Chapter Seventeen
As Xavier tightened the last screw into place, he took a step back to admire his handiwork on the latest addition to the lodge building.
“Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself,” Aaron remarked, grinning. “Though I still don’t know why anyone would want to jump into freezing cold water first thing in the morning.”
“Hey, if it helps them, that’s what matters,” Xavier pointed out. He dusted off his hands and reached for the half-full cup of coffee he’d been sipping on to help motivate him through the construction.
The cold plunge tub had been Lawson’s idea, after he heard about it helping athletes in their recovery.
He’d done a little research into it and found that it had some decent therapeutic value for people dealing with trauma, the shock of the cold sometimes enough to pull them out of a flashback.
He wouldn’t say anything to the others about it, but he could attest to the accuracy from his icy showers when he needed the extra help coming back to reality.
And besides, there was still plenty of work to do before it was ready to go.
Aaron had offered to give him a hand putting it together, and they were making good progress.
Plus, it was a distraction from Xavier’s meeting with Sarah in a bit, though he realized that he didn’t feel the usual dread when he thought about seeing her.
He was starting to get used to their meetings, even if he still came out of them feeling drained.
Slowly, he could feel himself starting to open up.
Beyond just the question-and-answer sessions they had with her pulling information out of him, he was freely volunteering stuff to her now, glad to get it off his chest after so long holding it back.
There were still so many painful memories to go through.
He hadn’t even really talked much to her about how his family had reacted after he had returned from service without his brother in tow, but he was getting somewhere.
The nightmares had still been pretty bad, but he figured that was a given, at least for the time being, as he brought up all these painful memories again.
He was actually beginning to think they’d get easier, lessen in time.
Sarah had already given him a few skills to help manage the immediate aftermath of his dreams when he woke up—grounding techniques to keep him from spinning out of control and to remind him where he was and that he was safe here.
And more than anything, he could tell how happy it made Hannah, which was reason enough to keep going.
When Xavier struggled with motivation, he would just look at her and remind himself why he was doing this in the first place: to become the kind of man she deserved—without worry, without doubt, without second-guessing herself for being with him.
It wasn’t her job to put those pieces of him back together and he didn’t want to become a burden or a regret for her. It was his responsibility to fix himself, to do the work and put in the time to be whole again. He had to want to be whole again. And thanks to Hannah, he did.
Just as Xavier was about to put down his now empty coffee mug and get back to the cold plunge tub, Aaron brought up something that made him stop in his tracks.
“You know what Bailey said to me yesterday?” he asked.
Xavier raised his eyebrows at him. “No idea.”
“She told me to keep an eye on that Jed guy,” he replied, frowning.
Xavier paused. He’d had a similar conversation with Hannah the night before, too.
She had tried to make it sound as casual as possible, but he could tell from her expressions and body language just how much it bothered her.
Jed had said some stuff to the women, she’d told him, that had given them reason to wonder if his motivations for being at the sanctuary were entirely pure.
She wouldn’t go into the details, but she just asked Xavier to look out for Jed to see if there was anything strange that he noticed about him, too.
“What did she say?” Xavier asked. Had the women been talking about him among themselves or had they all just overheard him make a few off comments and wanted to do something about it?
Either way, his ears perked up. He knew how guys could be when they thought there was nobody important listening.
Unfortunately, for some men, nobody important included women.
“Apparently, she was helping Hannah and River put up lights outside and he approached them and made a comment about Sarah. It had them wondering why he was really here,” Aaron explained.
“Bailey hadn’t really had contact with Jed before that, but she said Hannah and River were uncomfortable around him. ”
“Hannah mentioned something similar to me. She doesn’t really think he fits here, like he’s putting up a fake front for some reason. What do you think of him?” Xavier asked, his eyebrows drawing together.
“I haven’t spent much time with the guy either,” he admitted.
“I’ve seen him standing around some outside, not talking to anyone, just looking around.
But nothing to make me think something was going on.
” Aaron shrugged. “However, River and Hannah are around the guests more than we are, so if they feel something’s not quite right, I’m inclined to believe them. What about you?”
Xavier sighed. “I don’t know, I haven’t really been around him either. I met him when he arrived and he recognized me as an owner, which I have to admit was odd. That’s not something we advertise outright,” he answered thoughtfully.
“If the women are worried enough to bring it to our attention, we need to mention it to Cade and Lawson.”
“River told Hannah that Cade’s already aware. I’ll bring it up to Lawson when I see him later.”
Aaron nodded. “Sounds good. We all need to be alert.”
“When I first saw him, I thought maybe I knew him from somewhere. He had a familiar ‘feel’ to him. He kind of reminded me of my brother.”
Aaron cocked his head. “Your brother?”
“Max,” Xavier replied. It felt strange to say his name out loud after holding it in for so long. “The look in his eyes, the way he carried himself.”
Aaron nodded again, waiting for Xavier to continue.
Xavier could tell that Aaron knew how big of a deal it was for him to bring up his brother like that out of nowhere.
It wouldn’t have surprised Xavier if Lawson had mentioned Max to Aaron and filled him in on everything that had happened to allow Xavier’s family ranch to fall into their hands, leading them to create Warrior Peak Sanctuary in the first place.
It used to hurt to even think of him. And there was still a deep, raw sadness when Xavier considered the fact his brother was gone—really, truly gone.
But he couldn’t keep hiding from it for the rest of his life, no matter how tempting it might have been.
He was ready to face it. To talk about him, to remember more than just the last few brutal moments of his existence.
Max had been so much more than his death, and Xavier was making a point to try to put that first in his mind.
He had been talking to Hannah a lot about him, which had helped.
Just simple stories about the two of them growing up, nothing serious, but she listened intently like he was reading from the next great American novel.
She peppered him with questions, encouraging him to keep going, and Xavier found himself chuckling fondly at some of the memories he hadn’t touched in years.
“Nothing out of place turned up on the initial check run on him when he arrived or else it would have been brought to our attention immediately, and he wouldn’t still be here. If he uses a different name than Jed Black, though, then we have no way of knowing.”
“Since he seems legit on paper, what do you think we should do?” Aaron asked.
“I guess we keep an eye on him,” he replied. “Make sure he’s not up to something that we’ve been missing.”
Xavier and Aaron turned their attention back to the tub and worked for the better part of another hour before Xavier checked his watch.
“I should go get cleaned up before my meeting with Sarah,” he remarked. “Can I leave the rest with you for now?”
“Sure, I’ll take it from here,” Aaron agreed. “But if this ends up a hot tub by accident, then it’s on you.”
Xavier grinned. “I have faith in you,” he assured him.
Aaron paused for a moment, as if considering his next words. “Everything going okay with Sarah?” he asked.
Xavier shrugged. “Guess so.”
“You seem better,” Aaron replied.
Xavier was surprised to hear that. He didn’t think it would show that quickly, at least not to anyone outside of Hannah.
“I do feel better,” he admitted. Damn, he meant it, too—that was a new one for him.
He had been doing such a good job covering up his real emotions for so long, he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be honest about them.
He should have started working with Sarah a long time ago, but at least he was doing it now.
“And how are things going with Hannah?” Aaron asked.
Xavier chuckled. “Hey, at least let me keep some things to myself,” he protested, holding his hands up.
“We’ve all seen you coming out of her cabin every day this week,” Aaron pointed out. “If you want to keep it a secret, you’re not doing a very good job at it.”
“Point taken,” Xavier replied with a grin. With that, he said his farewells to Aaron and headed back up to his room.
He supposed he would have to talk to Lawson about what was going on between him and Hannah.
He’d been putting off the conversation because of how angry Lawson had gotten when he learned about Xavier kissing his sister last year.
But knowing Hannah left the lodge with him the night of the crash, Lawson had to know they were together.
He wasn’t exactly sure what he would call their relationship, being so new, but he loved it. He loved coming back to her cabin every single night, spending an evening with her talking and laughing and…well, the rest of it, too.
He had waited so long to be with her, and now that he was finally getting to enjoy that closeness, he would do anything he could to preserve it. Including taking her seriously with what she had said about Jed, even if he wasn’t sure he saw much of it himself.
But he knew Hannah wasn’t the kind of person to just start pointing fingers for no reason.
She had worked with plenty of people like Jed over the time she had been at the sanctuary.
So if she had doubts about his true intentions, he believed that they came from a place of real discomfort.
He would need to talk to her a little more about it this evening, reassure her that he and the other guys were looking into the situation.
It was a warm day, now that spring was starting to come around, and he’d ended up pretty sweaty after all the work he’d been doing. He didn’t want to subject Sarah to that and he had some time before his appointment, so he headed up to his room to grab a change of clothes to wear after he showered.
But when he reached his door—the door he knew he had locked, just like he always did—he found it pushed open a few inches. Again.