Chapter 17 #2
He chuckled. “The savages are getting restless. You and Isabella going to be okay with pizza again?”
“Only if you allow me to buy it.”
“But you bought lunch. It’s my turn to pay.”
“We’ll go halfsies.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Deal.”
She turned and made her way down the hall and stopped in front of Sophia’s room. “Bella, come get your things out of the front room, okay?” They didn’t need to be making a mess.
Sam paused outside Sophia’s door, the weight of Liam’s words settling deep. This wasn’t just about safety or duty. It felt personal.
She clenched her jaw, reminding herself not to get ahead of things. But part of her wondered if letting go—even a little—might be what she needed.
Liam lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling, processing everything that had happened today. How close he’d come to losing his niece and two witnesses. He replayed the day over and over in his head, trying to find what he’d missed. And each time, he came up with nothing.
Lying here second-guessing himself was getting him nowhere. He needed to get some rest so he could start fresh tomorrow.
He rolled over to his side and tried to clear his head. No more thinking about work.
The memory of having Samantha wrapped in his arms came to the forefront. The way she’d felt in his arms.
You don’t treat me like a job. You treat me like I’m something worth caring about.
That wasn’t part of the job description. He was her handler; his job was to protect. Nothing more. He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t need to be feeling things. Especially for his witness.
It needed to be pushed down into a box and shoved far out of reach. He had Sophia, and that was all he needed. To focus on raising her and being the best uncle-slash-dad he could be.
Despite what had happened between him and Sam, Liam didn’t need to add a romantic relationship into his life while juggling work and parenting. Especially a relationship with a witness.
There were so many rules against that. He wouldn’t be able to properly keep her safe if he let her in. But he’d already started letting her in. He needed to keep things professional. Letting his guard down could be disastrous.
Also, if she wasn’t a believer, that was an even bigger reason to hit the brakes. No matter how much he might be attracted to her, if they weren’t on the same page regarding God, they were ultimately on different paths.
His brain understood; he just needed to get his heart on the same page.
Convinced he wasn’t going to get to sleep anytime soon, he flicked on the front-room light, moved the coffee table out of the way, and pushed his body with an intense workout of slow, punishing push-ups, squat holds that set his thighs on fire, and planks that shook his core—every move deliberate, silent, and fueled by the need to burn through the storm in his head.
His muscles ached from pushing his body so hard. A hot shower would relax him, and maybe his mind, so he could get some sleep.
He grabbed underwear, blue-plaid pajama pants, and a T-shirt from the dryer—a chore he’d meant to do tonight—and headed to the hall bathroom. He’d shower in there to avoid disturbing Sam.
He dropped his chin to his chest. This was Sophia’s bathroom. Which meant the only available soap smelled like watermelon. Note to self: Hide a bottle of his soap in here for the future. Hopefully, the fruitiness would wear off before he had to go into the office.
Once he was dressed, he opened the bathroom door and padded down the hallway toward the kitchen. The light was on. He was certain he’d turned it off after walking through from the laundry room.
Sam was seated at the kitchen table, a cup of water in front of her. Her dark-blonde hair, which was normally pulled back in a tight braid, was loose and flowed down her back and across her shoulders. Smooth and silky. She looked at him as he entered.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” He leaned against the cabinet nearest the door.
She shook her head. “I was worried about you not being able to sleep with all the snoring, but I don’t see the dog.”
“Yeah, she’s in the room with the girls.” He chuckled. “I insisted.”
“I hope it’s okay I got myself a cup of water.” She nodded at the cup in her hands.
“It’s fine. Help yourself to anything you want. Soph has some chamomile tea she swears helps her sleep. Would you like me to make some for you?” He opened the cupboard and pulled out the box of tea. He’d thought about trying it if the workout didn’t relax him.
“You don’t have to do that.” She fidgeted with the cup. “Water is fine.”
He pulled the electric kettle from the cabinet and set it next to the box of tea. Apparently, microwaving water to make tea was sacrilegious. “Well, it’s here if you want it.”
“Thanks.”
He made his own glass of water and took a seat across from her at the small table. They sat in companionable silence. It was comfortable. He hadn’t had that in a long time.
“When I found out Kayleigh was going to prison and that I needed to step up and be Sophia’s guardian, I was more scared than I’d ever been in my life.
And that’s bad, considering what I do for a living.
I’ve stared down the barrel of a gun, but that seemed like a cakewalk compared to raising a teenager. ”
She looked up from her cup.
“That was nothing compared to the fear I experienced today.” He was being vulnerable right now, and he couldn’t explain why he felt the need to do so.
“I’m sorry.” Sam bit her bottom lip.
His heart constricted. “I didn’t say that to make you feel bad.
I wasn’t afraid for just Sophia. I never expected to be in a situation like this, where my personal life mixed with my professional life.
” He wasn’t sure exactly what he was saying, but this was different than anything he’d experienced before.
Today had changed his perspective. The line between his duty and his feelings had blurred, shifting the way he saw everything.
“I wish none of this had happened. Sophia would be safe. Maybe Bella and I should find somewhere else to stay. Is there another marshal that can take over?” She returned her gaze to the cup of water in her hand.
He shook his head. “No. I need to see this through. Not just because you’re my assigned witness, but because I need to know that you and Bella are okay.”
There was so much in that statement that he couldn’t explain. Why was his need to personally be in control of their safety so strong?
“I mean, God is ultimately in control, but I need to do everything I can to make sure nothing happens to the three of you.”
She looked up and studied his face. “God is in control? He’s got a loose grip on that control, if my history is any indication.”
“That’s the god, little g, of this world talking. Scripture says his purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. He doesn’t want you to see how truly gracious and full of mercy God is. He’s going to do everything he can to keep you as far away from God as he can.”
“Well, it feels like little-g god is winning—in my life, at least.”
“That’s what little-g god wants you to believe.
But God is with us the whole time, and you can rest in the fact that He is working all things out for the good of those that love Him.
It’s gonna hurt in the moment, but one day, you’ll be able to look back and see His fingerprints all over it, leading you to where you were supposed to be.
We aren’t promised an easy ride, just help during the ride. God is with you in everything.”
“I’m not sure I can believe that.”
“It’s okay to have questions. Dig into that tattered Bible you packed and see if you can find those answers.”
She pursed her lips. “I picked it up last night. Started reading the gospel of Mark. But it talks about all these things Jesus did for other people, and all I can think is, why didn’t He help me when I needed it?”
“Hmm. The Gospels are a good start, but maybe you should also read about Joseph or Paul, people who went through tough things but still held on to God. I’m not saying it’s easy to understand, but remembering their struggles helps me hold on when nothing else makes sense.
And I’m here to help you through it too—no pressure, just a hand to hold if you want it. ”
“Thanks.” She stood and placed her cup in the dishwasher, signaling the end of the conversation.
He prayed she’d let go of her anger and see how great God really was.