3. Bonnie
Age 10
“Bonnie, go to your room,” Daddy’s voice booms down the hallway as I try to stand my ground at the bottom of the stairs. I roll my eyes subtly, crossing my arms over my chest, and consider stomping my foot. I know it’s a silly game to play with him because, ultimately, he always wins. But I hate obeying his every command.
I’m ten years old now, and I still have to hide away.
It turns out that two years ago, when I got to stand at the top of the stairs and watch Puck’s arrival, it was a one-time thing. It’s because he was staying, and Daddy wouldn’t be able to hide me from him.
But since that moment, every visitor, like normal, I’m banished to my room when King and Dax get to stay. Even Puck is allowed to roam about like normal, even though most of the time, he will come and sit with me.
I wish I had more. More freedom, more chances, more friends. More everything.
I just want to fly away to Neverland, not stare at the four walls of my bedroom.
And I hate that Puck always feels the need to come with me. He shouldn’t be restricted to my bedroom whilst I’m stropping.
It’s that thought that always stirs my defiance.
I stand on the bottom step, my hand now gripping the bannister hard.
“Why, Daddy? King doesn’t have to go to his room!” At this point, I do stomp my foot. I know shouting at him isn’t a good idea, but I can’t help it. Sometimes I can’t keep my emotions in.
“Because King is earning his place in this family, little girl,” he spits, and I flinch.
“What does that mean?” I ask, genuinely confused.
“Go to your room.”
“What do you mean, Daddy?” I scream again, and King, Dax, and Puck all appear in the entrance hall at the commotion.
Tears have started to fall down my cheeks, and my knuckles are white from the force I have on the handrail.
“You are a little girl, Bonnie. A weak, pathetic, useless little girl, and I have absolutely no time or patience for you to be running around, whining about everything and throwing fucking tantrums when I have an empire to run.”
His shout is loud, and I fall back onto the step behind me as all three of my boys take steps closer.
I think that is the most Daddy has ever said to me before.
“Daddy, I-” I start to say, but his final words stop me.
“You’re not wanted, Bonnie. Go to your room.”
He doesn’t even look at me. The whole time, he didn’t even look at me. My heart cracks in two, and I know he doesn’t mean right now. He means ever.
I have never been wanted.
I’m not stupid. I may be a girl, but I am not little, weak, pathetic, or useless.
I run up the stairs, tripping on the top step, and crash to my knees. As a jolt of pain stings my kneecap, I’m hauled up by two big, comforting arms and carried forward. Turning to look behind me, I see Daddy shouting at King and Dax to stay right where they are. I don’t miss the pain in their eyes as I’m dragged away from sight.
Puck stops at my door, opening it slowly and letting me walk in. I drop onto my bed, the purple duvet clouding my body, and look at my hands resting in my lap.
“Want to read Peter Pan?” he asks quietly, and I shake my head. Even Peter Pan couldn’t cheer me up right now.
“You can go,” I whisper, looking up at him with a smile. It’s not fair to him that he has to stay here locked up with me too.
“You know I’m not going anywhere, Bon.” He smiles and walks over to my TV on the wall, pressing the power button and hitting play on the scratched and overused DVD.
The opening credits for Peter Pan begin, and I lie down on my bed, letting my tears subside as I get lost in Jeremy Sumpter”s eyes. He will always be the best Peter Pan to me.
Puck sits beside me, stretching out his long legs over the top of my duvet, and rests his back against the headboard. It’s a bit squishy in my single bed, but I curl up into a ball next to him to give him more room.
Eventually, my eyes feel heavy, probably from all the crying, and I close them, listening to the TV instead.
About twenty minutes later, Puck’s voice fills the quiet room, but I keep my eyes closed and feign unconsciousness, because if he wanted to tell me when I was awake, he would have.
“You’re not a little girl, Bon. You’re bright, funny, pretty, and strong.”
My stomach clenches, and I try my hardest to stay as still as possible.
“Carlo is an ugly man who can’t see anything as pure as you. Nothing is your fault, Bonbon. And me, King, and Dax will have your back, always. I’ll protect you until we can get out of here. Until our Neverland.”
I wish I could give him the biggest hug ever.