Chapter 7
Shane
It's Saturday, and it's my first time going to the park with Jaime. Despite it being her day off, Nicole offers to join us. I accept and offer to pay her, but she refuses. I make a mental note to add it to a bonus in the future. "Look how excited he is," Nicole whispers to me. We watch as Jaime aims and shoots his bubble gun across the sandbox. The younger children chase and pop the bubbles.
"I love how happy he gets just bringing joy to others," Nicole says warmly, adoringly.
"It's humbling," I respond. Only an hour since we left the estate, and I'm already realizing how much I've missed in Jaime's life. His interests, opinions, likes, and wants—there's a whole person in front of me I never fully saw. In my eyes, he was always my cute, innocent little nephew who needed protection and guidance. I see now how little he actually needs those things, and how much he resembles Claire.
It's just half an hour after we've arrived. Jaime's friend Alex and his mom, Annette, join us. It seems like this happens often on Saturdays, because Nicole and Annette have become good friends. As the kids play, we all chat. Annette comments on the beautiful day and complains about the increasing traffic as she subtly smiles and exchanges signals with Nicole. I can't help but wonder if she suspects a romantic connection between us and is discreetly encouraging Nicole. I play along and pretend to be oblivious to their secret communications.
Jaime and Alex play monster hunters and invite me to join; I agree to play the monster. I yelp and holler in pain as they tap me with their plastic swords, falling to the ground and rolling around until I'm covered in loose grass and debris.
"I just can't watch this anymore," Annette shouts, covering her eyes as she and Nicole watch on with smiles on their faces. "What you're doing to that Balenciaga is breaking my heart," Annette jests, referring to my soiled shirt. The boys are happy, and so am I, and the bright smile across Nicole's face is the cherry on top.
We play for about an hour before Annette and Alex have to leave. The boys say their goodbyes, as do Annette and Nicole. Both parties encourage us to do it again, with me included. I feel warm and welcomed into the group despite my previous absence.
After they're gone, Jaime requests we walk to the dog park just across the road. As we enter, he points to a brown cocker spaniel with a white nose covered in tan spots.
"Our neighbor Jack, at my mom's house, had a dog just like that one," he says. Memories of the old house and boxes filled with videos of Claire and Jaime flood my mind. "Jack's dog was a rescue dog," Jaime adds. "Mom said if we ever get one, we should get a rescue dog too." Nicole glances at me, urging me to say something. She had previously mentioned his desire for a dog, but my response has always been that it wasn't the right time.
"We'll need to do some planning, buddy," I say. "But it's definitely something I'll think about. Would you be willing to wait a week or two, let me check on something, and then we can talk about it afterward?"
His face lights up. "Sure. Thanks, Uncle Shane!"
As he finishes speaking, he spots an enormous black Doberman nearby and rushes over to pet it. The owner, an older woman, gives a loving smile as he approaches.
"Hey, Jaime," the woman says, her voice warm and familiar.
"Hi, Mrs. Dugan," he replies, placing his hands gently on the Doberman's head. "Hey, JoJo," he says to the dog.
"Woah," Nicole says, catching my attention. Her green eyes are fixed on me, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. "Are you sure you're the same Shane Matthews who hired me?" she teases.
"No, he's taking a break for a little while. You get me just temporarily."
"And how long is 'a little while'?" Nicole asks.
"Just until he rises from his coffin, down in the crypts below the manor," I joke.
"Aww, that's too bad," she says. Her smile, voice, and stare all at once send my heart fluttering.
"You've got such beautiful... eyes. I mean... they really complement your dress today." I fumble through the sentence like a middle school kid asking for a date.
Damnit, Shane, you had to make things awkward. You should be focused on Jaime, not this, I think to myself.
She smiles. "Thanks, Shane," she says before turning her attention back to Jaime. I decide not to talk for a while after that.
"This is really helpful to him," she says, gesturing toward Jaime as he strokes the dog's head. "He's usually excited to see Alex or JoJo, but today, there's just this extra spark in him, and I know it's because you're here."
"Thanks. I'm happy to be having some effect. It should have been this way from the beginning."
"Hey," Nicole says, locking eyes with me. "This is still the beginning." She playfully pokes a finger into my shoulder. "And you still have all the time in the world to keep it going."
I smile. So much wisdom for someone so young. She'd be a great partner, be it in business, parenting, or life.
Our car arrives just after 5 p.m., and Nicole and Jaime decide it's time I try Bricktop's Burgers, their favorite stop on Saturdays after the park. We decide to take the drive-thru and eat at home, but they can hardly wait to leave the parking lot before gobbling down their fries.
"These are so good," I say, stuffing a few into my mouth.
"Mom loved these, Uncle Shane. She's probably so happy to watch you eat them now," Jaime says.
Nicole and I both pause, waiting for the comment's aftermath. But he just keeps on smiling and stuffing fries in his mouth. There is no silence, no distant thoughts, no tears.
"Hey, Nicole. Next weekend, should we take Uncle Shane to Vito's Pizzeria?"
"You sure he's ready? We can't show him all our spots," Nicole jokes.
Jaime pauses, mimicking deep thought. "Yeah, I think it's okay," he finally says.
We share a look and enjoy the rest of the ride home.
Nicole and I share a cup of coffee after reading Jaime his bedtime story. Though I can't do it every night, stories are becoming a routine when I am home. However, Nicole and I spending time alone afterward is something new.
"You're sure I can't compensate you for today?" I ask. "I mean, don't take it wrong; we enjoy your company, and you are always welcome to come. I just don't want you to feel... I don't know..." I search for the right words.
"Shane, you've already said that, and I've already told you I'm fine. Today was... nice. I enjoyed it."
"Okay," I say. However, I still intend to give her a bonus down the line.
I nod, trying to keep the conversation going, but I realize I don't know what to talk about. I know so little about her, really. She's good with Jaime; she's intelligent and capable. Yet, an entire part of her life is a mystery to me. I've been so focused on Jaime and my own shortcomings as his guardian that I've barely stopped to consider Nicole's own situation.
I decide to test the waters a little. "You know, I think today was one of the best days I've had in a long time. But I have to admit, I feel like I'm playing catch-up with you and Jaime. You two are like a well-oiled machine."
She laughs softly. "We've had some time to get used to each other."
"Yeah, I can see that. But I barely know you, Nicole. I mean, I know a lot about Jaime, but I hardly know anything about you." I try to keep my tone light, casual, but I can tell by the way she shifts slightly in her seat that I've touched on something sensitive.
Nicole gives me a sideways glance, her smile fading just a little. "There's not much to know, really," she says quietly. "I'm just a girl from Italy who ended up here, trying to make a new life."
Her answer feels rehearsed—it reminds me of her interview. This was expected; everyone holds things back in an interview, but the first time, I wondered just how much she was holding back. She's always been guarded when it comes to her past, but it's only now, as I sit here looking at her, that I realize how little I've really asked. I've been so wrapped up in my own problems, I haven't noticed hers.
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," I say gently, not wanting to push her. "But if you ever do want to talk... I'm here."
Nicole gives me a small, grateful smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Thanks, Shane. That means a lot."
"So, Annette is really something," I say, changing the subject.
Nicole laughs. "She is really the best. She prides herself on being my 'crazy American sidekick,' as she calls it."
I smile.
"She's so free with her words and thinking. And gorgeous—you wouldn't even know she was older than me. And don't ever tell her I said that," Nicole adds, laughing as the words leave her mouth.
"You're pretty gorgeous yourself, I'd say," I add, not even realizing what I've said.
"Yes, yes, and you are handsome. We all know it," she jokes.
I try to bring it back with a bit of humor. "You know, you're not making this easy for me. I was trying to flirt there, and you're being all mysterious. How's a guy supposed to keep up?"
She chuckles, a genuine laugh this time, and for a moment, I've lightened the mood. But then, just as quickly, her laughter fades, and she goes quiet. Her gaze drops to her cup, and she wraps her hands around it as if drawing warmth from the porcelain.
I'm confused. One minute she's engaged, teasing, even, and the next, she's closed off. It's like watching a door swing shut; I don't know what to make of it.
For the first time, I'm really considering the possibility that Nicole's running from something in her past—something she's not ready to share. The look on her face is one of anxiety, and it makes me worry for her. I want to ask, to dig deeper, but I don't want to push her too hard—not tonight.
Before I can say anything more, Nicole stands up, setting her cup down on the coffee table. "I should probably get to bed," she says, her voice a little too brisk. "We've got that early morning visit to Jaime's doctor tomorrow."
I'm a little disappointed, feeling like I've pushed her too much, or maybe not enough. I can't quite tell. But I nod, standing up as well. "Yeah, of course. We should both get some rest."
We just stand there for a moment, and neither of us is moving to leave. There's a tension in the air, something unspoken that lingers between us. It feels like neither of us is ready to say goodnight, but the circumstances push us toward it anyway.
"Goodnight, Nicole," I say finally.
"Goodnight, Shane," she replies, giving me one last lingering look before she turns and heads upstairs.
I watch her go, feeling a strange mix of emotions. There's something there between us, but it's wrapped up in so much else—secrets, regrets, responsibilities. I know I want to get closer to her, but I also know that doing so will mean confronting whatever it is she's hiding.
As I turn off the lights and head to bed, I can't shake the feeling that tonight was a turning point. Something has shifted, and I am still determining where it's going to lead. But I know one thing: I'm not ready to let go of whatever this is. Not yet.