Chapter 16 #3
And there goes my heart, falling all the way to the basement. “But?” My voice quivers. “What?”
“There are things I’ve done. Things you might not like. And you might feel differently about me once you know.”
I can’t imagine anything that would change my mind about Indy.
But I also know how self-doubt can work deep. And how hard it is to get rid of it.
So I squeeze his hands and say, “Tell me.”
Almost a minute goes by before Indy speaks.
“When we caught Davis, when we—I—interrogated him, it wasn’t pretty.
I threatened him. I hurt him. I held a gun to his head and threatened to shoot him, Bea.
And honestly—” His jaw tightens. “I wanted to kill him. If we didn’t need more information, I would have. ”
“Indy. That’s not horrible. He was horrible. If you had to intimidate him—”
“I would have killed him, Bea. I wanted to. Doesn’t that scare you?”
“No.” I hold his gaze. “I know you had to kill people in the Army. Just like my dad did. It doesn’t seem any different to me. Davis is a bad man. And if you…”
“I did kill a man,” he interrupts. “Not in the Army. After.”
He watches me carefully, probably expecting me to run off screaming. But I won’t. I wouldn’t. Because I know Indy. And if he killed someone, I know it was for good reason. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
“Want to? No. Because I’m afraid you won’t want to be with me anymore. But I need to. Because you should know everything before deciding if you want to be with me.”
My heart squeezes. “Okay.”
After another long pause, he says, “Three years ago, Eden was raped. Her attacker was never caught. I didn’t know…
she never told me. I was overseas, and then my arm…
” Misery twists his features. “She was too afraid of upsetting me. Her big brother. I was supposed to protect her, but I let her down.”
Oh.
My heart hurts for Eden and Indy.
“When I came here to help Eden, she finally told me. Because she was afraid the man who attacked her was responsible. And shit…” He closes his eyes momentarily. “I couldn’t believe it. My little sister.”
I move closer to Indy and wrap my arm around his side. “I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t him. The people who were trying to hurt Eden, I mean. But after—she never saw him. But she heard him. His voice. It was distinctive. She said she never forgot it.”
I thread my fingers between his. “She heard him?”
He nods. “She did. At her work, of all places. Eden panicked. Of course. She called Rafe, who was right outside. He got in there, grabbed the guy… But he didn’t call the police. Because he wanted to deal with it himself.”
Suddenly, it all makes sense.
“But Rafe didn’t deal with him, did he?”
Indy lifts his chin. Anger flares hot in his eyes.
“No. I wanted to be the one who did it. That fucker raped my sister. He got away with it for years. We looked him up. He was a predator. Eden wasn’t the first, and I’d bet she wasn’t the last. He had money, and he would have kept getting off. Unless…”
“Unless you did something.”
“Yes.” He turns to face me. “I killed him, Bea. And I don’t regret it. At least I didn’t. Until I realized you might not want to be with me because of it.”
Before I can reply, he adds, “It won’t ever come back on me. I made sure of it. But if you—”
“I would never tell anyone. Indy, how could you think—”
“I don’t think you would. But you dedicate your life to helping people, Bea. And knowing I killed someone, not out of duty but vengeance…”
“Stop.” I climb back onto his lap, tucking my legs up on either side of his.
“You are a good man, Indy Garrison. A great man. A hero. You were protecting your sister. You were protecting the women he could have—would have—hurt if you didn’t stop him.
Some men, they’re just evil. And sometimes jail doesn’t work. Sometimes the police can’t do enough.”
“Still.”
“When I was in training, I worked with a woman who’d been beaten so badly by her husband, she had to have her leg amputated. He smashed her bones with a hammer, Indy. Shattered them.”
“Shit.”
“You know what happened to him? He went to jail for three years. Three. Released for good behavior, or maybe the prison was too full, I don’t know why. But he did. And then he went after her again. And the second time… he killed her.”
“Bea.”
I lift my chin as I ask, “Do you think that man deserves mercy? Because I don’t.”
“No. He doesn’t.”
“Right. So in my mind, it’s no different. You aren’t a bad man, Indy. Not even close. And knowing what you did… it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
Hope glimmers in his eyes. “It doesn’t?”
“No. It doesn’t. Because—” I take a deep breath. “I’m falling in love with you, too. And I want to see where this goes. Not with me across the country, but close by. I can look for a job in Portland, find an apartment close to B and A…”
“Bea.” It’s rough. Thick. Indy hugs me to his chest and presses his lips to the top of my head. “I want that, too.”
I snuggle against him. “So we’re going to try this living on the same side of the country thing?”
His hand strokes down my back. “It sounds like we are.”
“So.” I glance over his shoulder in the direction of the bedroom. “I know you’re probably tired. After you eat, maybe we should take a nap? Together?”
Indy leans me back to look into my eyes. His gaze heats. “When you say nap, you mean sex, right?”
My belly tightens. An ache pulses at my core. “Well, it would be the best way to make sure we get some sleep after, don’t you think?”
A smile tugs at his lips. “It would be.”
Then he scoops me into his arms and rises from the couch in one fluid move.
Which—whoa. So sexy.
As he hurries towards the bedroom, he adds, “We can eat later. And I’ll make sure you’re very hungry, Bea. That’s a promise.”