Epilogue
BEA
“Shit, Bea, you feel so damn good.”
Indy lifts me higher and turns me so my back is to the shower wall. Then he leans me against the water-slicked marble and tilts my hips so he can sink even deeper.
My inner walls shudder at the delicious sensation of being filled so completely.
Heat builds at my core, spiraling out to my belly.
Squeezing my legs around Indy’s waist, I hitch myself up even further, so he hits that spot—
My thighs shake. Ecstasy builds; a lit fuse moments from igniting.
Indy pulls out slightly, then plunges deep inside me again.
My head falls back at the surge of pleasure.
My eyes slam shut.
A moment later, I force them open again.
With my eyes closed, I can’t read Indy’s lips. I can’t see him calling me beautiful or saying how much he loves this. And I want to see everything.
It’s the one bad thing about sex in the shower, that I can’t wear my implants. But it’s the only one. And the positives far outweigh the negatives.
In the shower, I can watch the water sluice down Indy’s body, his skin all slick and glistening, with water droplets clinging to the brush of dark hair that covers his chest and tapers down past his stomach.
Shower sex is hot and steamy—literally—and when the cool marble hits my back, it’s the most perfect contradiction.
In the bright light of the bathroom, I can see every line and flat plane of Indy’s muscles, from his ten-pack abs to his flexing biceps.
When we have sex in the shower, I get to fully appreciate how strong Indy is. Holding me up easily, maneuvering my body to hit the very best angles, but always, always making me feel safe.
He wouldn’t drop me. Ever.
“You weigh less than I lift one-handed,” Indy assured me the first time we tried it. “I promise, you’ll be fine.”
I wasn’t worried. My husband hasn’t broken a promise yet.
Something else I love about shower sex? It’s a time for both of us to be vulnerable—me without my implants and Indy without his prosthetic.
But isn’t that what marriage is? Allowing yourself to be vulnerable with the other person? Knowing that they love you despite your flaws, or all the more because of them?
Except I don’t think Indy’s arm is a flaw.
It’s just who he is. Strong, brave, incredible Indy who gave a part of himself to protect our country.
And having to wear implants to hear isn’t a flaw, either.
Like Indy says, it’s made me stronger. My patients know I understand their struggles because I’ve been through them myself.
Indy’s gaze burns into mine, the blue nearly swallowed by black. He waits until he’s certain I’m looking at him before he says, “I love you, Bea. So much.”
Though I can’t hear myself saying it, I reply, “I love you, too.”
Then he raises me up again.
And pulls me down.
He thrusts his hips, plunging deep.
The fire spreads faster inside me.
I clutch his neck, digging my nails into his slick skin.
My inner walls quiver as my body rushes closer to the edge.
To that breathless cliff, with an expanse of ecstasy waiting beneath it.
Indy’s mouth slams down over mine.
Our tongues move together in concert with our bodies.
The fire is right there, burning me from the inside.
And with one last desperate plunge, I explode.
Leaping off the cliff in a burst of fireworks.
My core clenches around him, convulsing in waves of pleasure.
All my muscles lock up.
I cry out Indy’s name.
And like we’re two halves of the same whole, he jumps along with me.
He fills me in hard, jutting pulses. His arms lock around my body, holding me close. His eyes fall shut and the tendons in his neck stand out.
But I keep my eyes open. Because I love seeing my husband like this. So unrestrained. So passionate. So vulnerable.
I’m not sure how much time passes before Indy finally sets me down. Enough time to soften inside me. Enough time for the water to cool from hot to lukewarm. Long enough for my pulse to return to near normal and for the aftershocks to subside.
Once my feet are back on the shower floor, Indy smooths my hair back from my face and kisses me again. “Are you okay?” he asks.
I laugh at his question. He just held me up for what, ten, fifteen minutes while keeping his balance in the water-slicked shower, and he wants to know if I’m okay? When all I had to do was cling to him like an oversized koala?
But that’s a bit much to say. So instead, I just nod. “I’m more than okay,” I tell him. “I’m great.”
He smiles. “Me too.”
Then, he grabs the bottle of shampoo off the ledge and pours a small amount into his hand. Turning me back around, he starts lathering my hair, pausing every few seconds to kiss me somewhere—my shoulder or my neck or my cheek.
He washes my hair like it’s the most fragile silk, carefully rinsing out the shampoo and then conditioning it just as thoroughly.
My body receives the same attention as he strokes the washcloth gently across my skin, lingering on my breasts and between my legs.
Once I’m clean, he washes himself quickly, then shuts the water off and grabs one of the white, fluffy towels hanging outside the shower.
After I’m all dried and wrapped up in one of the luxurious bathrobes the hotel provided for us, I follow Indy out into the bedroom and plop down on the king-sized bed.
Reaching over to the bedside table, I grab my implants while Indy puts on his prosthetic.
As soon as they’re working, I give Indy a thumbs up.
He grins and pulls me into a hug. “Shower sex really is pretty great, isn’t it?”
I smile back at him. “It is.” I think for a second. “Although we’re going to be getting all sweaty soon. So I’m not sure we really needed to shower.”
Indy smirks. “Needed? Maybe not. But I definitely enjoyed it.”
“True.” I reach for my phone to check the time. “I guess we should probably get ready. Since the race starts in a little over an hour. And it’ll take us twenty minutes or so to get there.”
“We probably should,” he agrees. With a mischievous smile, he adds, “I know you don’t want to start the 5K late.”
“No. I don’t want to start late.” I swat his arm playfully. “Since I’m already going to be all the way at the back.”
“Bea, you’re not. You’re going to do just fine. And remember, it’s not a race. It’s just a bunch of people running to raise money for charity.”
“I know. But still.” I’ve tried running back at home at the B and A gym, and all it’s taught me is that some people are natural runners—like Indy and Rafe—and some people aren’t. Like me.
As we both start rummaging through our luggage for our winter running gear, Indy asks, “How are you feeling about this? Really? Being at the hotel is one thing, but actually being in DC, seeing all the familiar spots…”
“It’s okay.” Pausing, I tug my sports bra on, and then my long-sleeved shirt. “It felt a little weird at first, coming back here. Memories and all. But then I reminded myself that I had a lot more good times here than bad. A job I loved, people I liked working with…”
“Do you miss it?”
“I don’t. I love where I live now. Portland is great. And being at B and A is even better. I really enjoy my new job—well, I guess it’s not new anymore. Plus, I still get to see everyone I care about.”
Indy finishes dressing and sits to pull on his sneakers. “You’re not as close to your parents as you used to be. Geographically, I mean.”
“No. But I still get to visit them plenty. And they like coming out to visit.”
“Aidy’s not too far, being down in Sacramento,” he adds thoughtfully. “Philly’s a ways away, but with Fiona traveling for work so much, she’s out on the West Coast quite a bit.”
“Exactly. And I have everyone at B and A. And they’re like family now, too.”
Indy comes over and hugs me. “Yeah, they are.” He glances at his watch. “Forty-five minutes to go. How about we leave now and grab a snack on the way. A protein bar to give you energy. And after—”
“After we’re pigging out at Calliope’s.”
Yes, it’s going to be bittersweet going back there. But I want to go. I want to sit in the booth Jenna and I liked the best. And I want to tell her, silently, that I did take a chance. And it was the best decision I ever made.
Indy stares at me for a few seconds, his smile dimming. But like he usually does, he knows just what I’m thinking. “She would be really proud of you, Bea.”
I sniff at the sudden prickle in my nose. “I hope so.”
He loops his arm around me. “She would be. Just like I am.” After a silent pause, he adds brightly, “Okay. Let’s go do this 5K. And just remember, it’s not finishing first. It’s the fact that you tried.”
“And it’s raising money for veterans,” I add.
“And it’s raising money for veterans,” Indy agrees. “And that’s always a good thing.”
As we leave the hotel room, Indy glances at me and says, “Oh, I almost forgot. Derek asked if we wanted to have dinner before we leave DC. What do you think?”
Ever since the incident in the parking lot last year, Derek and Indy have stayed in touch. Which is really nice. And I think it’s helped Derek, knowing that Indy went through a similar experience and came out stronger on the other side of it.
“I’d love to have dinner with him,” I reply. “But tonight, I was thinking we could stay in? Order room service? And maybe use the scarves later?”
Indy’s face lights up. “You brought them?”
“Of course. We’re staying in one of the nicest hotels in DC. With a bed the size of a small island. What better time?”
“True.” His hand wraps around mine. “And I think room service and a night of sex in a fancy hotel sounds like a great idea.”
“Okay.” Anticipation fizzes, bright and joyful. “I love you. Have I mentioned that lately?”
Indy stops in the middle of the hallway and turns to face me. “You can never tell me too many times. I’ll always love hearing it.”
“Then I love you, Indy Garrison.”
His gaze softens. “And I love you, Beatrix Garrison. With all my heart.”
Then the elevator chimes down the hall, and a cluster of chattering teenagers emerges.
Indy chuckles. “So much for the romantic moment.”
“It’s okay. Later, we can have lots of romance.”
Desire heats his gaze. “Definitely.” As we start walking again, he adds, “Now. Let’s go do this 5K. And don’t worry. I’ll be right there with you.”
My heart squeezes. “You always are.”
Indy gazes at me with love in his eyes. “I always will be.”