Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Everest
We took our time exploring the grounds, stared at clouds, and said hi to all of the friendly staff and guests we passed. Noting that Penny’s demeanor tightened every time someone approached, I kept greetings short.
I could almost feel her relax with every step.
“It’s so peaceful and happy here. It’s hard to believe I almost didn’t come after I ran into bad weather.”
“It’s a glorious day because you’re here.” I looked down at her and winked. “Was that too cheesy?”
“It was…” She hesitated, causing me to stop walking, catch her hand, and give her my full attention. “You can be honest with me. I’m not the alpha male type with an ego the width of my shoulders. What were you going to say? It was… cheesy? Come on give it to me.”
Honestly, I wanted her to tell me what she thought. I wanted to learn everything about her. And if it got uncomfortable, I had a joke loaded.
“It was cheesy… but better than a punch in the face.”
“You didn’t!” I shook my head and before I could stop myself, gently booped the end of her nose.
Her shoulders hunched and the smile I’d already come to love warmed her face. The day couldn’t be more perfect.
She said, “I’m sorry. I promise, I’ll stop.”
“Don’t stop being you.” Don’t stop reminding me of the first time I touched you. Don’t stop reminding me of how adorably resilient you are. I chose to keep those last two to myself. “I just couldn’t believe that you stole my thunder.”
Her brows furrowed.
“You were supposed to say, ‘It was cheesy,’ then I was going to do my best LMFAO Sexy and I Know It impression, ‘I’m cheesy and I know it’.”
A blush overtook her cheeks but a split second later she turned at the sound of a cow, letting the animal hold her gaze. “I like how you had that all mapped out.”
“I was hopeful.” I also had a lot more mapped out than the conversation. Our entire lives were mapped out in my mind. I’d already imagined her pregnant with our baby—one of many.
But going back to the original comment, the day truly was glorious because of her.
Motioning toward the petting zoo that she had given all of her attention, I said, “Why don’t we get a closer look.”
“Could we take the long route?” she asked hesitantly.
It took me a second longer than I wanted for it to register that there were too many people at the petting zoo, but I’d accept any reason to give us more time together.
Taking the long way around, we walked in silence until an errant step on her part, and a brush of our fingers, caused her to squeak.
She jerked away and wrung her hands. “Sorry, I stumbled.”
“I’m here to catch you.” I ran my hand up her arm.
Her nervous smile matched my internal agony.
Touching someone when they’re getting a professional massage was so different than otherwise, normally. How the hell was I going to keep my cock under control while rubbing her body? My game plan grew weaker by the moment.
I planned on thinking of the names of each muscle as my hands passed over them, and identifying tendon insertion points, and relaying any potential causes of normal trigger points, should she have any.
So many people stored tension in the same places. I didn’t want her to ever have another trigger point again. I wanted to single handedly make her life a dream come true.
She would be getting her first massage soon, but I would be dealing with my first conflicted massage. I opted to keep that to myself as well.
I suppose my normal ability to separate such an intimate act was similar to the way kink scenes weren’t overtly sexual, like a spanking or bondage could be scenes unto themselves.
How often did things go wrong because one partner didn’t delineate as well as the other?
I wasn’t sure if separation of kink and sex was the most liberating aspect of this experience or the scariest. Could I handle Penny getting spanked by someone else, even if it was non-sexual?
Could I accept not being everything to her? There I went again with my impulsive thoughts.
My therapist would say that was an excellent place to consider doing personal work… be open about trust and limits with your partner. Or a step further back… establish Penny as a partner before thinking about breeding her because apparently that’s my kink.
Also, probably not a good idea to tell her I had to go to a therapist. Not exactly confidence instilling.
Grasping for a dose of reality, I said, “You wanted to go for a walk and get some air… Is nature always calming to you?”
“As long as there aren’t too many people.”
“Agreed. Is that why you didn’t want to go straight to the petting zoo?”
She took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m fine being near groups of people, but being in the group gets overwhelming. Does that make sense?”
“They’re two entirely different things.”
“Thank goodness you get it.” She grabbed my hand and quickly let go. “Sorry.”
Enough of her apologizing. Taking her hand, I held it up between us and pointed to our union.
“You never have to apologize for touching me. I guess I had an advantage getting information about you from Erika. Something you should know about me is that I love physical contact. Would you mind if we kept holding hands while we walk?”
She smiled, lowered our hands, and resumed walking.
Shit! I was so surprised that she allowed the hand-holding, it rooted my feet to the ground.
She’d taken a few steps. Our arms stretched between us. It wasn’t until she stopped and looked back at me that I finally got my feet in motion.
Without missing another beat, she said, “Anyway, thank you for understanding about being around people. It’s not so bad if I know them and like them, but otherwise, my system shuts down.”
“Completely logical. Not everybody needs to be the center of attention.”
“Or wants to.”
“Exactly.” Where had she been all my life?
As we neared the petting zoo, a group of guests in cute dresses came from the other direction and stopped at the spot we were heading toward.
Penny stutter stepped—enough of a hint for me. I squeezed her hand and said, “Let’s go to the other end.”
Her easy compliance felt right. If I could learn her tells this well in such a short time, how much—
“Stella!” Penny’s eyes lit up as she extended her free hand to everyone’s favorite cow, or at least that’s what it seemed in the few days we’d been working here. How did she know the animals’ names already?
She continued, “There has to be a backstory for how Stella got her name.”
“I know how Stella got her groove.”
Penny angled her head up at me.
“Actually, I don’t. I never watched the movie. I can ask around about the cow’s name, though.”
“Thanks, could you check on Howard the Duck, too?”
“Anything you want.”
The girls from the other end started to approach us.
I quietly asked Penny, “Would you like to leave, or I could cut them off.”
“I don’t mind meeting them.” She clutched my hand tighter.
Holy fucking hell, the trust almost made me come in my pants. I had it bad for Penny. Keeping my voice down, I said, “Sadie probably knows how the animals got their names; want me to ask her?”
“Not right now.”
I kept the introductions brief, thanked them for coming over, and felt like a fucking king protecting my queen when they took my hint and moved on.
Refocusing on what I could do for Penny, I asked, “Do you need anything? We’ve been out for a while. Food, drink, bathroom?”
“A bathroom would be nice.”
“There’s a restroom in the Dungeon. We can use the trip as a segue to explore the massage room.” My breaths were shallow as she considered the offer.
She nodded. “Thanks.”
“What for?”
“Being kind to me. I know I’m reserved, shy, stand-offish, all the labels people like to give… some even say, I’m on the spectrum, but to me, I’m just me, and you seem cool with that. So thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I pondered how many people had felt the need to label her and my heart broke. “You should hear what my family says about me.”
I quickly realized I shouldn’t have said that. Now was not the time to reveal Atlas and Phoenix were my brothers. No, that was selfish. I should just tell her who I was.
Crap, that wasn’t going to work. Not yet. I knew how I felt about my big brother. I didn’t want her to feel that way about the three of us. After we had a little get-to-know-you time, then I could tell her. And that was my perfect talking point.
“I have an overbearing big brother who gives me grief all the time.” I reached for the door to the Dungeon but she stilled my hand.
“I don’t have an older sibling, but my friends say they can be pretty overbearing.”
“Understatement.”
We stood, face to face, making me fear she was going to decide not to go into the Dungeon, but she shocked me by saying, “Before I chicken out, I want to do the massage.”
“Okay, and rem—”
“Hey, Everest.” A firm hand slapped onto my shoulder. The voice unmistakably belonged to Atlas. Thank God he hadn’t called me brother. Phoenix stepped up behind him.
Looks of curiosity and irritation coated their faces. Atlas looked at my outstretched hand and then at the hand that was holding Penny’s. “Where are you going?”
“I’m taking Penny for a massage.”
“We could help.” Atlas reached for the door handle.
“You’re not a masseur.”
“I give a mean foot rub.”
The shock of the situation wore off and I was able to take inventory of Penny’s reservation. “Penny would prefer this to be a one-on-one massage.”
Atlas grumbled then asked her, “Is that true?”
What the fuck? Why would he put her on the spot?
Her voice was soft, but she answered him. Everyone always did what he said. He had that commanding effect. She said, “I… I’ve never had a massage. I think it’s usually done with one person.”
Phoenix took a step back but Atlas held firm and waved a finger between us. “This isn’t code for something else, is it? I mean…” Atlas extended his arms wide. “We’re at Rawhide Ranch. You don’t have to use code words.”
“They’re not code words. I’m giving her a massage as I am trained and certified to do.”
“You should have told us you had something planned. We wondered where you’d run off to.”
“I finished today’s tasks, now I’m taking part in Ranch activities. Don’t see why I need to tell you.”
Penny giggled beside me and whispered, although I’m certain Atlas could hear, “It’s like he’s that big brother you mentioned, always monitoring you.”
I shot the firmest, sternest look I could to my brothers. I’d come unglued if they fucked this up. I had to keep it official. “I’ll catch up with you later to go over tomorrow’s schedule.”
Phoenix rolled his eyes and turned to leave.
Atlas huffed, staying squarely in front of me.
My brothers were smart but we had an unbreakable bond—one that was currently being put to the test. So far, everyone had a passing grade. Surely they realized that if they screwed this up for one of us, they screwed it up for all of us.
“Let’s get that massage.” I stepped around Atlas and opened the door, escorting Penny inside.
The seconds ticked past while she was in the bathroom and I finished prepping the room. Part of me worried she wasn’t coming back.
My heart wanted to run right down my arm, off the tips of my fingers, and into the hallway to guard the front door and make sure she didn’t try to leave.
Would that come across as being firmly encouraging or desperate? I feared the latter.
All I could do was trust that she’d return. And that she’d understand why I waited to tell her who I was.