Chapter 10 #2
“Nope. Definitely not nothing. And Rafe realized he needed backup. So he called a friend of ours from back when we served—Cole Mitchell, who founded Blade and Arrow Security. Cole’s team was busy with other jobs, as was the Texas team.
But Cole had been thinking about starting a third branch and I guess he thought this would be a good test run, of sorts. ”
“So he called you?”
“Yes.” Webb smiles again. “He knew I’d been feeling restless. Missing being part of a team. So he asked if I’d want to come help in Portland. I said yes, and here I am.”
“What about Indy? And Ace and Tyler?”
“As soon as Eden told Indy what was going on, he came right away. Pissed that he didn’t know she was in trouble, but determined to help. Ace had been working on Texas as an unexploded ordnance tech since he left the Army, but, like me, he missed being part of a team. And Tyler…”
Trailing off, Webb sighs. “Tyler lost his wife a few years ago. After that, he isolated himself. Not that I blame him. I can’t even imagine—” His fingers tighten around mine.
Then he drags my stool closer, so our legs are touching.
“Cole thought it would be good for Tyler to come out here. Give him a reason to get out in the world again.”
My nose prickles as I think about kind, quiet Tyler going through something so terrible. And I saw the glint of black carbon from his prosthetic leg the other night as it peeked out from below the hem of his jeans. To lose his leg and his wife? It really puts what I’m dealing with in perspective.
“Is he doing better now?” I ask. “Tyler?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Webb exhales. Then he glances around the kitchen, a surprisingly cozy space with plants hanging in front of the windows and colorful towels draped over the oven handle.
He notices me looking at the plants and says with a smile, “My mom bought them the last time she visited. According to her, they’re impossible to kill. ”
“Oh?” I have a self-admitted black thumb, but love the look of plants, so if there’s a plant I can’t manage to kill…
“Not really.” With a chuckle, he adds, “I’ve replaced them three times. I’m not sure there’s a plant out there I can’t kill.”
Feeling lighter than I did just minutes before, I reply brightly, “Me too. I have a terrible black thumb.”
Webb gazes at me, an unreadable emotion working in his eyes. Then he presses his thumb to mine and says, “Sounds like we’re a pretty good match, then.”
I find myself smiling back at him. “Yeah. It sounds like we are.”
He looks at me for another long moment. “So. Are you hungry? I haven’t been shopping in a few days, but I have stuff to make sandwiches, pasta… Or I might have the ingredients for a pizza.”
“You make pizza?”
“I’m no chef,” he replies with a smile, “but I’ve been told it’s decent.”
Since I haven’t eaten since breakfast, and it’s now nearly evening, I should be hungry. But my stomach hasn’t received the message, because it’s still squinched into a little knot. And when I think about eating, it gives an indignant lurch, sending a message loud and clear—nope, not now.
“Maybe later,” I hedge. “I guess I’m not that hungry yet.”
Webb’s lips press into an unhappy line. “You really should—” He stops. “You just tell me when you’re ready.” He thinks another second before saying, “I should have asked before. Did you have any questions that weren’t answered in the meeting?”
My stomach lurches again, but for a different reason.
“Um. I don’t think so. At least, I think I got the gist of things.
Surveillance on Ken, checking my apartment to see if he left any clues that would prove he broke in, hopefully hacking his computer and deleting the videos…
Oh, and protecting me in case Ken totally loses his mind and comes after me. Is that everything?”
By the end, my voice is high-pitched and wobbly. “Sorry,” I add, much more quietly. “I guess I’m still a little stressed.”
“That’s okay, Noelle.” Webb hops off the stool and holds out his hand. “I have an idea. Since you’re not hungry, there’s something else we could do.”
I take his hand. “Like what? A movie?”
As we head back towards the living room, he replies, “We can if you want. But I had a different idea. Something that helped me a lot when I was going through a tough time.”
The thought of Webb struggling brings a tightness to my chest. “Webb. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It happens.” He shrugs. “And I had it a lot easier than most.”
Instead of heading to the couch, Webb turns down the hallway. He opens the first door on the right to reveal a tidy home office, complete with a modern desk, two matching bookcases, and a battered trunk that looks like it might have been from his early days in the Army.
He guides me to the computer desk, pulls out the chair, and waits. Rather than standing there like a stubborn jerk, I sit right away this time. “What do you want to show me on the computer?”
Webb leans over me, his biceps brushing my cheek. He smells of soap and lemon and this indescribable scent that makes me want to bite him. Which I don’t. But I compromise by rubbing my cheek on his arm, just for a second.
His hand strokes down my hair. “Noelle.” Then he kisses the top of my head. “You really are…”
“What?”
He hesitates. “Special. You’re really special.”
Awww. If I weren’t sitting, I’d be a puddle on the floor.
“Anyway,” he continues as he clicks the mouse. “There’s a game I want to show you. Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?”
I turn my attention to the screen, where a montage of fantasy characters moves across it. “Yeah. One of the lighting guys at my last job used to play. He’d talk about it sometimes. Something about a Blood Elf?”
Webb makes a pshhh sound. “Forget Blood Elves. Trolls are where it’s at.”
“Oh?” I’m intrigued by this new side of Webb I’m seeing. “Why?”
“Because that’s what I play,” he replies with a grin. He gives the mouse a few more clicks, then moves my hand to it. “Not that you have to make a Troll character. You can make whatever you want.”
I look up at him. “You want me to play World of Warcraft?”
“We’ll both play,” he clarifies. “I have a laptop, too. So we can get you set up with a character, then I’ll help run you through some starting zones.
” He hesitates, and that vulnerable look comes back to his eyes.
“Unless you don’t want to. It’s fine if you don’t.
I just thought… When I left the Army, I had some hard nights.
A friend of mine—Gage, he was a Night Stalker, but now he’s living out in Vermont—suggested it to me.
He said it might be a good way to get my mind off things. ”
“And was it?”
“Yeah. It actually was.”
With me sitting and him standing, I have to crane my head to look up at him. Which I don’t really like. So I get up and pat the seat for him to sit down. “Sit,” I say with a tiny smirk. Once he does, I sit crossways on his lap. “This is better. Now I can see you.”
He smiles. Kisses my cheek. “I agree. This is better.”
With Webb’s warm strength surrounding me, I can feel more of the day’s tension slipping away. I lean my head on his shoulder and ask, “Why did you need to be distracted? Do you mind telling me?”
His hand, which was stroking my arm, stills. “I don’t want to make this about me right now, Noelle. You’re the important one.”
“But if it’s something that affected you, something that bothers you, I’d like to know. If you’re willing—”
“I’ll tell you anything.” He kisses my head again. Then he takes another deep breath. “It’s not… it’s not like what Indy and Tyler went through. But it upset me, just the same.”
“What?”
After a long pause, he says, “It wasn’t long before I separated from the Army.
It was one of the reasons I did, actually.
” Another beat passes, and then, “I was supposed to be piloting a rescue op. An exfil, we called them. I can’t talk about the details, but basically, we were supposed to be rescuing a team of Green Berets.
But right before we were supposed to leave, I got sick. Food poisoning.”
He shakes his head. “So damn ironic. I never got sick, and the one time… I couldn’t go. I wanted to, but with me being so sick, it would have been risky. So one of my buddies, Adam, volunteered to go instead.”
A heavy feeling expands inside me. “And?”
“The helo was shot down. Adam and the other pilot, Vince, were killed. The Green Berets they’d rescued? Four of them died, too.”
“God, Webb.” I’m sick at the thought of how close he came to dying. “I’m sorry.”
His blue eyes turn to mine. “I felt guilty. Really fucking guilty. Adam was married and had a kid on the way. Vince had just gotten married. The GBs; they had families. Girlfriends. Wives. And then… there was me. This single guy who bailed on his team.”
“Webb.”
“I kept wondering why they died and not me. When they had so much to live for—”
“Webb Anders.” I make my tone stern. “Don’t you say that. Just because you weren’t married doesn’t mean your life meant any less. And you had no reason to feel guilty. You were sick. That can’t be helped.”
“Still,” he protests. “Maybe if I’d been flying, it would have ended differently.”
“Or maybe you wouldn’t be here.” Tears sting my eyes. “And that would be horrible.”
“Sweetheart. Don’t cry. Please. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m fine. Really. I just don’t want you thinking… You’re important, Webb. To your family, your friends… and to me. And I bet Adam and Vince wouldn’t want you feeling guilty.”
Webb lets out a rueful laugh. “No, they wouldn’t.
They’d both kick my ass if they heard me say something like that.
” He kisses my cheek. “It’s gotten better since then.
I’ve come to terms with it, mostly. But that’s why I started playing.
I don’t get online often anymore, but I still enjoy it. And I thought you might, too.”
My heart swells with a joy I would have thought impossible a few hours ago. “I think it sounds like fun. And I’d love to play World of Warcraft with you.”
He cups my cheek as he looks at me, emotion darkening his blue eyes to slate. “I’d really love that, too.”