Chapter 9 #2
She swallowed as her heart thumped harder inside her chest. Before she could change her mind, she blurted, “Because no one picks me. Not my family, not Trahern, not anyone.”
Frowning, he asked, “Who’s Trahern?”
Crap. Why had she brought him up?
In recent days, she’d used her journal to sort out her thoughts. It’d helped her to understand what a fool she’d been, seeing things that weren’t there. Distance had made her realize she’d been clinging to a dream that never had a chance.
However, as her eyes moved to Cam’s lips, the urge to kiss him rushed through her. Could she really want someone so quickly?
You didn’t truly want Trahern. He was just safe and there.
Cam’s finger caressed her bottom lip, and her eyes shot to his again. “Tell me, lass. Let me in. Please. I won’t toss you aside for merely sharing more of yourself.”
This was it. This was the moment when she had to make a choice.
Did she risk feeling foolish and Cam maybe mocking her for what she’d wanted with Trahern?
No. He wouldn’t mock her. Maybe he’d pity her, which was almost worse. But she knew he’d listen and be kind.
Before she could change her mind, she whispered, “He’s a dragonman who saved me once at university from some bad blokes, and I thought I fancied him for years. I came to Seahaven partially to get away from him.”
“What do you mean you thought you fancied him?”
One of his hands continued to stroke her cheek while the other hand moved to her neck. His thumb caressed her pulse, back and forth, and it was difficult to concentrate.
“I-I thought he was interested in me. Trahern is a bit…quirky, and doesn’t have a lot of close relationships.
We were friends, best friends, and I think I was so desperate to have closeness and possibly love, given what my parents did, that I latched onto it.
When he recently mated someone else, it stung. But then…”
“Then what?”
She swallowed. Could she really tell him?
Do it. “Then I met you. It was all pretend, and I struggled, and you were so attentive…it made me want it to be real. I wanted someone who wanted me, all of me, and let me know with little things, like attention and dinners and the sharing of pasts. But then I remembered it was a ruse, and so I hid away. B-but was it really just pretend? Or was some of it real?”
He leaned in, nuzzled her cheek, and whispered into her ear, “On my end, it became real rather quickly. I’ve never wanted to know a female more in my life than you.” He leaned back, his pupils flashing rapidly, as he added, “Won’t you give me a chance, lass? Because this isn’t fake to me.”
As she stared into his blue eyes, Emily’s heart thudded. She wanted to scream yes. And yet, she was afraid of being hurt again.
Of being tossed aside.
Cam moved a hand to the back of her neck and moved his head closer until his lips were a hairsbreadth away from hers.
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, and I want to prove that I want you, Emily. Desperately. And I can do that by kissing you. If we’re true mates, you can drug me until it wears off.
If we’re not, then I’m going to kiss you until you’re breathless and begging for more. ”
She blinked. “Wait, what? You want to risk silencing your dragon for months, if we end up being true mates?”
“Aye. And when I’m myself again, I’ll still go looking for you.”
“Don’t be silly and lie to me.”
“I’m not. I’ve been hurt too, deeply so, but that pain will pale in comparison if you don’t give us a chance, lass. So what will you do?”
“But if we’re not true mates, you’ll regret it. Won’t you?”
He arched an eyebrow. “Why? Not everyone on Seahaven is true mates, and they’re all happy and in love.”
“Wait, so you all left Lochguard, even without everyone having their true mates?”
“Aye. If nothing else, the people of Seahaven believe in creating their own destinies. That includes me.”
Emily itched to lift her hand and trace Cam’s jaw. However, she resisted. “How are you so sure of things? Especially if you’ve been hurt before, as you say?”
“Nothing is guaranteed. But you’re special, Emily Davies. You call to both man and beast in a way that I’ve never experienced, and I want the chance to woo you. To convince you that maybe you came to Seahaven for a reason.”
“I thought you said Seahaven made its own destiny.”
He smiled. “We do. But sometimes we need a nudge, especially when someone is as stubborn as me.”
She smiled back at him. “Well, you are fairly stubborn.”
He pulled her body closer, until her breasts brushed his chest and he replied, “Very stubborn. So, will you let me put it to good use and date you for real?”
As she searched his eyes, her heart raced. Cam was handsome and funny and treasured his family.
And, most of all, when he looked at her, she felt as if she was the only thing in the world that mattered.
She wished she could toss caution to the wind and accept that maybe she really had come to Seahaven for a reason.
And yet…
She replied, “If you promise not to kiss me on the mouth, I’ll try dating you. But I need more time to get to know you, to trust you, before risking a mate-claim frenzy.”
He caressed her back, and she leaned more against him. “Then let me seal that deal with this.”
Cam kissed the side of her neck, and she moaned. He nibbled and licked and caressed, to the point she had to lean against him to remain upright.
Then his hand went to her arse, and he pressed her fully against him, and she gasped at his erection.
Cam whispered into her ear, “Aye, there’s the proof that I want you, Emily. I won’t rush you, but just know that you’re beautiful, and I can’t wait for the day when I can strip you bare and kiss every inch of your body.”
No man had ever said such things to her, and she gripped his shirt in her hands to steady herself. “So you do have some charm after all.”
He chuckled. “Aye, it comes and goes.” He kissed her jaw. “And as much as I want to charm my way into feeling more of your skin, if we don’t go inside soon, someone will come looking. And whilst I don’t mind being caught with my hand under your shirt, I don’t want you to ever get embarrassed.”
She ran a hand up and down his chest, loving how his pupils flashed faster the more she touched him. For a woman who’d never really inspired lust in any male she’d fancied before, it was intoxicating. “Maybe you can try that later, when we get home.”
He groaned. “Now, how am I supposed to tame my cock enough to dance with you?”
Running a hand up his neck to his jaw, she said, “Surely, it can’t be that difficult.”
He snorted. “You’re obviously not a dragonman.”
“No.” Then something hit her. “Although you all have supersensitive senses of smell. They’ll know we were out here, aroused.”
He cupped her face again and laid his forehead against hers. “No one will notice. Once we go inside, you’ll see why.”
As she searched his eyes, a sense of rightness settled over her. She shouldn’t trust him so soon, and yet she was learning that Cam was dependable.
Please don’t let me regret this later.
His voice garnered her attention again. “Hey, whatever you’re uncertain about, tell me.”
“You’re like a bloody mind reader,” she grumbled.
“Not quite. Although reading people is part of my job. So what’s wrong?”
She sighed. “Well, I don’t have the best track record at keeping people’s attention, and I worry yours will fade, too.”
“So I looked into those love language things you talked about.”
She blinked. “Um, okay?”
“It’s related, I promise. Undivided attention is one of them, and that’s what I have for you. If anything, I’ll only give you more attention once I’m sure I won’t scare you off.”
“What, are you secretly a stalker?”
He scrunched his nose and grunted. “Definitely not.”
She caressed his cheek, loving the slight roughness, signaling it was time to shave again soon. “I’m just teasing you.”
He took her hand and kissed the palm, making her lower belly flutter before murmuring, “I know.” He met her gaze again. “And now will you let me show off my bonnie girlfriend to the clan at the gathering?”
She hesitated a beat. Her answer would fundamentally change her life forever.
But Emily was tired of being safe or hiding away. Maybe she’d get hurt in the end, but maybe she wouldn’t.
However, if she didn’t take this chance, she would regret it forever.
After taking a deep breath for courage, she nodded. “Okay.”