Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Blakely loved the peace of the beach. Even with people around, she felt good out here. Pen caught up with her and hooked arms with her.
“The beach is so healing. I love it out here.”
She nodded. “It is.”
“I love the way the sand moves and is different every time I come out here. I mean, I know it’s almost the same, but not exactly the same. Sometimes I just want to come out here with a rake and smooth it all out.”
Willa was on the other side of her and burst out laughing. “Pen, that would take hours.”
“Yes, but I still want to do it. Can you imagine how pretty it would look?”
Willa was still laughing. “You need one of those Zen gardens. You know, the kind where you have rocks and other paths, with white sand everywhere.”
“That would be awesome,” Pen said.
Blakely glanced from one to the other. “I don’t know what you all are talking about.”
Pen whipped out her phone. “Let me look it up and I’ll show you.”
They stopped walking and Pen flipped her phone so Blakely could see. She stared at the images, thinking it was beautiful.
Sadness seeped in and she shook her head. “The more I see, the more I realize I know almost nothing about the world.”
Pen pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry. We don’t want you to feel sad.”
She held onto Pen. She was glad she had friends who were willing to stand by her.
After a moment she stepped back and wiped her eyes.
“It’s okay. I know you aren’t trying to make me feel bad.
I just missed so much. I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with my life, and I have no idea.
You both suggested writing a book, but I don’t know where to start.
One thing I know I can’t do is teach kids.
No way could I ever do that. There are a lot of people who need help, and I want to help in some way, but I really have no clue what I could do. It’s so confusing.”
Willa squeezed her shoulder. “You don’t have to make up your mind right now. I spent years thinking about the future. I had a long time to figure out my life, and I still don’t know what to do. I like my job for now. I just don’t know if that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life.”
Pen shrugged. “I’m still trying to figure it all out. After being rescued, I lost focus. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, but I changed my mind. It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do for a job.”
“I need money.”
Willa nodded. “Yeah, that part of figuring everything out sucks. We can keep talking about it if that helps.”
She nodded. “I’m not sure what actually helps. There are so many unknowns in my life. I’d like something to be settled.”
“Give yourself some space to make decisions. You don’t want to rush this,” Willa said.
“When I was held, I didn’t think I’d ever be free. I had no say in anything in my life for a long time. Then when I came back, I had to make decisions. It was overwhelming.”
Blakely laughed. “The first two years were overwhelming. This is mostly annoying.”
“I can’t imagine how much strength it took to make it through those first two years.”
“There were times I thought about giving up and just going back with him. I knew my life would be hell if I did that, though.”
They walked down to the water line and let the cool water play at their feet. Blakely laughed and ran away then back out to the water. She felt really good, like maybe she really was on the right path now.
She couldn’t wait to talk to Jump about how good she felt. Maybe she would write some stuff down. Maybe that’s how she would write a book.
Late at night, and sometimes early in the morning there were so many thoughts in her brain.
It seemed almost overwhelming at times and writing them down might just help her.
If her thoughts turned into a book, that would be good.
And if they helped her figure out what she wanted to do, that would be even better.
“I’m so glad I came out here with you both today. I feel like I’ve made some progress.”
“Good,” Pen said.
“Now then, how about dinner?” Willa asked. “I’ve worked up an appetite being out here. How about we go back to my place and put a pizza in the oven along with some wedge potatoes?”
“That sounds so good,” Pen said. “I have some salad stuff in my refrigerator. I’ll pick that up and we can have a party.”
“I feel bad that you all are feeding me. I should contribute something.”
“Don’t worry about it. Next time we can come to your place. Well, Wave’s place.”
Blakely nodded. “Sure. That would be great. I need to figure out transportation. My car wasn’t much, but when the building burned, part of it fell on my car.”
“Maybe Thario knows of someone who wants to sell their car. We can put out feelers,” Willa said.
“I can pay cash, as long as it’s not too much.” She didn’t like spending the money in the account she’d shared with her father. It just felt wrong. She wouldn’t give it back to Grayson or to anyone else in the community, though. They would only use it to harm more women and kids.