9. Christian
Iexpect a lot of questions, but none come. That seems to be the theme today: Raven looking like she wants to ask badly, but in the end, she doesn’t. I keep waiting for the interrogation to happen, but I suppose her hesitance comes from the boundaries I set the moment this assignment started.
There’s a tinge of regret that sits inside me, but then the flash of a woman screaming before an echoing gunshot comes rolling in—a reminder that I’m doing the right thing.
“Well, it’s in the past now.” She shrugs. “I’m pretty sure if the people here find out, it won’t be a big deal anymore.”
Maybe to some, but I know a few who’d still make a big deal out of it and spread it around like it is gospel. I don’t want Aaron to think I’m overstepping boundaries or trying to start something because I’m not. He’s a truly good guy, one who treats Honey Lee right, and I’ve come to a point where I’m genuinely happy for them.
“Not that they’ll find out. Or if they did, it won’t come from me,” Raven adds, then pretends her mouth’s a zipper and she’s closing it.
There’s a mischievous glint in her eye. But there’s also a restless vibe to her that I noticed since we started this game, and it keeps growing every time I tone down her dares into questions or safe activities.
I get her cabin fever. I have it sometimes, too, but I guess I’m better at ignoring it since there were days when I was stuck on the military base with nothing to do. And being stuck with her isn’t so bad.
Unless you count me holding her in my lap and almost kissing her, which hasn’t happened again.
Stop thinking about it.
“Hmm. My secret’s safe, then.”
“Where does the back lead to?”
The random change of topic throws me off. “Back?”
“Of your house.”
“Oh. It’s a field. Then the forest. Why?”
“I keep seeing it every time you dare me to walk a straight line to the kitchen.” She gives me a baleful look. “What about your neighbors? How are they?”
“Good. Mostly old people. And the next two houses are vacant. Are you tired of the game now? Or are you delaying it because you know I’ll just ask you another question?”
At my teasing, she glares. “It’s getting boring. You’re making it boring.”
“Let’s go to sleep, then.”
“I want to keep playing.”
“Fine. Truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
I open my mouth, intending to ask her yet another question, but the way her gaze is boring holes into my skull tells me this might be the last straw for her. I hesitate only for a second before I go for it.
“I dare you to do something you’ve never done before.”
Her pupils dilate in the realization that I just repeated her statement, then shock. Then anticipation slides in, one that lights up her features and taps at my curiosity. What is she planning?
Is she going to down the whiskey like I did? Is she going to dance around the room? When she reaches for her glass, I chuckle.
“Now who’s calling who boring?—”
Then, the rest of the words die in my throat when Clara takes a long gulp, slams the glass down, and runs toward the kitchen. But she doesn’t stop there, her hands already opening the back door with the twists and clicks she practiced with me before. Seconds later, she’s outside.
I move to follow her, torn between amusement and confusion as she keeps walking away from my backyard. Then shock slams into me when Raven strips off her clothes in one go until she’s down to her underwear. My mouth goes dry at the sight of her lace bra and panties, but it’s the gleam in her eyes that takes my focus.
“No wolves or bears here, right?”
“No.”
“Sure?”
A growl simmers in my throat at the idea that people will see her like this, but logic counters my overprotective streak when I remember I don’t have neighbors nearby.
“Yes.”
She nods. Then she goes for it, running toward the field in only her underwear and her hair flying behind her. I’m still deep in my state of shock, but the instinct to be near her snaps in and I’m sprinting after her and catching up within seconds.
Raven doesn’t stop. She keeps going into the long grass until we’re hidden from the houses, with only the moonlight and the greenery surrounding us. The wind’s perfect tonight, not too chilly and not too warm, and it gives off such a nostalgic vibe as I recall the number of times I’ve done this—not naked, but also at night when everyone’s asleep.
My nostalgia is nothing compared to the flush on her cheeks, though. Raven finally stops to catch her breath.
“Are you drunk?”
Her flush deepens, and I’m forced to look away from the trail of pink leading down her body. But I see her shake her head.
“No. I’m happy.”
“Happy?”
She giggles. “It’s the I’ve-had-a-few-glasses-of-whiskey type of happy. But I’m not drunk. I just drank enough to feel…bold enough to do this. To be reckless. To stop being afraid of living. I’ve been so careful and so afraid these past few months, so I wasn’t really living. But now I am. And it makes me so happy.”
It’s not just words. The joy’s shining on her face, too, a glow that nothing else but this moment of freedom can give. Comprehension dawns that, again, it stems from her ex-boyfriend and how badly he messed her up, and the thought alone sends violence surging in my system.
But I don’t let it out. I keep calm, wanting her to enjoy this moment. Maybe to give her more.
An idea flits in.
“Do you trust me?”
She studies me. “You’re very arrogant. Sometimes rude. And grumpy. Like you have no choice but to do this assignment.”
“Yes.” And I hate that it’s come to that, but I can’t help it. “But do you trust me?”
There’s a second of silence, but her answer rings loud and clear.
“Yes.”
I hold out my hand. She looks at it, then gingerly takes it, and I try my best to ignore the zap of electricity that travels between us whenever any of our body parts are this close. I tug on her hand and we start walking again.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” Then, because I don’t want to sound like a dangerous guy, I add, “It’s a safe space, I promise.”
She doesn’t say a word when I lead her into the forest, where the sound of an owl and other forest animals offer a source of comfort to me. We walk deeper and deeper in until there’s a dirt trail leading downward into bushes and thicker trees. When I sense her growing nervous, I stop.
“Do you want to go back?”
She stares at the semi-darkness and shakes her head, so we keep going into the bushes and trees. The moment we step out into a clearing, I get to witness her nerves turn into astonishment, then an open delight that makes me grin.
“It’s a small pond. Nick and I used to hang out here.”
“Is it safe to swim in?”
“Yeah.”
The water’s dark now, but I know it’s clear as they come in the daylight—and it’s safe. She turns to me and smiles, a raw sincerity that clutches my heart. Then she’s slipping in without another word and dunking her head, then rising like a siren with her hair like a glistening veil behind her.
My mouth’s dry again at the sight, but I keep my voice steady.
“Don’t get too far into the center. It’s already deep there.”
“Oh, my God. It’s cold.” But she dunks her head again as if she can’t get enough of that. At her next rise, her shoulders are trembling and her eyes are sparkling. “Seriously. It’s really cold.”
“Come out, then. Maybe it’s not a good idea…”
Before I can finish my sentence, she shakes her head.
“No. I love it here. You should join me. Maybe with two people in, it won’t be as cold.”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
I shake my head, too, when she goes underwater a third time, then swims out further before she twists her body to float. The thicker trees in that area cover her from the moonlight, which is just as well because…well, I don’t think the moonlight and her wet underwear plastered on her body are a good idea together.
After some minutes of her floating and the silence, she returns to swimming and turns to me. “Are you really not going in?”
“I have to watch over and protect you.”
“From what? The wild rabbits or the owl?”
I smirk. “Both.”
“When was the last time you swam in here?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a year ago.”
“Then come on in.”
I’m tempted. Too tempted, and that’s not good. But again, nostalgia kicks in and the water calls my name—and to be honest, I don’t think I’m in the kind of state to ignore it.
Before I can think about it, I’m stripping off my pants, too, then my shirt, as Raven watches me. Her gaze stays steady when I finally slip into the water and swear ripely.
“Shit. You weren’t kidding about the cold.”
She giggles and keeps swimming in her spot while I do the same in mine until my body adjusts to the temperature. I sigh after a while and close my eyes, just wanting to bask it all in. But my ears are on alert with her movements, especially when she wades closer.
“Did you bring your girls here, too?”
I open my eyes and note her curiosity, which doesn’t hold judgment. “No. Just Nick.”
“So, you just swim and talk?”
“Sometimes talk. Mostly swim. It’s a nice place to forget about problems.” When she hesitates again, I decide that I want to share this part of me. “Not girl problems. Career problems. I didn’t know what I wanted until I enlisted. I couldn’t make up my mind, and I felt bad because Clara and Nick always had their goals in life. Clara wanted to help people and Nick wanted to get away from here.”
“Did you love it from the start?”
“Hell, no. Training was brutal and I hated every second of it at the beginning. I didn’t let anyone know, though. Then it got better and I began to enjoy it. Mostly because I met great comrades.”
“But Nick’s still your best friend?”
“Yup. That won’t change. He’s like a brother to me.”
She smiles. “I don’t have a best friend. But I have a sister, and I suppose she’s my best friend. She travels a lot for work, though, so I miss her more often than I see her.”
“Does she know? About what your ex did?”
“No. If she knew, she’d come home early and lose her job. Even if I tell her not to.”
Her smile fades and she gets distracted with thoughts. It’s probably why she doesn’t see where she’s wading and stumbles. In the blink of an eye, I’m at her side and helping her up, then guiding her until she’s at the edge, where the water’s up to her shoulders.
“Careful.”
“I am. I’ve always been.”
“I mean now.”
“I don’t want to be careful now.” There’s that challenge in her eyes again, piercing right through me. “Truth or dare?”
It’s the same, but it feels different—like the trees have cut us off from the outside world, making everything so much more intimate. I should tell her that it’s time to get out of the water, but something else comes out of my mouth.
“Dare.”
“I dare you to do something you’ve never done before.”
Same dare, too, but now it’s much more personal.
“Are you sure about that?”
She nods. I’m not aware that I’ve been wading closer, too, until her chest is brushing against mine. Then I’m all too aware of everything, from the way the smallest graze becomes an unbearable friction to her rapid, hot breaths.
“Yes.”
Her whisper feels like a punch. I shudder from the impact of it, then lower my head so she can feel how erratically I’m breathing, too. I close my eyes and fight it one last time, a struggle that feels futile when her hands clutch my shoulders and she rises from the water.
Instinct drives my leg forward until I can catch her and she won’t sink back. Desire streaks in like a lightning bolt when her legs straddle my thigh, but it’s when our mouths meet that I know I’m doomed. I thought sleeping with her would have lessened the desire, but the kiss feels brand new and familiar at the same time—and it’s as hot as ever, sparking a rush of delight before even more desire surges like a tide.
When I find her bra strap and lower it, she softly bites my lower lip. When I cup her bare breast, she moans against my tongue and has my cock hardening even more. I can’t help but trail my kisses downward while I play with her breast, enamored by the velvety smoothness of her neck.
“That’s cheating.” Her voice is throaty and shaking, but she arches toward my mouth. “You’ve kissed me before.”
“I’ve never kissed you in this waterhole before. I’ve never kissed a woman here before.”
And I want to do more than kiss her. I want to be inside her again, sinking into that wet heat and driving in and out until she clamps tightly around me. The fantasy of fucking her against the rock her back is against is so visceral that I fight back a groan when she starts rocking against my thigh as if that alone can give her pleasure.
But it doesn’t, not when she needs more. I can sense her restlessness building again as she writhes against me, so I lift her and change her position until she’s trapped against me—and I grind my erection into her heat until she can feel how hard I am for her. With only our underwear separating us, it’s heaven.
It’s also hell, especially when her sweet moan echoes in the air.
I deny myself a lot of things. My life as a soldier and my eye for investments instilled discipline within me through the years. But I know what Raven needs—and I find that no matter how hard I try to fight what I feel, I can’t deny her this.
“You can moan all you want,” I whisper in her ear. “No one’s going to hear you here. And I’ve never done this before.”
Her breath hitches when I grind a few more times, the friction turning up a notch. Then, because I’m too tempted to jerk her panties to the side and plunge into her, I return her on top of my thigh and use that to rub against her. She whimpers in protest when I lift her too far, then gasps when my finger slides into the most exquisite heat there is.
“Beautiful. So tight.”
And so wet already.
She shudders. “You said you had one rule. Not to sleep with clients.”
“I’m not sleeping with you again.” It feels like a lie, but it’s the truth—at least, it is in this moment. “But I’m going to make you come, Raven.”
Her eyes widen. The amber darkens as I slide another finger in, then begin to thrust them in and out of her. Not satisfied, I pluck her waist again.
“Christian?”
“Wrap your legs around me.”
She doesn’t hesitate, those smooth legs locking in and allowing me to bring her higher until her chest is level with my mouth. I tug her bra down completely and close my lips over a nipple, groaning at how stiff it is—and no, I’m sure it’s not from the cold. I slide my hand down her ass to squeeze it, then slide that same hand in between us.
“Loosen your legs, sweetheart, just a bit…yes, that’s a good girl.”
Then my fingers are back inside her and resuming the rhythm I started earlier.
There are no words between us, just the sounds of her pleasure and my occasional groans. I know she’s close when her body rocks like mad against my fingers, riding them to seek out what she needs. Feeling my control starting to slip, I thumb her until I find her clit, then flick that spot repeatedly—and I’m rewarded for it as she rockets into her climax, only one word coming out of her mouth when she does.
“Christian.”
It’s unnerving. It’s so fucking hot, and I can only kiss her to alleviate the almost-blinding need to damn it all to hell and take her right here. But I stay rigid in my spot, only giving in to the way her tongue pulls against mine and our bodies mold together.
“That’s it, baby. Ride it out.”
When she comes down from her high, I’m still hard, but there’s a sense of satisfaction—and yes, smugness—that I’m the one who made her lose control like this. The one who made her let go of her inhibitions.
And the one who made her stop thinking about her past enough to enjoy herself here.
But it’s also up to me not to form attachments and set limitations.
“Good?”
Her gaze locks into mine as she nods. “Yes.”
“Good.” I kiss her again, savoring every second of her addictive taste, then reluctantly pull away when it intensifies too quickly. “Let’s go back. Before someone else decides to take a night dip here, too.”
I made my bed with my rule.
Now I have to lie in it.