Chapter 14
NOELLE
I never thought I’d feel relief over someone’s death.
Before all of this, I couldn’t have imagined it.
Not just relieved, but like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. The tension that’s been banded around my chest for months is gone, and I finally feel like I can take a full breath again.
It kind of reminds me of when my father got sick. The stress was so all-encompassing; I didn’t realize just how bad it had gotten until it was gone. But when my dad died, the stress shifted to an aching sadness that still comes back at unexpected moments.
Knowing that Ken’s dead, though?
Part of me thinks I shouldn’t be happy about it. That it’s wrong to feel that way.
Then I remember all the horrible things he did.
I think about the recordings Webb and his friends found hidden on a collection of USB drives in Ken’s apartment, chronicling years of watching other women he worked with.
I think about the folder he had in his office, overflowing with photos of me.
And my mind goes to that camera he hid in my bathroom—the one tucked above the mirror with a clear view of my shower.
A shudder ripples through me. Goosebumps rise on my arms.
It’s still hard to wrap my mind around the extent of his obsession. And the chilling evidence of how far Ken was willing to go.
Because Webb didn’t just find photos and videos in Ken’s apartment.
He found pages of notes outlining just how Ken would get back at me for my perceived betrayal.
He was going to ramp up the harassment to include posting the more explicit videos online.
There were meticulous notes about my work schedule, my daily routine, and details about my new apartment in Williston.
And the worst of all—an unregistered gun tucked in the very back of his closet.
Maybe it was for protection. I hope it was. But I can’t help wondering if he meant to use it on me.
That’s why, though I was brought up to believe it’s intrinsically wrong to be glad someone’s dead, I can’t help being happy about it.
Am I a bad person for feeling that way? Webb says no.
When I brought it up last night, he reassured me that it’s completely natural.
“You’re not celebrating a tragic death,” he said.
“You’re relieved that the man who hurt you is gone.
It’s completely different. And you have nothing to feel bad about. ”
It’s not that I don’t believe Webb. But I wish my dad was around to reassure me, too.
Exhaling heavily, I focus on squishing the unpleasant thoughts into a tiny box in the back of my head. Then I slam the metaphorical box shut, lock it, and wrap a few sturdy chains around it for good measure.
There’s no point in dwelling on it, I remind myself.
The best thing is to move on. Think about all the great things in store, like going back to my normal life again and exploring this amazing connection between me and Webb.
Without the threat of Ken hanging over me, we can go on regular dates again.
I can help Webb with his quest of trying the best craft beers in the Pacific Northwest. And maybe we can even fly out to New York to visit Jaz.
Warmth expands inside me, chasing away my chill. I give my arms a quick rub to make the goosebumps go away. Then I turn my attention back to the peppers I’m chopping for omelettes as I guide my thoughts towards more pleasant things.
Like spending the day with Webb. After two days packed with meetings and interviews with the police—once Ken’s body was discovered and proof of his crimes came out, suddenly the investigators were much more interested in what I had to say—today I’m finally getting a break.
Obviously, I was careful not to mention Blade and Arrow’s part in the investigation, beyond protecting me and setting up security at my apartment.
I doubt the authorities would be thrilled to hear about Webb and his teammates breaking into Ken’s apartment, and I would never do anything to get them in trouble.
“It’s not that I want you to lie,” Webb explained before my first interview with the police. “I don’t want you doing anything you’re uncomfortable with. But—”
I interrupted him. “I’m not uncomfortable. At all. What you guys did… I don’t care if some of it wasn’t technically legal. I tried doing it the official way. It didn’t work. You and your friends believed in me. And I believe in what you guys do.”
It’s the truth. I trust Webb, and by extension, his team. And if they need to break the law sometimes in order to protect innocent people, I’m in favor of it.
With a final chop, I finish dicing the peppers and push them to the side of the cutting board. Then I grab a handful of washed mushrooms drying on a paper towel and move them in front of me. Just as I’m about to start slicing, a softly cleared throat sounds from the entrance to the kitchen.
I set the knife down and turn around, smiling at Webb as soon as I see him. “You’re up.”
He grins at me as he crosses the kitchen. “I’m up.” Pulling me into his arms, he kisses me tenderly, his breath tasting of fresh mint. His scent wraps around me, easing some of my lingering tension.
Once the kiss ends, I lean into his body and nuzzle his neck. His lips press to the top of my head. We just stand like this for at least a minute, just enjoying the nearness of each other.
“Noelle,” Webb murmurs. “How are you more beautiful each time I see you?”
My heart squeezes as emotion surges through me, so intense it’s almost too much to take.
The words are right there, a breath away from escaping.
I love you.
I don’t care that it hasn’t been that long. I just love you.
But I can’t make the words come out. Not because I don’t mean them. But there’s an insecure part of me that’s scared of rejection. A part that’s terrified of doing anything to ruin this incredible thing we have going.
Didn’t you promise to be honest with him? that little voice of logic pipes up. When you told him about Ken, didn’t you say you’d tell him if something was bothering you? Scaring you? How is this different?
Because I’m not in danger this time, I silently argue. And I’ll tell him. Maybe just not now.
Tipping my head to look up at Webb, I scan his face before replying. His hair is still tousled from sleep, and he has a tiny crease on his left cheek. His eyes are more sky blue than sapphire in the morning sun, and faint stubble shadows his cheeks and jaw.
“You look pretty handsome yourself,” I tell him. “But what are you doing up? I thought you weren’t going to the gym today.”
That was part of our agreed-upon day of relaxation.
No workouts, no meetings, no leaving the apartment unless the weather’s nice and we decide to go for a walk around the property.
Today is dedicated to a lazy morning, followed by an even lazier afternoon lounging in front of the TV, a few hours in the evening playing World of Warcraft with Webb’s friends, and finally, another picnic on the living room floor, sex included.
“I’m not going to work out,” he replies. “I heard you get up. And I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Everything’s fine.” I gesture at the cutting board. “I was up, so I thought I’d make breakfast.”
He gives me a slow once-over, his gaze lingering on my face. “Are you sure? I heard you tossing and turning last night.”
“I woke up a few times,” I admit. “But it wasn’t too bad.”
Webb strokes my cheek. Concern darkens his eyes. “Thinking about that ass—” He stops. His jaw tightens. Then he puffs out a breath. “If there’s anything you want to talk about, Noelle, I’m here for you. You know that, right?”
“I know.” And because I really do want to stick by my promise, I add, “I did think about him. About the other women he recorded. And… I was feeling a little guilty.”
“Don’t feel guilty,” Webb replies quickly. “Remember what I said.”
I nod. “I know. And you’re right. I think it’ll just take a little while before I fully accept it.”
“That’s fair,” he agrees. “But if you need me to remind you again—”
Stretching up on my toes, I give him a quick kiss. “I’ll let you know. I promise.” Then I ask one of the questions that kept me up last night. “What’s going to happen since Ken is dead? There can’t be a trial, I assume. But all those women, and the videos...”
Webb takes my hand and leads me around the kitchen island, then sits me on one of the stools. “It’ll be made public, what he did. That’s why we left the USB drives, the cameras, the SD cards, the burner phones… So the police can’t ignore the truth of it. Everyone will know what Donaldson did.”
“And the videos? What about them?”
After a brief hesitation, Webb says, “After allowing enough time to conduct their investigation, Tyler’s going to corrupt the files. They won’t be accessible. So even if someone in the department wanted to view them, they wouldn’t be able to. They’ll be as good as gone.”
One of the last weights I’ve been carrying slips away. I know I’ll never completely escape the spectre of Ken, of his lies and the consequences they brought. But knowing those awful videos of me will be gone… It’s such a relief.
“Thank you,” I whisper, my chest so full it’s impossible to speak louder. “For everything.”
Webb’s expression softens. “Noelle. You don’t need to thank me. I’d do anything for you. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll make it happen.”
I glance down at his mesh shorts, admiring the drape of them over his thighs and the not insignificant bulge between them. Desire throbs, and suddenly breakfast seems much less urgent than it did ten minutes ago. “Well,” I start, my voice taking on a raspy purr, “maybe—”
From the end of the island, my phone lights up with an incoming text.
Even though I know it can’t be Ken, my stomach still jolts. My lungs constrict.
Features creasing with understanding, Webb rubs my arm reassuringly. “Do you want me to look?”
“No, it’s okay.” I lean over to grab it. “It’s fine. No reason to be scared of my phone anymore.”