Chapter 14 #2
My heart twists at the sorrow in her eyes.
And I wish like anything I could take at least some of the pain away.
But Tyler still hasn’t found anything to indicate that Malik might still be alive, even after over a week of looking.
I knew it wouldn’t be a quick process—trying to get intel from halfway across the world, and in enemy territory, no less, isn’t an easy thing.
But shit, I wish I had some good news for her after the shitstorm of bad she’s had recently.
Once Yara’s done, I kiss her and ask softly, “You doing okay?”
“Yeah.” She snuggles closer, resting her head on my shoulder. “I miss them,” she whispers, “but I think they’d all be happy to see me here.” Her gaze meets mine. The emotion in them makes my heart twist. “They’d like you, you know.”
“Who would?” I whisper back.
Yara kisses me back. “My parents. I wish you could have met them.”
That protective feeling sweeps over me again. The feeling of wanting to bundle Yara up and carry her with me everywhere. To always be there to protect her.
Three words burst to life; silent, but there just the same.
I love you.
Could I, though? After only a month or so of dating? Isn’t that far too soon?
Then again, didn’t Webb tell me he started falling for Noelle the first time he met her?
Plus, I’ve known Yara for years. It’s not like she’s some stranger I’m still learning about.
I know her history. Her interests. What makes her laugh, and what makes her sad.
I know about the experiments she used to do as a kid, and how her parents always supported her, no matter how much trouble she caused.
I know how she used to watch old episodes of Voltron with her dad, and that the Voltron figure he gave her is her most prized possession.
And now I know what it’s like to kiss her. To hold her. To fall asleep with her tucked into my arms. I know that when I wake up with her warm body snuggled against me and her soft hair tickling my chin, it’s the best feeling in the entire world.
I know I’d do anything to protect her. Anything to make her happy.
So, if I look at it that way, is it really so strange that I could be falling in love with her?
I just wish I knew for certain that I’m good enough for her.
“Okay,” Rafe says, breaking into my thoughts once again. “I want to thank everyone for sharing. If we could just have a moment of silence…”
As he trails off, everyone in the room goes silent. And in that silence, we take a moment to remember the people we loved. The people who might not be physically here, but still live on in our memories.
I remember my dad, and the memories we shared. Helping him with his vintage cars, handing him tools with a grease-stained hand, eagerly listening and watching everything he did.
I remember the anticipation I’d feel whenever he was due to come back from another deployment, and the relief that would come over me as soon as he walked through the door.
I remember thinking how brave he was. About how much I wanted to be just like him.
And I remember those last days with him, standing by his side in the hospital, feeling so damn guilty I hadn’t gotten there sooner. Somehow, despite the pain he was in, he knew. And he used his last words to tell me how proud he was of me.
“It’s the… greatest honor… of my life,” he wheezed, pulling down his oxygen mask so I could hear him. “Having you… for a son.”
Long-sworn-off tears prickle behind my eyes.
Somehow sensing my surge of emotion, Yara takes my hand with her uninjured one and gives it a gentle squeeze. I kiss her head, breathing in her vanilla scent and letting her closeness comfort me.
Rafe clears his throat again, signaling the end of the silence. His jaw works as he collects himself. Then he exhales heavily and says, “Well. That was…”
“It was lovely,” Eden offers. “It’s hard to think about the people we’ve lost, but it’s nice, too. Remembering them. Imagining them looking down on us, being so proud…” She pauses, tearing up.
Rafe wraps his arm around her. “They would all be proud, I think.”
Would my dad, though? I wonder. Would he be proud if he knew how badly I failed?
“So,” Rafe continues, “there’s just one more thing I wanted to mention. It’s a surprise, but a very, very welcome one.” He glances at Eden. “Do you want to say it? Or me?”
A smile brightens her face. “You can.”
He gives her a soft smile in return. “Okay.” Turning to the rest of us, he grins. “We’re having a baby. He—”
“Or she,” Bea interjects.
“Or she,” Rafe agrees. His hand splays over Eden’s stomach. “He or she is seven weeks along. It’s still early, but we wanted—”
Eden’s mom shrieks. “You’re pregnant?” She leaps up from her seat and races over to Rafe and Eden, flinging her arms around both of them. “I’m going to be a grandma! Oh, you two, I’m so excited!”
Indy beams at Eden. “That’s great news, Eeenie. I can’t wait to be an uncle.” Then he gives Rafe a quick chin lift before adding with a smirk, “You ready if it’s a girl?”
Rafe chuckles. “Sure. She won’t be allowed to date, that’s all.”
“Or go anywhere without security?” Tyler asks, chuckling.
“Possibly,” Rafe concedes. “But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
“Congrats, you guys,” I call over. Lifting my glass, I nod at both of them. “I’m really happy for you.”
As everyone else joins in with their congratulations, my attention moves to Yara again. She’s smiling, enjoying this special moment, her cheeks pink with pleasure and her eyes sparkling.
I’ve never thought about having kids before, aside from brief flickers of thought whenever someone I know has a baby, and I always toss aside the idea as something that’s not for me.
But with Yara, maybe it could be.
With Yara, maybe I want all the things I didn’t think I wanted before.
An apartment that feels like home, instead of just a place to live.
A lifetime of special moments like this.
A wife to protect with my life.
And maybe even a family of our own one day, whether it’s one with pets or children.
“I’m so glad you asked me to come,” Yara says to me. “This is even better than I imagined.”
My heart swells.
“Yeah,” I reply. “I’m so glad you came, too.”