20. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
Jaylen
W hen Sophia and Kaleb walk in the room, the dread and disappointment that kept me awake half the night buries itself deeper inside my bones.
"Where's Jess?" I ask, hoping that they'll tell me she's just getting food or is on her way.
The bright smile that was taking over Sophia's face drops, and I know immediately that Jess isn't with them and likely isn't coming.
"She said that she had some stuff to do and would see you another day," Sophia mutters, walking over to me.
Kaleb follows closely behind her, pulling out the chair at my bedside and hovering over her as she sits down.
"Seriously, Kaleb, leave me alone," she bites out, glaring at him.
"I'm just making sure you're okay, dolcezza ."
"I'm sitting in a god damned chair, Kaleb. I'm fine, so back up a few steps and stop being so overbearing."
"How about some food? Are you hungry? Or thirsty? I could go get you something," he suggests, his eyes running over her as if he's looking to see if she's injured in any way .
"I could do with some food," I tell him, glaring at the empty tray on the table beside me. "They don't feed me enough here, and it's not as good as Myra's food either."
"I wasn't asking you," Kaleb bites out.
"Are you two okay?" I ask, watching the unusual behaviour between them.
"Yes, we're fine. Kaleb's just being Kaleb."
"He's acting ten times worse than he usually does," I state, frowning at the pair.
"I know," Sophia huffs as she pushes Kaleb away from her.
He finally relents and moves to the other chair in the room, but his eyes stay glued to Sophia.
"How are you feeling today?" she asks, turning to face me with a small smile on her face.
I contemplate lying to her and telling her that I'm fine, but Sophia knows me too well and would easily figure out that something's not right, so instead, I sigh and grimace.
"I feel like shit," I tell her, looking away when a wave of concern washes over her face. "Jess and I sort of had an argument last night, and I think that's why she's avoided coming here today. Hell, I think that's why she's avoided seeing me all together since I've been awake."
"What did you argue about?" she asks, scooting forward in her chair.
Kaleb clears his throat from beside me and stands up, glancing between us.
"I'll leave you two to talk and go do something," he says, clearly uncomfortable with where this conversation is leading.
He walks around my bed, drops a soft kiss against Sophia's head and then leaves the room .
Sophia watches me expectantly, waiting for me to tell her what happened and I huff, shaking my head.
Moving my arms up the bed so that my palms lay flat against the mattress beneath me, I wince as I push myself up into a seated position, ignoring the twinge of pain that shoots through my midsection.
I carefully move one of my hands behind me to adjust the pillows and then I lean back against them, taking some of the weight off of my hands.
Sophia jumps up from her chair, grabbing onto my shoulders.
"Jesus, Jay. What are you doing?"
"It's okay," I tell her, resting back against the pillows. "I've managed to move just fine already today, and it barely hurts."
"Does anyone know?" she asks, slowly releasing her hold on my shoulders as if she's unsure if I need her help and support.
"It doesn't matter. I'm fine."
"Okay, if you say so, you grumpy arsehole."
"I'm sorry," I mutter, shaking my head in disappointment at myself. "I didn't mean to snap. I'm just stressed out and frustrated."
"And that's exactly why you're going to tell me what's going on. What happened with you and Jess?"
"In all honesty, I'm not exactly sure, but she's definitely pissed off with me.
I've been a terrible fucking brother to her, and I've hurt her feelings.
I think she just snapped after holding it all in for too long, and before I could apologise, or try to get a better understanding on what it is that I've done wrong, she left. "
"Jaylen, that's nonsense. You're an amazing brother to her, and you've always been the person that's there for us, whenever we've needed you. You're the most selfless person I know. You've literally put your life on hold to take care of me for the past however many years."
"That's the point, Soph. Jess basically told me last night that it's as if I'm never there for her because I've always had to be there for you instead, and honestly, after spending all night thinking about it, I can understand why she'd feel like that."
Sophia watches me for a few moments and I watch her face drop as the realisation of my words sink into her mind.
"Oh," she says quietly.
"I feel terrible, and I feel like I've let her down."
"Jaylen, it's not like you could control that.
You were appointed as my bodyguard, it's basically a job for you.
We just made it so that it was an enjoyable job, instead of a boring one that you'd hate doing.
I'll talk to Jess later when she comes round for our weekly movie night, but trust me, I think she's maybe just got a build-up of emotions at the moment with everything that's gone on recently, and she probably just lashed out. "
"Yeah, maybe," I sigh. "Do you know who Scott is?"
She frowns and shakes her head.
"Jess mentioned something about some guy called Scott. She said he was right about me not caring for her in the way that I should, or something along those lines."
"Well, again, I'll try and find out, but you need to stop worrying about other things, Jay. Your main focus needs to be getting better and healing properly. Look after yourself for once and try to stop worrying about everyone else."
I tilt my head and shoot her an incredulous look .
"You realise that's literally impossible, right?
I'm the nosiest person ever. I have to know everything about everyone, otherwise I feel like I'm missing out.
Besides, I need to worry about other things now that I'm awake.
With Jericho out of the picture, and Dom taking over, I need to make sure I keep up to date with everything so that when I get out of the hospital, I know what I need to do. "
She scoffs and shakes her head.
"Seriously? You've been in a coma for a month Jaylen, and you've only just started being able to move half your body. Stop thinking about everything that's going on outside this room."
"It's hard for me to do that."
"Yeah, well whilst Leo's helping Dominic with everything, take some time to relax and shut your mind off, find a hobby or something."
"Wait, Leo's helping Dom?" I ask, shock lacing my tone.
"Yeah, he's been acting as Dom's second in command for a couple of weeks now, not that he's very happy about it.
It was Jericho's suggestion," she tells me, smiling as she grabs a hold of my hand.
"This is why I'm telling you to take your time and just focus on recovering.
Once you're released from the hospital, you can still come stay with me and Kaleb, and you can focus on your physiotherapy.
Wait until you're all healed up and get the all clear from a doctor before you even think about anything else other than yourself. "
My mouth goes dry and a dull ache starts up in my chest when I realise what she's saying.
I'm not needed any more.
I won't need to be her bodyguard because Alessandro is gone and she now has Kaleb to protect her .
I'm not needed as Dom's second in command either because Leo has filled that role for me.
An immense sadness washes over me when I realise that my whole life is going to be completely different now, and I have no idea what I'm meant to do, or who I'm meant to be without filling the roles I was prepared for my whole life.
"I'm getting kind of tired, do you, uh—do you mind coming back later or something?"
Sophia must notice the shift in my mood because her face drops and she stares at me with concern before nodding her head.
"Sure," she mumbles, standing from the chair and leaning over to place a kiss on my cheek. "I'll come visit tomorrow, possibly with Mum and Dad as I know they want to come see you."
"Okay."
"I'll sneak you in some food as well," she adds, probably trying to help lift my mood, but when that doesn't work, she sighs in defeat and leaves the room.