Chapter Two
TOREN
When we finally arrive, it’s late and none of the lights are on inside.
They couldn’t even wait up for me.
I push that bitter thought away and climb out of the car.
Frederick instructs me to head inside and he’ll bring my bags to my room.
I tell my feet to move but they refuse, instead I stand here at the foot of the pathway that will lead me to my home and yet, as I stand here staring at the mansion I grew up in I feel no homeliness.
Nothing about this place feels safe, it holds no warmth for me anymore.
I expected to arrive here and feel like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.
I feel none of that, I just have this crushing sense of foreboding.
My gut is twisting, my fight or flight instincts have kicked in and I’m being urged to run as far away as I can.
“Is everything okay, Miss Toren?” I startle and whirl around to face Fredrick with my hand over my chest. The concern in his eyes snaps me out of the trance I was in. I force my feelings into a box deep inside me and smile for his benefit.
“Of course, I was just… taking it all in,” I lie. Before he can say more, I force my feet to move, each step closer feels heavier.
Stop being stupid, this is your home!
Even as I say the words over and over in my head I don’t believe them.
I grip the handle and push the door open.
Immediately I’m hit with the smell of fresh paint.
I furrow my brow as I step inside and flick the foyer light on.
My jaw pops open and my eyes widen. Gone are the cream colored walls with the gold trimmings, the bright cherry red paint paired with the black trim is ominous and feels cold.
I step further into the house, flicking the lights on as I go and nearly stumble over my feet at all the changes.
The paint has been spread throughout the house, the kitchen has even been remodeled and is no longer stainless steel, it's all black. The game room no longer has numerous PlayStation and Xbox consoles, it now hosts pool tables and a cigar tasting area. The photos on the walls are now non-existent. I rush out of the room and head into the living room, praying he didn’t destroy my favorite place.
“No.” The word tumbles out of me. The sectional sofa where we all spent so much time laughing and watching movies is gone and replaced by a couple of black leather ones.
The fireplace has been replaced with a new open one.
The picture of Masen and me that hung proudly on the far wall is gone, that picture always brought a smile to my face.
Mase and I were only little but our mom took that picture of us and we looked so happy but that wasn’t why I loved it, it was one of the last things we had of our mom.
Unable to handle more changes I head upstairs to my bedroom, I don’t even look around.
This is sensory overload right now with all these changes, I can’t think of a single reason why my father would make such drastic changes to our home.
He had time to do all of this but couldn’t even pick up a phone to call me!
I stop outside my bedroom and send up a silent prayer that he didn’t damage my space like he did the rest of the house.
I push the door open and step inside, not bothering with the light, I need a moment to prepare myself in case he ruined everything in here.
Just as I close the door, a hand wraps around my throat.
My scream pierces the air before a hand is clamped over my mouth and I’m shoved against the wall so hard my head bounces.
I sway slightly and my vision goes blurry for a second before it clears, then I’m fighting off my attacker.
When I hit him, the hand around my throat tightens and my air supply is cut off.
“No one will fucking save you from me.” I still at the sound of his voice and go slack, the hand around my throat loosens just enough to allow me to breathe, just. The hatred I can feel wafting off this stranger has me wanting to wet myself but I manage to control my bladder.
“Hmmm,” I try to speak while the hand covering my mouth doesn’t move.
“You escaped a year ago but you won’t get away this time.
You ruined my life and now I will destroy yours.
” My brows draw in. The anger that laces his tone has me floored.
I have no idea what this stranger is talking about or how the hell he got in my room.
“I’m going to take everything away from you like you and your cunt of a brother took everything from me.
” He releases me with a hard shove. I crumble to the floor, gasping.
It takes me a minute or two max before I lift my head to face him, only there is no one in front of me.
I scramble to my feet and flick the light on.
I scan the room but he’s nowhere to be seen.
The only sign he was actually here is the open window.
What the fuck just happened?
I dash across the room and poke my head out of the window. I scan the yard but there’s no sign of him anywhere. How the hell did he just jump out of my bedroom window on the second story of the house and vanish like a damn ghost?
I step back and rub my throat. I can still feel the heat of his hand on my skin.
You and your cunt of a brother took everything from me.
What the hell did he mean?
Who the hell is he?
What happened while I was away?
I feel the panic in me rising again and fear wrapping me in its clutches, so I reach up and clasp the pendant in my hand, closing my eyes.
“To teach is to learn. To learn is to excel. To excel is to thrive. To thrive is to live,” I say aloud.
I have no idea why I find comfort in those words but they always help me when I’m on the verge of having a breakdown.
I know most people probably think I should be grateful that I only lost a week’s worth of memories and not my entire existence, but a week of my life is gone!
I might have felt differently if I didn’t wake up in a hospital with broken bones and no memory of how I ended up there, then being shipped off to Walter House.
But all of those things happened and I have no idea why.
The why is what eats me up inside daily—why was I punished?
Why was I sent away?
Why couldn’t Masen look at me?
Why didn’t my dad or brother call?
Why, why, why!
I’m so sick of not knowing and always wondering what the hell I did.
I drop down onto the edge of my bed and bury my face in my hands.
I can feel the tears stinging the backs of my eyes but I refuse to let them fall.
I won’t allow myself to feel defeated. I may have lost my memories and shit may have changed, but that doesn’t mean I have to crumble under the pressure of it all.
I can’t. If I allow it to drag me under, then I’m afraid I’ll never be able to claw my way out of that dark hole for a second time.
“Toren!” I groan and try to bat away the hand that is rousing me but the pesky thing won’t piss off.
“Toren, get up.” It takes a second for the sound of the voice to register.
The instant it does I grow tense. I allow myself another second to get my emotions under control before I open my eyes, coming face to face with my father’s black slacks.
I slowly trail my gaze up his body, noting he’s wearing a new suit.
When I reach his face I almost turn away, he doesn’t look like the Dad I knew.
His face is etched in harsh lines and his eyes hold a haunted look.
I can tell he is walling off his emotions from me and that hurts.
I push myself up and swing my legs over the side of the bed.
I didn’t mean to fall asleep last night, but it appears being manhandled from some creep breaking into my room exhausted me.
I didn’t bother to call out for Fredrick, what was the point?
My father made it clear he didn’t care about me when he shipped me off and my brother never came to see me.
“I didn’t expect to get a personal wakeup call from the new senator,” I clip out bitterly.
I may not have had access to the outside world during my stay at Walter House but that didn’t mean I hadn’t heard the nurses talking.
To find out my father was now a senator was a shock.
It hurt that I had to find out from gossip instead of being told by him directly.
He exhales and runs a hand through his salt and pepper hair, tiredly.
The fact he won’t even look me in the eye bothers me but it's the awkward tension between us that is the worst. He’s my father, my DNA is half of him.
He raised me and yet, I feel so uncomfortable being around him and just want him to leave.
Conversation between us used to be easy.
I was a daddy’s girl and his little princess but that all changed the moment I woke up in the hospital.
Now, I just feel like an imposter living in his home.
“Yes, well I hadn’t expected to be doing it either.
” Silence ensues. I keep my focus on the carpeted floor and twirl my hands in my lap, fighting the urge not to grasp my pendant and chant those words over and over until I can calm myself.
“You need to collect your things. You’ll be moving into the dorms on campus. ”
I snap my head up, my eyes wide and hope begins to unfurl inside me. I’ll finally be able to see KennaDee and the guys. The moment I see my brother I won’t give him the option not to answer my questions and force him to tell me what happened.
“You’re letting me live on campus at SU?” I whisper, almost certain I misunderstood him.
He purses his lips, his eyes flicker with pain for a second before the look vanishes and I’m left wondering if it was even there to begin with.
“Yes. You have an hour before you leave so pack your things.” I don’t waste a second.
I jump up and ignore the hideous red paint in my room and race to my wardrobe, only to come to a sudden stop at the sight of the boxes on the floor.
“They have been packed into seasons. Select which ones you wish to take with you now and the rest can be delivered at a later date.” My vision turns hazy as I fight back tears.
I grind my teeth, trying to control my temper but fail.
I whirl around and face my father, who stands there with his hands stuffed in his pockets and a firm look on his face.
“Why, Dad?” I choke out, my tears falling unchecked as I stare at my father, begging him to explain what happened and why he wants nothing to do with me.
“What did I do to make you hate me so much?” His eyes widen as he stumbles back a step.
His face pales as he stares at me. I beg him without words to take mercy on me and tell me why this is all happening.
He opens his mouth to say something but all I’m met with is silence.
We stand here, facing off against each other, a battle of wills.
He’s the first to back down. I wish I could say I was surprised by his cowardice but I’m not.
He couldn’t even spare me five minutes for a phone call, so I don’t know what I was hoping to achieve right now in praying he would shed some fucking light on why my life has turned to shit.
“Select the boxes you wish to bring with you. Frederick will bring the others.” I stare at him long and hard for a moment, my body engulfed by my anger. I want to scream and lash out at him but the fear of him sending me back to Walter House simmers inside me and eventually wins.
I release a tired sigh and nod. “Okay,” I mumble as I swipe away my tears and begin sorting through my things.