Chapter Three
Xavier stepped back inside the lodge, rubbing his hands together as the warmth of the crackling fire in the reception area rushed through his body.
It had been Hannah’s idea to put it in, to create a warmer and cozier ambience for those first arriving at the lodge, and it had been a great addition.
Every time he saw it, he felt a little more relaxed.
God only knew how much he needed that right now.
His stomach grumbled as he headed down to the kitchen.
He had skipped out on breakfast, oversleeping after he had been up in the middle of the night.
Even when he fell back into a fitful sleep after his cold shower, the dreams had plagued him enough that he hadn’t been able to get any real rest, no matter how hard he tried.
Now, he could feel the weight of that lack of sleep pressing down on his shoulders. He hoped it wasn’t too obvious.
Though, judging by the way Hannah had looked at him when he ran into her outside, he wasn’t doing a good job keeping it to himself. He didn’t want to worry anyone, but at the same time, there was only so long he could wait this out before he had to admit defeat and get help.
Arriving at the kitchen, he found Sarah Peterson, Warrior Peak’s counselor, finishing up with the dishes.
She flashed him a grin. “All the pancakes are gone,” she told him. “But there’s some bacon and eggs left on the stove if you want something.”
“Thanks, Sarah,” he replied, and he went to help himself to a hearty breakfast, even if he really didn’t feel much like it.
His stomach twisted into knots as he thought about what he had come back to the night before.
He still had no explanation for what had happened to his room, and that bothered him.
He liked everything in his world to be in order, everything in its place.
That was how he handled the stress of everything he had been through, how he survived in the mess of the life he’d led so far.
But someone tossing his room was something he hadn’t been ready for, and he didn’t like the way it made him feel.
“You need a hand with those?” he asked Sarah, nodding to the dishes she was working through.
She waved a hand. “I’m fine,” she replied. “Hannah already brought everything in from the dining area, and I’m just finishing up. You have something to eat.”
He nodded at her gratefully and went to take a seat in the empty dining hall.
The smell of pancakes and maple syrup lingered in the air, a reminder of what he had missed.
Even if he had been awake, he doubted he would have bothered coming down here to join everyone.
He wouldn’t have been in the mood to put himself in a roomful of people who might guess something was up.
He didn’t want questions, he didn’t want interrogation, and he didn’t want anyone to know what was really going on inside his head.
He’d needed the cool morning walk and space to clear his head a little more and think.
Someone there at the lodge, after all, had likely been the one to go through his room in the middle of the night.
If that was the case, he didn’t want to give them any indication that he was on to them.
He knew from his CIA days that playing it cool was the best way to get a rat out of hiding, and he intended to smoke out this person one way or another.
Just as Xavier was finishing his food, Lawson appeared in the doorway. Xavier caught his friend’s eye, and as soon as he did, his stomach dropped. Lawson’s mouth was set into a hard line, and judging by the look on his face, Xavier could tell he wanted to have a serious conversation.
Xavier sighed and set aside his plate as Lawson came to join him, sliding in to the long wooden bench that ran along the other side of the communal table.
“Didn’t see you at breakfast today,” Lawson stated.
Xavier had hoped his absence wouldn’t be that obvious, but looked like he hadn’t gotten so lucky. He shrugged and tried to keep his voice steady. “Overslept.”
Lawson paused, giving Xavier a chance to share more, but when he didn’t, he sighed and cocked his head at him. “I know something’s going on with you,” he said bluntly.
Leave it to Lawson to jump right to the heart of the matter.
His friend had never been one to mince his words, but Xavier’s back was instantly up.
Did he know something about the room invasion last night?
“What are you talking about?” Xavier fired back.
He knew Lawson was on his side, but there was a part of him that didn’t like letting anyone in.
After everything he’d been through in his life, he felt like he needed to be on his guard at all times, even around his best friend.
“The nightmares are back, aren’t they?” Lawson pressed.
Xavier looked down at the table. He didn’t need to reply.
Lawson had been there with him when Xavier was first navigating the nightmare of surviving his brother’s loss.
Lawson had seen how much it tore Xavier apart.
Xavier wished he had some way to deny it, but there would have been no point.
Lawson knew him better than anyone else in the world.
“You’ve been off ever since the fire,” Lawson continued, raising his eyebrows pointedly. “You don’t need to hide it from me, man. I remember—”
“It’s fine,” Xavier cut him off before he could go any further.
He didn’t want to get into it, not now. There were other, more important things to think about.
He wasn’t going to dwell on the memories that he had worked so hard to leave in the past. Even if his brain didn’t agree while he was sleeping.
Lawson grimaced. “Healing isn’t linear,” he reminded him. “God knows you’ve learned that just like I have, seeing what people go through here. There’s no shame in needing help. That’s what we have Sarah for—”
Xavier shook his head again. He knew Lawson was just trying to help, but that was the last thing on earth he needed right now.
His best friend was trying to look out for him, but the thought of dredging up all those old memories once more made his chest hurt.
He wasn’t going to put himself through that.
Not a chance in hell. “I’m fine,” Xavier insisted, brushing him off.
“I saw how bad it got last time,” Lawson reminded him, dropping his voice slightly.
Xavier straightened up, rolling his shoulders back and trying to figure out the best way to get his friend off his case. “Someone was in my room last night.”
Lawson stared at him for a moment, frowning at the sudden change of subject. Then he blinked and blinked again like he was trying to process the information. “What are you talking about?”
“I went down to the showers in the middle of the night,” Xavier explained, skipping the part where he’d been woken up by a nightmare. “When I got back, the window to my room was open, and someone had been through all my drawers.”
Lawson’s eyebrows rose. “Was anything missing?”
“Not that I could see,” Xavier replied. “I’ll have another look today, now that I’m all the way awake, but it didn’t seem like anything had been taken.”
“Damn,” Lawson muttered, shaking his head. “Who do you think it was? Got any ideas?”
“None,” Xavier admitted. “I don’t know anyone here who would want to go through my stuff like that.”
“You have any idea what they were looking for?”
“Not like I’ve got anything worth taking,” Xavier pointed out with a shrug. “But if I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”
“Who could have got in like that?” Lawson wondered out loud. His voice turned hard and tense, the prior conversation forgotten.
Much to Xavier’s relief. “I don’t know. If I’m being generous, I might have said it was just someone sleepwalking, but…”
He trailed off. There was nothing else they needed to say, not really.
After the fire, everyone at Warrior Peak had been unsettled.
They couldn’t let their guard down, and they had to assume everything was a threat after what had happened.
The attack on the sanctuary grounds had underlined just how vulnerable this place was.
With the doors open to anyone who needed it, it was difficult to track who might have been here for reasons other than the right ones.
“You keep your doors locked and your head up,” Lawson told him.
“I’ll have a look through the security footage around the area.
I know we don’t have any cameras in the rooms or inner hallways specifically, but we might be able to catch someone sneaking around in the outer hallways and doors and the common areas.
Maybe they didn’t realize they were being recorded. ”
“Thanks,” Xavier replied. “Let me take a look at it, too. I want to know who was poking around in my room.”
Lawson nodded, then stood like the conversation was over.
Xavier got to his feet as well, grabbing his dishes to take them back to the kitchen.
He was glad he had managed to deflect the more serious conversation before they got too deep into it.
He didn’t want to have to flesh out the details of his bad dreams to Lawson.
They were just dreams, after all. Of course they sucked, but other than messing with his sleep, which made him tired the next day, they didn’t have an impact on his real life.
No matter how real they seemed in the moment.
“You better wash that up or the women will have your head,” Lawson joked, walking toward the kitchen.
Xavier grinned and headed over to the sink to start taking care of his dishes.
He knew Lawson was right. Sarah and Hannah were sticklers for cleanliness, always making sure the kitchen, dining hall, and other common areas were as clean as possible with so many different people always around.
He wasn’t going to be the idiot who left a dirty plate out under their watchful eyes.
He turned on the water and let it run until it was warm.
Though most of the lodge building had been refitted, the pipes still took time to get going once the water was turned on, especially in the colder weather, rattling and groaning in the walls.
And even more so with multiple people in the showers at the same time.
It turned into a clinking and clanking symphony of sounds.
But that was why he liked this place so much.
Even after all these years and all these changes, it still held some memories of what it had been in the first place, a rustic retreat built for a family to escape to.
They had managed to build on that legacy, turning it into a new safe space for all the people who needed one.
He didn’t even know the extent of everything the guests here had been through, but he didn’t have to.
He could see it written all over their faces, the tension and drawn expressions when they first arrived, and then the slow unfurling of their true personalities and potential the longer they stayed and the more they healed.
It was an honor to bear witness to the healing and growth that happened at Warrior Peak.
Maybe he was a hypocrite for not doing the same, but he couldn’t find it in him to want to heal right now.
Lawson leaned in the doorway, and Xavier could feel his eyes on him. Xavier glanced over at him, raising his eyebrows as though nudging him to say whatever was on his mind.
“Just think about it, man,” Lawson told Xavier, coming over to slap him on the shoulder. “Sarah’s here to help people. What you’re going through, it’s exactly her realm of expertise. You should consider it, at least.”
Xavier sighed. He knew Lawson wasn’t going to let this go until he had at least agreed to that. He nodded. “Sure, I’ll consider it.”
“Good,” Lawson replied and headed for the door.
As he left, Xavier realized that he had let the water run until it was far too hot, and his hand was nearly scalding beneath the flow. He drew it back quickly, sucking in a sharp breath, and put on the cold tap to try to even it out.
Staring down at the dishes before him, his mind drifted back to his room, ransacked and rummaged through.
That was the most important thing to get to the bottom of right now, not his nightmares and why they were so frequent again after the fire.
There was someone, maybe even someone staying at the lodge, who was causing trouble, and he wasn’t going to let them get away with it.
This place was his home, and these people were his family. He was going to protect them at all costs.