EPILOGUE
Elliot
THREE WEEKS LATER
“Tell me again what it is you aren’t going to do,” Cruz murmured as his hand trailed down my naked back. I was covered in sweat and shaking like a leaf, but I somehow still managed to answer him.
“Come,” I gasped, just as I felt the blunt head of the dildo begin to breach me.
Even though it was the first time Cruz was using the toy on me, it wasn’t the first time I’d been so close to riding the edge of orgasming and not being allowed to take my pleasure. It was something Cruz liked to torture me with often, especially when the noise in my head got particularly loud.
And today it was practically screaming at me.
So I wasn’t at all surprised that Cruz had spent the better part of an hour blowing, finger-fucking and rimming me until I was calling him every name in the book in the hopes he’d get frustrated and fuck me hard and fast. But the man had nerves of steel.
Something I was actually very grateful for, since I hadn’t even once given thought to what I needed to do tomorrow.
I’d been stressing about it for nearly two weeks, and while Cruz had tried to reassure me that my dad wouldn’t be angry with me when I told him I had no desire to keep running the investment firm, I’d still only been able to see the decision as me somehow failing both of my fathers.
Cruz had done his best to keep me on an even keel as I’d waffled back and forth on the decision and when he wasn’t drugging me with mind-numbing sex, he was listening to my every worry and fear and letting me talk it out to my heart’s content.
And when it came to other topics that I was still trying to navigate my way through, like the peace I was trying to make in my heart with Declan Barretti, he listened, but he never urged me in one direction or the other.
But Cruz clearly had something special planned for today, because the dildo was a new development. It wasn’t very big, certainly nowhere near as big as Cruz, but when he’d shown it to me, I hadn’t missed the fact that it had a vibrating bullet in the tip.
I managed to follow Cruz’s instructions and luxuriated in his praise as he pushed the well-lubed dildo in and out of me a few times until it was finally seated all the way inside of me.
But the second he turned the thing on, all his commands flew out the window and I began humping the pillow he’d pushed under my hips to lift my ass in the air.
His big hand landed heavily on my ass and then he was pressed against my back, his hips pushing the dildo deeper into me.
“Did you forget something, baby?” he asked, his voice like silk.
“Too good,” I ground out.
“You know what this means,” he said as he reached his hand between us and began to pull the dildo out.
No fucking way. I wouldn’t survive it if he started the whole process over yet again.
“No, Cruz, I’ll do better,” I vowed as I turned my head. He gave me what I wanted and kissed me hard and fast. Then his lips gentled.
“You should see how beautiful you look, El,” he murmured against the shell of my ear. “But you know what, my beautiful boy?”
“Wh… what?” I managed to rasp.
“That gorgeous ass still looks too empty.”
I groaned as his words sank in. There was no way he was talking about…
Cruz chose that moment to up the vibration on the dildo and began thrusting his hips against mine.
He reared back and grabbed both my globes with his hands and used his dick to pump the dildo deeper into me.
The orgasm began to build in my balls and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop it, but before I could say anything, Cruz released me and turned off the vibration.
My body collapsed in a heap on the bed and it was all I could do to keep dragging in enough oxygen to keep from passing out.
I heard the snick of the cap on the lube and knew what was coming next.
I craved it, even as I feared it a little.
But my trust in Cruz was absolute. It hadn’t wavered even once in the weeks since he’d admitted I gave him so many of the very things he gave me.
While our sex life was off-the-charts crazy and alternated between rough quickies in the shower or on my kitchen table to long, drawn-out encounters like the one tonight to slow, sensual lovemaking that took my breath away every time, our actual “dating life” couldn’t have been more low-key.
It turned out that Cruz was a homebody like me and, more often than not, we sat in front of the television playing Assassin’s Creed, binge-watching shows on Netflix, or losing ourselves in cheesy B-rated horror movies that had us laughing out loud more than anything else.
We’d spent nearly every single night together, usually at my place only because it was closer to my work, and when he wasn’t working a case, it wasn’t unusual for him to meet me for lunch.
It turned out Cruz’s breakfast-for-dinner obsession applied to lunch too.
All in all, our compatibility sometimes scared me because it was almost too easy. I often found myself waiting for the other shoe to drop, but Cruz kept reassuring me that even if it did, he wasn’t going anywhere.
And I believed him.
Cruz’s hand palmed my ass in a gentle caress. “Whose ass is this, baby?” he murmured.
“Yours,” I said without hesitation. “Only yours, Cruz.”
Cruz’s hands closed around my hips so he could draw me up so that I was on all fours.
I groaned when the vibration on the dildo started up again, but the few minutes he’d given me as he’d prepared himself had allowed my body to come down a couple of notches.
But I knew it wouldn’t take much to send me right back to that precipice he’d had me hanging off all night.
I felt a slight tug on the dildo as Cruz got situated behind me, then his hand came down to rest in the middle of my back. “Breathe out, baby,” he said gently. I eagerly did as he said, even as tension racked my body. A split-second of nothingness passed, then I felt it.
Cruz’s crown pushing against my entrance.
Right beneath the dildo.
“Oh God,” I gasped when his dick pierced my body.
The pressure was almost too much, which meant it was just about fucking perfect.
My head spun as my body lit up. The pain turned into the familiar burn, but it lasted only seconds because Cruz pushed another inch of himself into me.
I gasped and reached behind me to grab his thigh.
I could feel his muscles flexing and realized I wasn’t the only one dealing with the strain.
Cruz didn’t ask me if I wanted to stop or if I wanted more.
Because he knew.
Just like all the other times that he instinctively knew what I needed.
Sometimes before I did. The shame I’d felt that first night was nonexistent for me now and I refused to try and label what Cruz and I did with one another.
I wasn’t his slave and he wasn’t my master.
But I wasn’t just his lover, either. We were so many things to each other and trying to simplify it with a label wasn’t necessary or warranted.
“Halfway, baby.”
Sweat was dripping off my forehead. I would have guessed that he was all the way in, considering how full I felt.
My lungs burned as I tried to breathe through the lingering pain.
The good thing was that my dick had softened somewhat, so I wasn’t in any immediate danger of disobeying Cruz’s rule not to come.
I had no clue how much time passed before Cruz’s balls brushed against mine. His fingers were biting into my hips hard enough that I’d have bruises in the morning, a fact I was very, very pleased about.
“Fuck, so tight,” Cruz muttered. His hands caressed my back as he held there for a moment, then they disappeared. I let out a hoarse shout when Cruz’s dick and the dildo pulled out of me in one slow, fluid motion.
When he shoved back inside me, I dropped my shoulders to the bed, because my elbows wouldn’t hold my weight anymore. “Cruz,” I whimpered.
“Just a little more, baby. It’s gonna feel so good when I send you flying.”
I might have nodded, I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure of anything except for how alive my body felt. Like my entire central nervous system had migrated south and was tied to Cruz’s cock.
Fast.
Slow.
Hard.
Soft.
Didn’t matter how he fucked me – every single way was heaven. My orgasm began building in my balls.
“Can’t stop it,” I managed to whisper.
Part of me was actually heartbroken that I wouldn’t be able to hold out any longer, because I wanted to please Cruz by following his rules, but I shouldn’t have even worried about it because he leaned over my back and said, “Don’t fight it, baby. Come for me. Just me.”
In one fluid movement, Cruz pulled his dick and the dildo out and then it was just his dick shuttling in and out of me.
He didn’t bother going for my cock, probably because he knew I didn’t need his touch there.
His weight pushed me completely down on the bed and he wrapped his arms around my chest. His lips pressed against my neck and then he was peppering my skin with gentle kisses.
It was in complete contrast to how hard he was fucking me.
I feared the orgasm that was overtaking me.
It just kept building and building and every time I was sure I would go over the edge, I didn’t.
When I whispered Cruz’s name with a measure of uncertainty, he was right there to remind me that he had me and that I was safe to let go.
So that’s what I did. I stopped worrying about when I would fly, or if I even would.
It didn’t matter. It had never been about the orgasm, anyway.
It had been about that moment where I could give myself over to someone else and trust them with my safekeeping.
It was letting go of the noise in my head and the fear of not being good enough and accepting that those things didn’t matter – they didn’t define me.
I was still the same Elliot I’d always been.
I was just okay with it now.
I was able to see that the man I’d become was perfect in his imperfections. He was brave despite his fear. He was allowed to fail, even though he rarely did. And he was worth loving, even when it was sometimes hard to love himself.
“El, are you still with me, baby?” Cruz asked.
I nodded. “Always with you,” I managed to get out.
“Do you love me, El?”
There was no hesitation as I said, “More than anything.”
The pressure in my balls finally exploded, but not before Cruz gave me the last thing I’d ever need. “Do you know how much I love you?”
I didn’t answer him as the orgasm washed over me in wave after violent wave, or even when I felt his release begin to burn my insides. It wasn’t until our breathing returned to normal and Cruz pulled out of me so he could turn me over and cradle me in his arms that I finally responded.
“The perfect amount, Cruz. You love me the perfect amount.”
He smiled and held my gaze for a long time before he gently kissed me and then settled his head on my chest so he could listen to my heartbeat.
He was silent as he held me that way, but I didn’t mind because just like everything else he’d done for me tonight and every other that had come before it, it was exactly what I needed.
And it was absolutely perfect.
The End