Natalie #2
“Enter.” His voice makes my skin crawl but I enter anyway.
I need this job. I need this job. I need this job.
If I leave he will blacklist me from every other building around here, just like he has everyone else who left.
And we never saw them again because they’ve had to leave town to find work.
I open the door and shuffle into the room, the room where he has every wall covered in pictures of him with absolutely nobody else.
Howard gives such narcissistic vibes. Just him in different poses, some in his suit, some naked with some sort of prop covering his limp dick .
“Ahh Miss Baker, I have been waiting for you.” He stands and walks around his desk.
His long legs stride over to where I stand.
“You didn’t come into work on Friday,” his fingers start playing with one of the tendrils of hair I left out to frame my face, “Luke informed me you were sick, how are you feeling now?”
“Better, thank you.” I whisper as he moves around me to close the door. I guess we’re having a meeting then.
“Good, now why don't you take a seat.” He pulls one of the seats opposite his desk out and gestures to it. “I think we need to have a little chat.”
“May I ask what you need to speak with me about, sir ? It’s just that we open in a few minutes and I have a client coming in for a meeting as soon as we open.”
“ I. Said. Sit.” He spits out. I immediately take the waiting seat and take some deep breaths.
I can’t piss off my boss. Not when I know exactly what his temper can be like.
Poor Hettie didn’t deserve to have her nose broken just for doing her job.
“Good girl. Now, please tell me why you feel like you need to put your hair up today.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard what I said Miss Baker. Now answer me.”
“It’s the middle of summer, sir. I get too hot if I leave my hair down.” I admit and instantly regret it as his face twists in anger.
He slams on his desk, making me jump. Then he grabs my hair tie.
“I don’t give a fuck if you are too hot and uncomfortable.
You need to hide this.” He points to my burn mark, then proceeds to glide the hair tie from my hair.
“I don’t want any of my clients to be turned off by this horrid thing.
” He starts to play with my hair until it covers the scars. “Now remember what I told you.”
“Never look them directly in the face and always keep it covered.” I sigh. He has made me repeat it everyday since I came back to work after the incident.
“That’s my girl. Now off you go.” He waves his hand, dismissing me. I choke back the tears as I get to my feet to leave the office. “ Oh , and once we close tonight I am going to need you to come back here. I need you to clean my office today. My cleaning lady has quit on me.” He mumbles.
I nod in acknowledgement, close the door and make my way to my desk.
Switching the sign on the front door from “open” to “closed” feels like walking down the corridor of death row.
I hated being in the same building with him when the rest of the staff were here.
But now, being completely alone with him makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I have a bad feeling about this.
I reach into my bag and take out the pepper spray, it was a gift from my stalker after I got harassed one evening while walking home, and put it into the inside pocket of my blazer.
The small bottle, and knowing that someone will hopefully be watching, gives me that small sense of security.
I look out of the window to see if I can see the fluorescent green crosses shining among the hustle and bustle of people walking home for the evening.
Nope. I guess he isn’t here yet. I wonder if I get to see him today, I could do with a hug, especially after such a terrible wake up call and having to deal with Howard after hours.
God I really hope he’ll be in my apartment when I get there.
Mr Stalkers presence makes me feel calm. Protected even.
I wish he was here now. Maybe he’s just running late.
Apart from the two weeks he takes off, he’s always here to ‘walk’ me home.
And by that I mean follow me all the way back to mine, and as soon as we enter I’m being spun and pulled against his ripped body, my hands always take a mind of their own and roam all over his pecs.
They just can’t help it.
Stupid limbs.
Oh, shh. You would do the same. I see you drooling.
“Start with the shelves, then sweep the floor and you can do my desk last as I’m still working.” Howard mutters when I knock on the open door. “Be quick and be quiet.” Jerk. I internally flip him off, and grab the cleaning supplies from the cupboard across the hall.
Some time later - because of course my first three attempts at dusting some shelves weren’t to his satisfaction - I have finished the first two tasks and I’m waiting for him to finish writing his final email.
“I love how so very patient you are being right now.” He tuts sarcastically while watching my tapping foot.
His eye roll tells me just how annoyed he is getting.
I instantly still under his frightening gaze.
He shoves his hands into his dark yet greying hair and his lips curl up into a frustrated snarl.
I wasn’t even tapping because of being impatient, rather I was tapping along to the tune I was singing in my head.
No point in trying to explain that to him though, he won’t believe me.
“Sorry.” I say quickly. And let my mind wander to Mr Stalker.
I wonder what his name is?
What colour his eyes are.
His age - God I hope he’s close to my age.
What part of Britain he comes from.
Is he a selfish lover? I doubt it. I think he’ll be good between the sheets.
All very important questions that must be answered at some point right?
I’m not sure how much time passes when - “Miss Baker.” Howard scoffs and closes his laptop.
“You may now clean my desk. I’ll be watching to make sure you do it right.
” I know how to clean a desk. What does he think I am, stupid?
“Then I will finish what I need to in silence. You are being distracting.”
“Okay.” I whisper. As I start to stack up the paperwork neatly, then wipe over the hardwood.
“Hmmm, I like this sight, I might have you clean for me more often.” I hear him groan.
Looking up, I see he is no longer standing in front of me.
I go to turn but I’m frozen in place when I feel his hands land on my hips.
Why is he touching me? I try to move out of his grasp, yet he holds me in place.
“Stay still Miss Baker. You can help me with another problem of mine.” His voice is no longer frustrated in anger, but more husky, lustful.
Before I can ask him what I can help him with, I feel his hard cock rub against my thigh. No. No. No. “I have to go, I have someone waiting for me.” I try to lie, but my shaky voice gives me away. He laughs hysterically.
He’s there right, tell me he’s there. Please.
“Why are you trying to lie to me, I know you. And I know you don’t have anyone coming to meet you.
” Oh, how he is going to regret his words.
Many times my stalker has been waiting in the shadows.
I always see the green details of his mask in the alleyway across the street.
Always waiting for me, always following me.
I wonder what he would do if he came in and saw what was happening?
Howards fingers dig tighter into me. He leans over until I can feel his breath against my ear.
“Now be a good little employee. Stay still and be quiet.” His lips meet my left cheek, making me quiver with fear.
What is he going to do? “Hmm, so smooth.” He coos as he lifts my skirt.
His hands glide up towards my underwear.
Please no . Tears start to sting my eyes.
My heart thumps hard under my ribs, my lungs struggle to breathe normally as panic begins to take over.
Stay still.
Be quiet.
Be a good girl.
Stay still.
Be quiet.
Be a good girl.
Stay still.
Be quiet.
Be a good girl.
I repeat the mantra in my head as he rips my underwear down my legs and shoves them into the top pocket of his shirt.
Staying quiet equals survival. Fighting back could mean death, just like Justine - my foster sister who wasn’t quiet, who wasn’t still.
I swallow down the bile rising in my throat as I remember the smell of her rotting body.
And the heavy feeling in my 8 year old shoulders as I dug out the hole in the backyard to bury her in.
Pa made me bury her after he threw her body in the shallow hole, twisted her around, breaking her bones until she could fit.
Then said if I told anyone what happened I will be going to jail too for helping him bury her.
I light a candle for her every year. I never forgot everything she did for me.
I tried my best to help the younger ones like she helped me, but I failed multiple times.
I couldn’t save them from Pa or the uncles assaults.
I couldn’t save them from Ma’s relentless beatings.
I failed.
I shouldn’t be living right now, not when I didn’t save them from danger.
They’re all probably just as fucked up as me now, and it’s all my fault. I couldn’t save them.
I know you don’t think it’s my fault, but you were there. I could have done more to help them.
Howard licks up my neck. What if I screamed right now? Would my stalker hear me? Would he come in and save me like he did that night at the lake? One of Howards hands comes up and squeezes against my throat, almost cutting off my air supply. I guess I won’t be screaming.
Think happy thoughts Natalie, happy thoughts. Don’t let your brain think about what Howards hand is currently playing with.