25. Chapter Twenty-Five
And the gossip blog said, “Neither of them is filming, but Christina Malloy attended her father’s movie premiere without Graham Crowley. Has she already moved on? Has he?”
* * *
Reasons I don’t date—for real.
1. I’m too critical of myself.
2. I don’t have time for other people. Correction, I don’t make time for other people.
It’s been a month of Graham and I “dating,” but I haven’t seen him since the night he and Loki came for dinner, and he kissed me in my kitchen. Though it’s not expected that we see one another, I do miss him, and it’s the craziest damn thing.
His fitting was the day after mine, and then he had dinner at his parents’ house. I was expected at a showing for one of my father’s movies, which was horrific. I don’t enjoy people shooting other people’s faces off and then gratuitous sex, just to lighten the mood. There’s a reason I do happily-ever-after romance movies for a streaming network channel.
I know, I still want a part in his movies, but I’m going to have to be the extra who only serves the characters in a restaurant or something. I can’t believe Graham wants a leading part like those in my father’s movies.
I should have considered asking him to go to the premiere, only the preview was planned over a month ago, before Graham and I had purposeful conversations and kissed in private.
The thought makes me smile.
There were plenty of questions as to where he was at the preview. I just smiled, posed, and didn’t say a word.
We did talk about it on the phone, since we’ve talked almost every night, and exchanged texts often.
It was extremely nice to hear his voice when I accompanied my mother to Seattle to scout out a new spa location. That was a long few days. But knowing that Graham was on the other end of the phone for each of my remarks, and at the end of the day, it made the trip more pleasant.
Today is the first day on the set, and as much as I love my job, this is the first time I’ve ever been giddy to get to work. Even stranger is the fact that I’m giddy to get to Graham—that’s a first too.
Usually, with the lead up to a new project, I’m filled with anxiety. Knowing I’m working with Graham usually ups that feeling. But not today.
Why does the craft services table always have shit on it that makes you gain ten pounds just by looking at it? His text comes in just as I’m climbing into the car that was sent for me. I guess it’s a good thing we’re forbidden to eat from it.
You’re already there? I text back.
Yeah. I’m always too early on the first day. First day nerves and all.
I can understand that. I’ve been known to be sick my first days of a shoot.
I can’t wait to see you, he texts again, and my heart does a little flip in my chest.
I’m on my way, I text back.
I don’t live all that far from the studio, but LA traffic is always horrible, and it takes twice as long as it should to get anywhere.
When my phone rings, I consider not answering. It’s my mother.
But I answer anyway. “Hello, Mother.”
“Where are you going? You sound like you’re in a car.”
This is how much she pays attention to my life when we talk.
“We start production today,” I say, and she lets out a long hum.
“Right. With that man you’re seeing?” This she remembers.
“Graham. Yes.”
“I’m not sure that’s the wisest of relationships, do you?”
Yep, I should have not answered the call.
I look out the window and I can see the studio coming into view.
“We’re happy, Mother,” I say.
“If you were happy, you’d bring him around.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I have. He was at the awards ceremony last month, and he came with me to your opening, remember?”
Again, she hums into the phone. “Right. Your father is considering him for a project.”
I draw in a breath of annoyance. “I’ve heard something about that,” I say, even though I already discussed that with her too.
“See, he’s using you,” she says accusingly. “Everyone will use you for your father.”
Now the giddy feeling I had earlier has turned into that sick bout of anxiety.
“He’s not using me,” I say, and then I have to remind myself that the truth is we’re both using one another to get the things we want.
I’m the one that seems to be forgetting that we aren’t dating. This is all an organized plot for public display and to get something we each want for our careers.
“Just be careful,” she says. “You don’t need the gossip shows talking about you.”
I guess she missed how we got into this mess in the first place. Besides, she must not pay too much attention to the gossip shows, because they’ve already been discussing Graham and me regularly.
“Mom, we’re pulling up to the studio. I need to get focused. I’ll talk to you later,” I say.
“Grand opening in San Diego next week,” she says, even though I told her I had to go.
“I can’t make it.”
“I need you there, Christina.”
I wince. “I’ll see what I can do, but?—”
“Be smart,” she says and then disconnects the call.
I steady myself as the car pulls through the security gate and drives through the lot.
I’ll need to make sure to screen my calls and not answer my mother’s all the time. My job is as important as hers and my father’s, and they wouldn’t welcome my distraction, so there is no need for me to entertain theirs.
Penny is waiting for me the moment the car stops.
I gather my things as she opens the door.
“Good morning,” she says cheerily as I step out.
“Good morning,” I say. “Thanks for being here so early.” I’m going to continue to make that conscious effort to make sure she knows how much I appreciate her.
“Of course.” She tucks her lips between her teeth as if to keep a smile from surfacing. “Your trailer is ready. Jean-Claude has a few items he’s going to come and talk to you about.” She hands me a packet of papers. “Here are the rewrites for today.”
I look down at the scene we’re starting with.
“Nothing like jumping in, huh?” I ask, noticing that the first scene we’re going to film leads to the bedroom scene.
“It’s a good way to start a week, don’t you think?” Graham’s voice comes from behind me, and I turn to see him walking toward me.
His eyes are locked with mine, and the corner of his mouth turns up.
I lick my lips as he comes closer. He lifts his hand to my cheek and eases in, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips, which lingers. I breathe it in and let it surge through me.
“Good morning,” he says softly.
“Good morning,” I say, looking up into his eyes.
He shifts his glance from me to Penny, who I realize is standing there with her eyes wide.
“Good morning, Penny,” he says as he slips his hand into mine, and I have to remember that even though we’ve forged a friendship, Graham is still vying for a movie role. He knows everyone everywhere is watching us. I can’t get sucked into this fake relationship with my heart. I need to remember I’m using him, too.
Penny clears her throat. “Good morning. I think Jean-Claude is waiting for you both.”
Graham nods as if he knew that. He takes my bag from my shoulder and carries it.
Well, I guess this is the real start of it. It’s time to act for my job and those jobs I want outside of streaming television movies.
Graham Crowley is my ticket. I need to keep that in mind.