Chapter 41
Well…fuck.
I think…I think I may have lost my grip on this situation. Not that I ever really had one, but…I sure as fuck don’t now.
This is…this is a problem. This is…not good.
“Aiden?” My head shoots up when I hear Dolly call my name, and I realize I’ve been staring at the same section of wood on her kitchen floor for God knows how long instead of eating my breakfast, something she’s probably noticed. Cypress certainly has.
When I look to where he’s seated across from me, the only thing obscuring his giant grin is the cup of coffee he’s bringing to his mouth.
Everything else about him, from his styled hair beneath his hat to his black clothing, is back to flawless after he’d cleaned himself up this morning at the same time I did. Albeit separately. Which was wise.
If he’s got his hat on, I suppose I could, too.
Might make me feel less like all of my thoughts are being read by the two people at the kitchen table with me.
Although, it might also seem odd to put it on now when I’ve had it off and I’m not on my way out the door.
Maybe I should be. Maybe I need some air. Maybe…
My eyes sweep Cypress up and down as he leans back in his chair, looking perfectly at ease. God damn him, but God, he looks good.
Does he always look this good? Yes, murmurs a voice in the back of my head, the same one that a moment later says, Yes, you fucking have when I wonder if I’ve simply not noticed before today.
Should’ve found someone while I was in Soldana.
That would’ve taken the edge off. Although when I would’ve done that, I’m not sure.
From the moment I saw him in the saloon, the vast majority, if not all, of my thoughts and my time have been taken up by Cypress.
And that is unlikely to change in the immediate future if he keeps…
He takes another sip of his coffee, watches me track the swallow right down to the couple open buttons at the top of his shirt where some of his chest is exposed.
“Am I going to have to spray you two with water?”
Both Cypress and I turn our heads to Dolly. “What?” I ask first, catching Cypress brushing a few drops of coffee off his shirt out of the corner of my eye. Serves him right…and maybe he’ll have to change again now.
No, thinking about that is not helping.
“Lord help me,” Dolly snaps, getting up from her chair and pointing a finger my way.
“You go anywhere looking at him like that and you’re going to be fined for public indecency.
And you…” She turns her finger on Cypress.
“Stop tormenting him until he figures out how to do it back.” She switches again to me.
“Aiden, you’re still welcome to my books. ”
“Why does everyone think—I know how to do it back,” I argue, feeling my face heat.
“He certainly does,” Cypress says around a chuckle.
In response, Dolly gives an exasperated sigh. “Well, I’m happy to hear that’s not the problem, but since I can barely hear myself think in here with you two panting at each other, should I lock you both in a room until you figure out what is?”
“Aiden? Thoughts?” Cypress turns to me, a perfectly polite expression on his face as if it’s completely normal for a woman old enough to be our mother implying we should fuck some sense into ourselves.
“Confinement won’t be necessary,” I assure them. “Unless it’s what’s needed to come up with a serious plan.”
“A plan?” Dolly repeats, glancing at Cypress, who for some irritating reason only shrugs.
“You’re the one who said running isn’t a strategy,” I remind him.
“Did I?” he says, sounding contemplative. “Hard to recall. Been so long.”
“It was two days ago.”
“Was probably sharper then.”
I put my head in my hands, praying for patience before I say, “Cy, we need a plan. We’ve got our friend from last night out there somewhere, along with his friends, and we’ve got Maddock looking for us.”
“Speaking of which…” Dolly says, bringing herself back into the conversation.
“While you two boys were sleeping in this morning, or”—she glances between us—“whatever it is you were doing, I went into town.” Her gaze focuses on Cypress.
“Got a telegram back from the friend I was waiting on. She said rumor is Maddock’s mama and daddy cut him off. ”
Cypress and I exchange a look. “They did what?” I ask.
“They cut him off. Reached their limit from the sounds of it and disinherited him after the mess in Soldana. Now everything will go to his younger brother. I’ll bet the reward they’re offering on those posters is more than he even has left.”
“Maddock has a younger brother?” I try to think if he ever mentioned a sibling, although it’s not as if we spent a lot of time chatting. “How old?”
“No more than four by the sounds of it,” Dolly replies. “Must have made a backup when their firstborn started proving rotten.” She catches my expression and gives me a sympathetic smile. “Might sound harsh but that’s the way some of them think. Babies are part of business.”
I frown, though I suppose she’s right, then look to Cypress who is watching me with interest. “What?”
“Do you…” he starts, setting his mug down before folding his hands in front of him. “Do you want children?”
“Oh for God’s sake,” Dolly says, taking the words right out of my mouth.
“You said we were supposed to be planning,” Cypress mutters, picking his mug back up and taking a sip, sulking. “We can talk about it later.”
“Getting quite a list, aren’t you?” I ask, choosing to focus on the part of me that was caught off guard by the question rather than the part that would like to know his answer. “Of things to address later?”
“Growing by the minute,” he replies with a wink.
“All right,” Dolly says. “The both of you, out.” She starts shooing Cypress and me from our chairs and toward the back door, apparently not even wanting to risk taking us through the house to the front.
“Go cool off. Go for a ride. Go for each other,” she recommends, resorting to her cane when we don’t move fast enough. “I don’t care, so long as I’m able to walk around without tripping over one of your libidos.”
“What a lovely picture you paint, Dolly,” Cypress replies, making me grin as we get effectively shoved outside. “Are you sure you don’t need our help with anything?”
“Not until you help yourselves,” she mutters, then slams the door.
Cypress and I stand there for a moment, staring at the house and then at each other before we both start laughing.
“Now look what you’ve done,” he says after a while when we’ve both calmed down.
“Me? You’re the one who got us thrown out.”
He shrugs. “Bound to happen.” His blue eyes shine with amusement. “So, how about it?”
“About what?” I ask, even as I feel the heat start to pool low in my stomach, even as I think about how much I’d like to reach for him again, to hold him.
I’ve never held someone like that. Every experience I’ve had before has always felt…impersonal. A mutual satisfaction of a need. But this morning, while I have no doubt it would have been mutually satisfying…nothing about it felt impersonal. Nothing about the way I feel about him does.
“How about a ride?” he suggests, clarifying his statement. “How about we take Cerberus and No Name—”
“Helios,” I say.
“Helios,” he repeats, grinning. “How about we take them for a ride?”
“If you want,” I say, afraid to admit how much I like the idea before falling into step beside him. “Where did you come up with the name Helios, by the way?” I ask him as we head for the barn, thinking to take at least one thing off our list for later. “And Cerberus?”
He glances at me. “Are you familiar with Greek myths?”
“Not especially,” I admit.
“Cerberus is Hades’s dog. A guardian,” he tells me. “Hades is—”
“God of the underworld,” I finish for him, knowing that much at least. “Really do like that distinctive brand, don’t you?” His grin widens. “And Helios?”
“God of the sun.”
My steps slow as I smile, shaking my head at him. “They’re opposites.”
“In a way.” Cypress slows too, keeping pace with me while moving a bit closer so our shoulders are almost brushing. “You know, I’ve been told they attract.”
“You know, I’ve been told that, too. If they don’t kill each other first.”
Cypress laughs, giving me another wry smile, and I can’t remember why it ever bothered me that he does it so much.
“Another thing about Helios?” he asks, likely confident he already has my full attention, but I still nod for him to continue. “He was also all-seeing.”
“All-seeing?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“As in…?”
“As in he liked to watch…” Cypress pauses just long enough to make my stomach tighten before adding, “Over everything.”
“Right,” I say, but there’s that fucking grin again. “Cy,” I warn, immediately going after him when he takes off for the barn. “Cypress.”
Even after I catch him, we don’t stop running. Not for days.