17. Christian
One punch isn’t enough for the fury I feel and the image of Raven in my mind, trapped and helpless. So, I land in another punch, then stop there when blood spurts from the man’s nose. Still feeling the fury running in my veins, I grab his shirt next and drag him up, then flatten him against the wall with a raging force.
Sam coughs and stutters.
“What—”
“You’re trespassing on my property.” I push him harder. “You’re also harassing a person you shouldn’t even be in the same space as, and both counts as a criminal offense and can get you charged.”
I want to say more, including what a fucking piece of scum he is and how I can mess him up so badly that he won’t be able to walk straight ever again. My hands are shaking to act on it. But I’m aware of Raven still here—of the utmost fear on her face—and how I need to deal with it first.
I inhale quietly, needing it to have a semblance of calm in my system. Then I look him in the eye.
“You don’t need to say a word. Not a fucking word. I’m going to detain you until the cops get here.” I let that sink in. “And you will be happy when they get here fast because the longer you stay here, the more I might be tempted to use every connection I have to make sure you rot in jail.”
He’s defiant at first, but every word has his eyes widening until they’re about to bug out. Maybe it’s my grave face or my authoritative tone—or hell, the murderous vibe I’m emitting from my very pores. I don’t care.
All I know is that it works as he pales, no longer looking like the hotshot asshole he did a minute ago. I know I’ve scared him with my threat and he believes it, but I keep him where he is.
Then I turn to Raven.
“Raven, you can press charges now.”
I hate that I have to put her on the spot like this, but this is necessary, too. I implore her with my eyes to say yes, already anticipating the answer in my bones. But she gives me a different one.
“No. I just want him out of here.”
Disbelief runs through me. Then, understanding that she’s barely holding herself together comes in, and it’s all I can take not to cross the distance between us. But I don’t let any of my emotions show as I return my attention to the guy.
“You heard her. You’re a lucky bastard.”
He’s frustrated but still pale…and defeated. I know when men aren’t cowed and when they don’t think it’s worth it, and this guy has already decided that Raven isn’t worth it. It should leave me with a sense of satisfaction, but all I feel is my fury and the hollow pit in my stomach that he decided this after making her go through hell.
I call the cops, and it’s a good thing that two come quickly and make the arrest right away. They’re rookie cops, so I call the town sheriff, too, briefing him about the incident and getting his promise that he’ll be waiting at the police station. It’s a short call since he already knows what my assignment is, a decision I made from the start and is now paying off.
It means that Sam will be taken care of, even if I’m not directly involved.
After they leave, I head over toward Raven, who’s still frozen in place where the asshole left her. My heart aches, already anticipating injuries, but the relief is stark when I check her and she’s physically fine. Mentally, though…
“Do you want to visit the town doctor?”
She shakes her head and doesn’t say a word.
“Do you want me to go with them?”
Another shake of her head, but this time, her hand trembles as it reaches for my shirt, as if she wants to keep me there. Her other hand does, too, and then the rest of her body until she’s one quaking force. I recognize the look of a traumatized person when I see it.
And I’ve never felt more helpless in my life.
But I know she needs me to be strong, so I gather her in my arms until I can at least absorb some of her shaking. I stay there, quiet and still, until she finally gives in and melts against me. It’s a sign of trust that I will always cherish.
It’s also one that blows my mind, considering it’s me out of all people that she trusts.
We stay there like that, just holding each other until I feel her knees wobbling. I lift her and carry her to the couch, then sit her on my lap so she can be more comfortable. Again, we stay just like that, basking in the silence that’s safe now.
But I know it’s a temporary safety, at least in her mind. I know that him entering the space she considered safe will plague her for a while, and she’ll be looking around every corner with doubt. She won’t sleep well and it’ll take its toll on her.
“Do you want to visit San Diego? Your parents? Or come with me to visit my agency in Coronado?”
It’s a spontaneous thought, one that pops up with my other thoughts when I consider the repercussions of staying here while the incident is still fresh. I don’t expect it to go anywhere except more silence from her.
But again, Raven surprises me when she clings tighter and finally responds.
“Yes. Let’s do that.”
* * *
I get a call from the sheriff and it’s not a good one.
“Shit, Christian. He posted bail. I had an emergency with an altercation between my father and father-in-law, so another cop handled the process with Sam. I didn’t think he would post bail tonight and didn’t brief anyone about his special case. I tried to track him down as soon as I found out, but he already skipped town. I’m sorry about this. I can have my men keep tracking him out of town…”
Curses ring in my head, regretting my decision to stay here. But I can’t regret it fully, not when it’s Raven who asked me to stay. I work on keeping calm and shake my head before I remember we’re on a phone call.
“No. I’ll call others to keep track of him. I’ve already set one of my agents to look for the hacker who helped him.”
“Are you sure? This is my fault. I already alerted the Nashville authorities to be on the lookout. But if he comes back to Sweet Haven…”
“You’ll handle it yourself now, I know. Thanks, Chuck.”
“No problem. I’ll brief all my men about the situation now, but this should never have happened…”
It shouldn’t have, but there’s not much I can do.
“It’s fine. Do what you need to do within your regulations. And keep me in the loop. I’ll make some calls.”
We hang up and I get busy.
I call my connections. I call the one in Nashville, asking my favor, then call everyone I know in every city where I think he might head. The bastard might think he’s home-free, especially since he was able to roam freely outside of California, but I’m going to make sure he has nowhere to run this time.
My last call is to an ex-soldier in San Francisco, who I know has connections to the cops there. As soon as I explain the situation, Jason is amenable.
“I’m on it, man. Don’t worry. We’ll keep watch over this bastard and close in on him. He’ll regret ever stepping back here.”
I thank him. It’s not the perfect solution and not what I want, but it’ll have to do. It’s difficult, but I know tightening the noose around his neck includes letting someone else deal with him—and it’s better that it’s someone else, otherwise my violent side might not be able to hold back.
As soon as we hang up, I check in on Raven, who’s at her corner nook and listlessly staring out the window. She glances at my approach, her face still shadowed.
“Raven…”
As if reading my mind, she shakes her head. “No. I’m not pressing charges.”
“Why not?”
She’s silent before she leaves her corner and walks over toward me. She meets my gaze, so I take her hand.
“I want to understand, Raven. Help me understand.”
She hesitates, but I can see her gathering her courage before she speaks.
“I want him behind bars, especially after what he did.”
I can sense a but coming. “Okay…”
“But I also feel bad for him.” I probably look unconvinced because she squeezes my hand. “Deep down, I know he has a good heart and is just…lost. Troubled. And the look on his face when you threatened him…he was scared, Christian. Truly scared. I know him enough to know that. I’m hoping it scared him enough to leave me alone for good and move on with his life. When he makes bail…”
“He made bail and skipped town.”
Her hand stiffens, but she takes a deep breath and shakes her head. “It doesn’t change my decision. I’ve had enough of harshness, and that includes dealing it out.”
My mind agrees, but my emotions are a different matter. I know victims tend to empathize with their abusers, and I hate that she’s too kind. At the same time, her kindness and compassion are her core characteristics, and I don’t want to take that away from her, either.
She knows how I feel, too, hence those face shadows, but I try to stick to logic as I cup her cheek and rub it with my thumb.
“You’re right. But I’m going to keep track of him. And I’m pressing charges even if you aren’t when my colleagues catch him. He invaded my home.”
“That’s your right, but…I don’t want to talk about it right now. I want you here, present with me.”
It’s a soft, vulnerable plea, one that I can’t help giving in to. Hell, I’ll give her the world if she asks for it, and it’s a revelation that stuns me. But when I notice the conflicted look on her face, I sharply shake my head.
“No. Please don’t blame yourself.”
Raven blinks, astonished.
“For?”
“For answering the door. For doing what you needed to do to stall him. You were supposed to be safe here and you couldn’t have known he’d find you. Don’t blame yourself for any of this or your decisions, just like you did when you panicked in the town fair crowd. Everything’s on him, not you.”
She doesn’t deny it, the guilt of her thoughts vivid on her features.
“But I should have acted faster. Been smarter.”
“You did act smart. And you’re only human.”
I rub her cheek again, an offer of comfort while she leans in against my hand. She steps closer until we’re in a light hug, then looks up.
“You kept me safe.”
My jaw clenches, the memory of what I witnessed still haunting my mind.
“I wish I’d come sooner.”
“You came just when you needed to. You always find the right timing, Christian, and I’m grateful.”
She tiptoes to press her mouth against mine, showing her gratitude. Perhaps it’s also to comfort me, as she can probably read me as well as I can read her—that I’m shaken by the incident, too, and how close I might have been to losing her. I reciprocate the kiss, her warmth another quiet assurance that she’s here, safe with me.
Her ex didn’t get to her, so in a twisted way, she’s right. We were at the right place at the right time.
I don’t know at what point our kiss morphs into something else, but it does. I deepen the contact, my tongue sliding in to find hers and basking in how her tongue fits in just right. When her breath hitches, I devour her, drowning in her taste.
A second later, she’s gasping when I reach for her butt. But she’s ready, too, her legs wrapping around me as soon as I lift her. We’re pressed so tightly against each other that I know there’s no hiding my cock, already so hard for her since that first kiss.
“We shouldn’t be doing this, baby. I shouldn’t be doing this. You just had a traumatic experience. You need to rest. You need?—”
She kisses the next words out of me and grinds wildly until my blood is roaring in my system. Then she whispers in my ear.
“I need you. I need you, Christian.”
My God. How can anyone expect me to back off now?
It’s like every resolve I have to end this turns into water trickling out of my palm. The thing is, maybe I need her, too, as much as she needs me at this moment. I’m convinced of it when I lower her to the bed, my mouth trailing down every bare inch I can find until I remove her dress and expose even more skin.
It’s delicious. She’s delicious, the only thing I want in my mouth and against my body.
Raven gasps, moans, and cries out her pleasure, throwing all uncertainty out the window that she wants nothing but this. When she arches against me and her fingers run all over my abs, I groan in response, my cock so hard and throbbing.
“Christian, you’re wearing too many clothes.”
I chuckle at her complaint, then drown in more kisses that have turned desperate. She gets my clothes off in no time and is holding onto my cock, which turns me into a mess of pleas and more groans of her name. Needing to anchor myself first, I lower my head in between her legs and let my lips and tongue do their work.
She’s delicious here, too, heaven on earth in a pink package. She’s perfection with every sound she makes as I lick and suck, then use my fingers inside her while she grips my hair. Then she tugs harder.
“Christian, I’m close.”
“I know. Come for me, baby?—”
“No. Not yet.” Her forceful response jars me as I stare. Then my eyes lock into her burning ones. “I want you inside me when I do.”
Fuck. How did it turn this hot so quickly?
I open my mouth to protest that I can make her come again, but she tugs me even more forcefully until I’m on top, then strokes my cock with so much conviction that I’m nothing but a helpless man against her temptation. I shudder, giving myself some time to ride her hand, loving the way she loves doing this.
When it’s me who’s close, I gently remove her hand and position my cock at her entrance before I remember something and curse.
“Shit. The condom is in my room?—”
Hands grip my shoulders before I can move away.
“I’m clean. And I’m on the pill.”
I go still, awareness seeping in at what she’s saying. I grit my teeth, the anticipation of what’s to come threatening to kill me already.
“I’m clean, too.” My voice is rough. My breathing is erratic. “Are you sure?”
She nods, then kisses me again.
“I trust you.”
Damn it.
That trust takes us to the next step, my cock sliding inside her with no more protest. Without the condom, it’s double the pleasure, her bare tightness and wetness surrounding me like velvet heat. I nearly die from the intensity of it, but I hold on, letting myself adjust to how good it feels—and how much more intimate it is.
When we’re both ready, I pull back, then thrust back in, starting a rhythm that’s become a habit but also feels brand new every single time. She wriggles to accommodate me, then actively participates in it, too, as she rocks her hips back and ignites the most unbearable, delicious friction.
Every time I’m inside her, I can’t believe how much of a lucky bastard I am, but those thoughts vanish as I can only focus on how good it feels. Her moans are music to my ears, while her nails cling tighter on my back. Her restlessness incites our tempo until slow strokes become fast, and everything’s a blur of heightened touch and sounds.
Needing to be deeper inside her, I roll onto my back and sit her up, and I’m rewarded when she practically bounces on my lap. I kiss her harder and suck on her tongue, gripping her hips to steady her before I lose it. When I catch sight of her nipples, I can’t help but take one in my mouth, adding another layer to her already restless state.
She cries out, and it’s the most beautiful sound ever.
“Oh, my God. Oh, God, Christian…just like that…”
Fuck. She’s more than beautiful. She’s perfect.
“Yes, baby. Moan for me. I love it when you moan like that.”
She moans again and again. She keeps me on edge, but she doesn’t stay there for long as one flick of her clit with my thumb sends her hurtling into a climax that I know is earth-shattering for her. Raven throws her head back as she rides it, then rides me, chasing it to the very end.
So do I.
And when I finally reach that pinnacle and spill inside her, I almost shout words that feel sacred and frightening at the same time.
I love you.
But I don’t say it.