, everything is clear, and I feel like the heaviest weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I drive. All of my fears, all my anxieties about Jacob’s death and about Rowan’s job dissipatealong with any feelings or any obligation I ever felt for Troy, and all I can think about is getting to Rowan. I turn onto Main, knowing I’m minutes away from the only arms I’ve ever really felt whole in.
As I’m pulling into my driveway I’m telling myself that he knows me better than Troy’s words. That he knows how I feel about him even though I’ve never really told him clearly.
“Almost forgot how goddamn beautiful you are.”
My body is instantly covered in goosebumps as the deep timbre I’ve missed so much for the last eleven days washes over me. My eyes search in the direction I heard Rowan’s voice and find him rising from my outdoor sofa. He looks fresh from the shower; his dark blond hair is still damp and he’s wearing gray sweats and a black T-shirt. He looks like he was prepared to camp on my porch all night.
I stand frozen, just drinking him in, the broad expanse of his shoulders, the deep navy of his eyes and the subtle scruff of his jaw. His arms seem even more powerful than before he left and I can’t remember seeing anything so beautiful. He smirks at me and starts to make his way off the front porch until he’s towering over me, looking down at me from his full height.
“You look damn good, Vi,” he says and then his mouth is crashing down on mine in the dark. His arms wrap around me and move over me, and I, in turn, wrap mine around his neck and pull him closer, not caring if anyone drives by, not caring if a meteor lands in my backyard. I fist his shirt, and I lose myself a little more with every languid sweep of his tongue. Rowan kisses me back like I’m the breath he needs to fill his lungs.
“I’m not getting back together with?—”
“Shhh…of course I fucking know that.” He kisses me again. “We had a deal.” He smirks. “Those weren't supposed to be your first words to me, Violette.” His lips coming down on mine again in a desperate kiss is settling. An affirmation. Like I’m his need to survive. Moments pass like this and when he pulls his lips from mine, I whimper with the loss.
“I love you, Rowan,” I whisper, reveling in the easy way it rolls off my tongue.
“I love you, Violette, so much,” he murmurs. “I’ve fucking loved you since I was eighteen years old. It’s taken us a long time to get here, and there are times I feel like everything and anything has tried to keep us apart, but I know I’ll never stop loving you. I love you and Hollie, and I want to be with you both—always. I want to be everything for both of you.” He kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll wait as long as I need to for you to come to terms with my job, I know it’s dangerous, I know it brings up terrible memories for you?—”
“No, Rowan,” I say as a tear spills down my cheek. He kisses it away. “I’m not afraid of us anymore, and I’m working on not letting the fear of losing you cripple me. Jacob wouldn’t want that; he’d want me to love free of fear,” I say in a whisper.
Rowan strokes my cheeks with his calloused thumbs as he looks into my eyes.
“I’m working on it.” I repeat, “Troy was the safe choice. The doctor, the man who takes zero risks in life. And he could’ve died tonight. Simply driving down the road. Our jobs don’t matter; how careful we are doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is fate, we end up where we’re meant to be and with the one person we’re meant to be with. And I’m meant to be with you.” I grip my hands behind his neck.
“It’s always been me and you, Kingsley. An electrostatic attraction. Fate.” I grin. “I love you so damn much,” I say, sliding my hands up to press my palms to either side of his face. I reach up on my tip toes and kiss him.
“Say it again,” he says, his tone full of gravel.
I grin. “I love you, Rowan Kingsley. You’ve always had my heart.”
I’m answered with another kiss as Rowan scoops me up into his arms like he’s about to carry me over the threshold. “I need to get you inside before every piece of clothing you’re wearing ends up at your feet in the grass.”