23. Puck
Iwake up in a concrete box. Three grey walls, and on the other side to make up the square, is a metal barred gate, sealing me inside.
I hear people talking, metal bars clanging, and after stepping close to the gate, I look around to see at least three flights of the same thing over and over again.
Just rows and rows of cells, occupied by men in grey jumpsuits.
In my cell is a mattress on the floor and a toilet bowl, with a grey jumpsuit and towel resting on the bed.
What the fuck?
For hours, I don’t see anyone but for the people in their cells. I don’t speak to them, and they, in part, seem to ignore me. I have no idea where I am, but I’m keeping my cards close to my chest for now.
Where the hell am I, and what has happened to Bonnie and King?
I spend my day torturing myself with thoughts of Bonnie dead and King fighting his way out of Carlo’s men’s arms, when hours later, there”s a commotion outside of my gate.
There’s a dozen or so men walking up the flight of stairs and towards my cell, and over one of their arms, I spot King draped limply over a shoulder. Is he alive?
The man carries King to the cell next to mine and throws him in. I hear the crash of King’s body on the mattress that must be in there.
But I was so distracted by King’s appearance that I missed his father appearing right in front of my gate. I step back a little in surprise, but also a little in fear.
What has this man done?
“Puck?” Carlo questions, as if he’s not even sure that’s my name, but I know he knows it is. Still, I stay silent.
“I hope you enjoy living out the rest of your days here,” he says smugly and goes to step away.
“Where’s Bonnie?” I question, a deep determination in my voice. I need to know that she’s okay.
“Ahh yes, I almost forgot. I couldn’t leave without telling you, now could I.”
My brow furrows at him, and I step towards the gate, curling my fingers around the bars.
“Bonnie is dead.”
My world stops.
My heart stops beating.
My lungs stop producing breath.
My world literally. Fucking. Stops.
Carlo laughs and steps closer to me, so close that if the gate wasn’t between us, we’d be toe to toe.
And in a mirthless, vicious whisper, Carlo breaks my silence.
“She was a useless piece of work that had no purpose in this world. And now she’s dead. And so is your baby that was growing in her stomach.”
I drop to the floor. Instantly. My knees literally buckle, unable to carry my weight. Unable to carry the burden of this news.
He could be lying, but I don”t think he is. Why would he need to lie?
“Goodbye, Puck.”
And with that, Carlo and his men leave.
Bonnie was pregnant? But we were so careful, we used a condom. Why didn’t she tell me? Oh God, what happened to her? Or is Carlo lying? Is he trying to be cruel and sink the knife in deeper?
Tears fall down my face, wetting my cheeks and my shirt for hours and hours. I sit at the floor of the bars and cry, helpless and useless.
My Bonnie is dead. My baby is dead.
My whole reason for being is dead.
Hours pass, when randomly, the gate that was keeping me captive unlocks, and slowly, I climb to my feet, letting them drag me to the cell next door.
I watch King and wait for him to wake. Praying that he does. I can’t lose everyone.
He might know more about Bonnie. He might know if she was pregnant or if she’s still alive.
Something.
He’s all I’ve got now.
And eventually, his eyes open, and they scatter around the cell, just like mine did, and then his eyes find mine. My heart cracks in two, looking into his eyes that reflect Bonnie’s so much. Only, his are now a dark black as opposed to the usual green.
I clear my throat, finding my voice, even though it’s hoarse and painful.
“Some sort of prison. Fuck knows who’s in here, but it’s some sort of secret organisation the Districts have been working on.”
This information is part guess and part what I’ve heard the other cellmates discuss as the day has gone by. But I don’t think we’re ever truly going to know what this place is, or if there’s a way out.
King is quiet for a long time, studying my face, my red eyes, the defeat that has overcome me.
“They killed her, man,” he says finally, his voice cracking, tears of his own trailing down his face.
“I know.” I walk over to him, dropping myself onto his mattress and holding him. “I know.”
Since that day,I never had much reason for living.
King got out after a year, but I was still stuck in my cell for days on end. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned to months, and months turned to years.
The number of times I debated killing myself and ending the torture for good is unending.
But the only thing that kept me going was vengeance.
King had promised me that once he’d kill Carlo, I’d be free, and we could make amends. Try to find a new way of living.
Most days, it wasn”t enough, but then I think of Bonnie and her terrifying last moments. How scared she must’ve felt, how hopeless and lost and horrified.
Our baby that never got to grow and see the world.
That never got to see me or its mum.
I never had much reason for living. But nine years later, a young girl came into the District prison and changed everything.
She wasn’t sweet nor innocent. But she was treated poorly by those who should’ve loved her. Discarded by a father who should’ve been there for her.
She needed someone, and I was it.
I knew Bonnie was looking over me. I knew there was a purpose for why I had survived nine lonely years in this prison.
It was so I could protect Theodora Harlow in a way I could never protect Bonnie Rhivers.
And when my time had finally come and I was bleeding out on the cold concrete floor, Theo’s small body crying over me, I didn’t feel an ounce of sadness or regret.
I saved Theo in a way I could never save Bonnie.
And now, after years of turmoil and pain, I can finally be with her. With our baby.
I can finally be with my family and have the freedom of our lives.
We can finally have our Neverland.