Chapter Four
Sarah took a deep breath as she hovered in the doorway to the dining room. This should have been a calm, relaxing part of her day, a chance to unwind with the people she cared about, and catch up with others about things going on at the lodge.
Instead, she knew she needed to talk to Toby after what had transpired earlier in his therapy session.
The way she had reacted had been so unprofessional and she felt awful about it.
He had every right to be upset by her behavior and she needed to make things right.
She didn’t want to be the cause of a setback in his recovery.
Smoothing down her skirt, Sarah walked over to Toby, who was serving himself up a generous portion of mac and cheese from the large pot on the table.
He glanced over at her as she drew closer to him, and she could see the annoyance on his face.
She didn’t blame him. He’d come to her for help, after all, and she had freaked out on him.
He was perfectly within his rights to be annoyed or angry at her for what had happened.
“Hey, Toby, do you have a minute?” she asked him and glanced around, making sure no one else was approaching. She wanted to apologize to him but she didn’t want everyone else to know what was going on.
He sighed and put down his plate, turning to face her.
“Sure,” he replied. The current residents at Warrior Peak were a small enough group of people that, if someone wanted to talk, it was better to just get it over with and have a conversation with them.
It was useless to try to avoid them, and he knew that as well as anyone.
“Thanks,” she murmured, and she twisted her hands into a knot in front of her, trying to remember what she’d practiced in her head before she’d come over. “Um, I wanted to apologize about what happened earlier,” she explained. “In your session.”
“Right,” he replied, eyeing her with obvious doubt.
She took a deep breath, and forced herself to keep going.
“When you got emotional,” she continued.
“It triggered something in me. And I know that’s not fair.
I know you come to me for help because you want guidance and to work through everything that’s happened to you.
It’s not your fault that some of what we were talking about brought my unpleasant memories to the surface. ”
She realized she was rambling, and slowed herself down, taking a deep breath, trying to ground herself in the moment. The smell of the food around her, the chatter of people filling the room. See? She was okay. She could do this. She wasn’t going to start freaking out again, not a chance in hell.
“It triggered my flight response and that’s why I shut down like I did,” she went on.
“I had a panic attack, and I know that’s not helpful for you in the work that you’re doing.
I should have been able to handle my own triggers better, but I need you to know that they had nothing to do with you.
It was all on me. Your emotions are completely valid, and I apologize for how I reacted. ”
He nodded slowly. She could see some of the doubt and irritation starting to edge away now that she had explained it to him.
“I know that wasn’t an appropriate interaction for us to have as a patient and a therapist, and I understand completely if you’d like to seek care elsewhere,” she said.
“There are a few great therapists I can put you in touch with if that’s how you’d like to move forward.
But, if you’re willing to give me another chance, I would love to pick up where we left off. ”
Finally, a smile crossed his face, and he shook his head. “I don’t want to work with anyone else,” he replied. “I’d like to keep working with you, Sarah. If you think it’s going to be okay for you.”
“It will be,” she promised him, a flood of relief washing through her.
She wasn’t sure how she would have felt if he had accepted her offer to set him up with a new therapist, but she was relieved he was willing to let her try again.
He clearly had some level of trust in her, despite how messy things had gotten before.
“Thanks, Sarah,” he told her. “Now, if you don’t mind, I want to have some dinner.”
“Of course,” she replied. “Don’t let me stop you.”
And, as she stood there, she realized that her stomach was grumbling. After the messed-up session and the way the rest of her morning had gone, she’d lost her appetite. But now, it seemed to be coming back. The food smelled so good.
She grabbed herself a plate and started to load it up, and then went to join the rest of the staff sitting with the current guests at the long table that ran down the center of the dining room.
She slid in next to Hannah, who was sitting beside Xavier, as she always was these days.
Opposite her sat Aaron, and then Cade and River, who were chatting about something that caused River’s cheeks to flush.
Sarah smiled at the love that shined brightly from the couple.
They deserved it after what they’d been through the year before at the lodge.
There were a couple of people missing, though.
Bailey would still be down in Blue Ridge finishing her shift at the police station, but Lawson seemed to be absent.
That was unusual. Sarah glanced around, wondering if she was missing something, but if she was, she couldn’t figure it out.
Maybe he had just gotten called away for something more important than a meal?
She tried to focus on the food in front of her, not letting her mind wander off in too many directions. Her thoughts drifted back to the text he’d received. Hopefully, it wasn’t bad news and Lawson was just busy with something around the property. She’d have to catch up to him later.
She wanted to check in with him, though, and tell him that she’d smoothed things out with Toby and that he still wanted to work with her. That would prove that she didn’t need to take a break, right?
Sarah ate quietly, glad to just be surrounded by people she knew she could trust. She was starting to feel a whole lot better compared to the mess that she was earlier in the day and she could almost convince herself that she was already putting it behind her.
That was what she had to believe, anyway.
“Yeah, I mean, I’ve seen it reported in a couple of places…”
Sarah turned her head to tune in to the conversation happening down the table. Kieran Abbott, one of the new arrivals, had his brow furrowed as he recounted it to Xavier, sitting next to him.
“And how many people did you say had gone missing?” Xavier asked, sounding concerned.
“I think it was a half-dozen women in the last few months,” he replied. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped it a couple of times to pull up an article. “Yeah, look. This is the piece I saw on it…”
Kieran handed his phone to Xavier, since he was in the center of the group chatting.
Everyone close leaned in to get a better look at what was written on the screen in front of them.
The article, it seemed, covered a spate of vanishings along Highway 50—one of the roads that ran by the Warrior Peak Sanctuary.
The highway ran from California to Maryland and was a primary state highway in North Carolina; actually, it was known as NC 50 there.
The pictures of the women who must have been among the missing, looking innocent and free, smiled out from the screen.
“I had no idea,” Hannah muttered, and Sarah could hear the fear in her voice. They had all seen so much darkness, so much pain this last year or so, it must have been hard for Hannah to hear about something like this. Sarah gave her hand a quick squeeze under the table, silently comforting her.
“Yeah, I saw it covered in a few places,” Kieran replied with a shrug as Xavier handed his phone back and Kieran tucked it back into his pocket.
“A bunch of women have gone missing along that road. I don’t know if they think it’s the same person, or maybe just the weather that’s taking them out, but…
” He trailed off, leaving the possibilities hanging in the air.
“Isn’t there a section of it somewhere called the loneliest highway in America?” Hannah remarked. “I mean, if someone was going to pick a place to hunt for vulnerable women, that would be the one to go for.”
“That’s Nevada actually. But, I agree,” Xavier added.
“It’s still pretty secluded up in these mountains.
Not a lot of places to stop on the winding roads.
It could just be the weather, but the fact that it’s mostly women going missing…
it sets off my alarm bells. I’m going to do a little research, see if there’s anything else going on that we might not know about. ”
“I’m sorry for bringing the mood down,” Kieran replied, shaking his head. “I just thought you guys should know.”
“No, it’s good for us to know,” Xavier assured him. “We’ll be extra careful from here on out. Keep an eye out for any women traveling by themselves, and make sure they’re safe. If they’re planning on coming here to the lodge and they’re alone, maybe offer them lifts so they’re not driving alone.”
Sarah glanced over to River, whose face had paled.
Cade had found River on the side of the road not too far from there, and Sarah could tell from her expression that she was pondering the possibility of what might have happened if she hadn’t been so lucky as to meet him.
Would she have ended up being a target? The thought of it made Sarah’s stomach twist into a knot.
She had become so fond of River since she had arrived here, and the very idea of her getting hurt was more than she could take.
“Everyone, keep your wits about you if you’re out there by yourselves,” Xavier added, looking around the table. “It’s probably nothing, but I don’t want any of you getting hurt.”
The conversation moved on, as Hannah shifted to something more upbeat—talking about her flower beds and the horses. Soon enough the dour faces turned into smiles, and laughter carried through the room. Leave it to Hannah and her bright personality to turn things around.
Soon, dinner was through and Sarah hung around to help Xavier clean up. As they were collecting and stacking dishes, her skin started to prickle. She could feel him watching her.
“How are you doing?” he asked her. “I saw you talking with Toby earlier.”
She sighed, and glanced over at him. “Did Lawson tell you talk to me?”
“He told me to keep an eye on you while he was out.”
“Where is he, anyway? I haven’t seen him since this morning,” she asked, frowning.
“Running errands in town,” he replied vaguely. Did he know what Lawson was really doing, or did he just not want to tell her? Either way, she knew that was all he was going to say.
“Okay, well, I’m fine,” she replied firmly. “I don’t need Lawson telling everyone else my business—”
“He wasn’t telling me your business, Sarah,” he said, shaking his head like he was disappointed in her that she thought that way about Lawson. “He was just worried about you. Wanted to make sure you were doing okay, that’s all.”
Now, she felt properly chastised. “I’m okay,” she sighed. “I… It’s just been a difficult few months, that’s all.”
“I know,” he agreed. “It has been for all of us. But you know you can always speak with one of us if it’s getting to be too much for you, right? You don’t have to keep it to yourself. No one will fault you. Everyone needs a helping hand now and then.”
“I know,” she responded, and she managed a smile. “Thanks, Xavier. I’m alright. I needed to clear something up with Toby, but everything’s good now.”
“You’re a great therapist, never doubt that,” he told her. “He’s lucky to have you. We all are.”
She smiled again, this time more sincerely. “Come on, stop trying to butter me up and let’s get these tables cleaned,” she said playfully, and they began moving the dishes to the kitchen, where River and Hannah were on wash-up duty.
When they were all done, Xavier headed down to the office to finish up some work he’d started before dinner, and Hannah and River walked Sarah back toward her little cabin.
It was nothing special, but she enjoyed it much more than the room she stayed in at the lodge.
She was glad to have a place just for her, that she could call home.
“It’s such a beautiful night,” Hannah remarked, tipping back her head to catch the last rays of the sun before they dipped behind the mountain.
“It really is,” Sarah agreed, and she glanced over at River. She could tell just from the look on her face that she was preoccupied with the conversation they’d had earlier, about the missing women.
She nudged her gently, pulling her back into the moment. “You okay, River?”
River blinked, and then nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. “I’m fine,” she assured them. “I just… I can’t stop thinking about those poor women who went missing. It could have been me, if Cade hadn’t been there to find me.”
“But it wasn’t you,” Sarah reminded her. “You’re okay. You’re safe here.”
“I know.” River sighed, kicking at a loose rock on the ground as they walked. “But—but so many of those women weren’t. It doesn’t feel fair, you know?”
They reached Sarah’s cabin, and she paused, looking at River with a concerned furrow in her brow. She could tell when her friend was struggling, and it was obvious from the look on her face that she was having a hard time holding herself together right now.
“Xavier said he’s going to look into it,” Hannah reminded her. “If there is anything going on out there, we’ll know about it soon enough. And then we can handle it. Right?”
“Right,” River agreed, though she sounded far from sure about it. Sarah unlocked the door to her cabin, but before she stepped inside, she felt a cold shiver run along her spine.
She wasn’t sure what it was, but all this talk of what had been happening with those missing women had her feeling out of sorts. She couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was that was going through her head right now, but she knew she didn’t like it.
And she knew, all too clearly, that it reminded her of what she had felt when she had been sitting opposite Jed in those therapy meetings. And look at how that had ended.
“Anyway, you should get some rest,” Hannah told her, leaning over to give her a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow,” Sarah returned, trying to match Hannah’s bright smile. She didn’t want to be a downer, and she didn’t want it getting back to Xavier or Lawson that she seemed twisted up about anything, either.
Or else they were going to make her take that break that she wanted to avoid more than anything in the world. And the thought of giving up—or even taking a break from—her work, the one thing that was keeping her distracted right now, was more than she could bear.