14. Testing Himself
TESTING HIMSELF
Fletcher was regretting bringing up his son.
But the truth was, he hated to see Paris so tense tonight.
He’d tried everything he could to relax her.
He teased her. Taunted her. Touched her.
In the end, he was positive it internally worked him up just as much.
Maybe what he was really doing was testing himself.
Which was ridiculous because it wasn’t like he had any rating system.
He turned his head, saw Paris chewing next to him, her eyes locked on his actions.
She wasn’t going to let this drop.
Maybe he didn’t want her to either.
“How old is your son?”
“Sixteen.”
“How old are you?”
“That’s personal, don’t you think?” he drawled.
“You know my age, why can’t I know yours?”
“Is it important?”
“Nope. Not in the least. But I’m curious.”
“You know that saying about curiosity,” he shot back, then took a large bite of his burger.
He might have been damn close to moaning over the first bite the same as she did her sandwich.
Almost.
That dinner he’d had tonight was nothing more than a sampling of food too fancy for him.
“I could use a cat right about now, don’t you think?” she said.
“Poor joke,” he said.
She let out a dramatic sigh and picked up a fry with her fingers before she dunked it into the mound of ketchup on her plate. “Guess that means you aren’t going to share your age.”
“Forty-five.” She hummed in her throat, continuing to eat. “Too old for you.”
“Not really. If you were old enough to be my father, that would be different. Instead, you’re like aged bourbon.”
“Huh?”
“London and I were talking about it. I knew you were older. They say women are like fine wine. Not men. Bourbon.” She dropped her head, closer to his this time, her voice lowering. “Hot and heavy on the tongue with that first sip. But making you want to go back for more.”
His dick shouldn’t be stirring in his pants, but it was. He thought he had more control than that.
“You didn’t slip another glass of wine without me looking, did you?”
“Please,” she said. “I can handle two glasses of wine. I’m far from drunk. Just being honest. And in light of that. Tell me more about yourself.”
“Why?”
“Well, if you’re going to be my shadow outside of my office and we want people to think we are a couple, then I should know those things, don’t you think?”
“I’m not going to be your shadow.”
“It feels it to me. So... Ian, you said. Does he live around here?”
“With me,” he said. “He didn’t want to move with his mother when she remarried last year and since I’ve caused him to move around enough with my job, there was no way I was saying no.”
“That’s sweet.”
“Yeah, that’s me. Sweet as apple pie.”
She laughed and put her head on his shoulder. He turned and looked down at her.
For a brief second it actually felt as if they were on a date.
A real date.
One where that action would cause him to drop his lips to hers.
The way her eyes were sparkling with humor, it was as if she knew she was baiting him for some kind of reaction.
“You’re funny when you want to be. Maybe it’s just this yummy food that is loosening up our tongues. Tell me more. I know you retired from the FBI. So you had to have had twenty years in there? Been with West for a year, so close to out of college.”
“I went into Quantico after college. I had twenty-two years in before I retired.”
“Can I ask why you did? Sometimes I get the impression you’re bored working for West.”
He laughed. Not meant to be a funny sound. No humor in it at all.
“Are you going to tell him that?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Good. Yeah. It’s a change of pace, but you know, I promised my ex I would quit after twenty years. I put them through enough being gone all the time or moving them around.”
“Ahh, and you didn’t. Got it.”
“That’s not what caused my divorce.”
He wasn’t sure why he was explaining himself.
Maybe he didn’t want Paris to think poorly of him.
That he hadn’t kept his word.
“Are you going to share what did?”
“It stays between us?”
“Of course.”
“Not even your twin?”
“That’s kind of one and the same with me,” she argued. “You’re really not asking me to do that, are you?”
“Do you think London tells you everything about Spencer?”
“Probably not. But the difference is, they love each other.”
She had a point. “My wife. My ex-wife. She cheated on me. Come to find out, she’d been doing it for years and for someone who was so good at their job, I didn’t see the signs of lying and cheating right under my nose.”
Her hand came out to rest on his arm. “I’m sorry about that. Maybe it’s because you’d never do it and didn’t expect it from someone you’d promised forever to.”
He turned and held her stare. “Yeah. But guess I was one-sided with those vows.”
“I hate to even ask how you found out.”
“Honestly, it’s like she purposely left clues right under my nose. For years, it was about feeling needed. She swears it had nothing to do with love or a relationship.”
“She was just horny?” she asked. “Sounds like that to me. Because you don’t just start going out to feel needed. Not to actually sleep with someone.”
“That’s what she said. It was only sex. And I’m with you. She’d never been that way before. Never really into sex in our marriage. I always felt it was me who pushed it more. Not sure why I’m sharing this.”
“Because I’m easy to talk to. I’m safe. I’m just pretend.”
She was far from safe.
Barely pretend in some moments.
“I don’t know about that,” he mumbled.
She bumped her shoulder into his. “That burger sure does look good.”
“Do you want some?”
“Can I?”
He held half the burger toward her, she took a large bite and grinned. “Nice and greasy. I’m going to regret this in the morning, I know it. But honestly, you’re taking my mind off of things and maybe I needed that more than anything.”
It was only putting more on his mind though.
“Glad I could help.”
“Don’t sound so put out about it. So, you find out about your ex and knowing what little I do about you, but judging from your character traits, you kick her ass out.”
“Nope. I packed a bag and left. She stayed in the apartment.”
“The noble thing.”
“It was faster,” he corrected.
“That too. How long ago was this? Do you mind me asking?”
“Oh, now you want to be polite about asking more?”
She laughed. “You’re being a good sport. I appreciate that. Sorry. I’ll stop.”
“It’s fine. It was right before my twenty-year mark. She’d been cooler than normal for a good year. I kept reminding her I was retiring. Then right before I put the paperwork in, I find this second phone. Almost as if it was left out on purpose.”
“Do you think she did?”
“Yep. I’m not that stupid. She put up a token fight, but in the end, she wanted me to find out. She wanted me to be the one to leave.”
“Because she didn’t have the courage to do it? She’s sleeping around, so that takes courage.”
“No. It’s not courage. It’s the easy way out and that was her. Passive aggressive. But she messed up our kid even more. I took the blame for not being around.”
She put her hand on his arm. “I’m going to stop you right there. By the sounds of it, you were married a long time. She married you when you were already in the FBI, right?”
“Yep.”
“So she knew what she was getting into. Sorry. Not buying it.”
“Doesn’t change the guilt of what I missed with more attention to my job than my family.”
And it never would.
“We’ll stop that talk now because it will only annoy me. You move out, you get a divorce, she finds another guy and remarries. Can I guess what he does?”
“Sure,” he said.
“She either went way the complete opposite of you. So a man who works with his hands, rough around the edges, or someone who is a complete pushover.”
“No,” he said.
The few he’d found out about that she’d slept with were more like him.
In looks. In personality. Even in law enforcement.
That one burned more than anything, but no one who knew him.
No one that his wife ever told them about her husband’s career.
Hell, seemed she lied to them and even swapped her wedding rings with another fashion ring so they didn’t think she was looking for more than some sex. Or if it was someone who didn’t know she was married and just looking to cheat.
Ian was right, Lorraine was a whore, but he couldn’t admit that to his son.
“Then everyone was a copy of you?” she asked. “Really?”
“Close enough.”
“Bitch,” she snapped and picked up the last quarter of her club. “Want a bite? You know, to be fair.”
He smiled and leaned forward, taking a bite since she’d already held it toward his face. “She was one,” he said around a mouthful.
“Bet you never admitted that to anyone but me.”
It didn’t warrant him agreeing.
The fact he was saying so much was odd enough.
Paris was really easy to talk to, but that didn’t mean he had to keep opening his mouth and letting words flow out.
“Are you going to finish your dinner?”
“Every last bit of it,” she said. “So much better than the other stuff we had.”
“Agreed.”
“So, the new husband. Bet she cheats on him.”
“That would be his problem.”
“Where do they live?”
“DC.”
“He’s a suit-wearing dude, huh?” Her eyes moved over him, slow and appreciative, before landing back on his face. “Political figurehead?”
“And the buzzer goes off.”
“Damn.” She went to rub her knuckle across her chest, but he caught her hand.
“Ketchup.”
“Good save,” she said. “Thanks.”
She wiped it off. “Well, at least Ian got to stay here then.”
“He did. And though he’s a typical sixteen-year-old and I had a lot of ground to make up, we are getting there.”
“I’m sure you’re just being modest.”
“More like cautious.”
Unlike how the conversation tonight took a turn into the personal category he’d never entered before.
Maybe he was the one who let one beer over three hours loosen his tongue.
Or it could be the hot woman next to him flirting and trying to take her mind off the fact he was her disguised date at her cousin’s order.