Chapter 20
Ash
Kai is about to get a lot more than he bargained for.
I toss the prince onto my bed, watching him scramble frantically to sit. He was grinding my gears, especially tonight, but I thought he just wasn't using his brain after a tough therapy session. But it turns out my boy was playing the brat to get me irritated enough to punish him.
Smart.
I guess I have been a little too gentle with him lately. My own fears of losing him suffocated my desire for him. But no longer.
“Strip,” I demand.
I turn towards my dresser as I hear the soft thud of clothes behind me. I open the drawer that has most of my sex toys and ponder which ones to torture Kai with. Maybe all of them from the way he's been acting.
“When you're done, kneel on the bed with your palms facing the ceiling.” I don't bother to turn around and check if he does it. He always does.
I pick out the few things I want to use and turn to see my perfect boy waiting so pretty for me. He looks at my hands with a mixture of excitement and fear. I toss the soft ropes on the bed next to Kai. Kai's eyes don't look away from me, he knows better.
I put a finger under his chin so he looks up at me, his pupils wide and wanting.
Fuck, I've missed him. I lean forward, kissing him, my tongue sliding against his.
A needy moan hums from his throat rushing straight to my dick.
When I break away, Kai tries to chase after me. He's desperate. Starving.
I pet his head, pushing his hair back. “Do you know what you're being punished for?”
Lust clouds his eyes as he says, “Being cute?”
I grab his chin with enough force to bruise. “Try again.”
He laughs. “Sorry, sir. For being a brat.”
I'm unable to help the smile that tweaks the corner of my mouth. He's practically giddy under me. “Yeah, and that's why I chose this particular punishment.”
I hold up the ball gag so he can see.
Kai's giddy demeanor weakens slightly. “Where does that go?”
An evil smile spreads on my face. “Say ah.”
Kai's eyebrows furrow together as he opens his mouth. I put the gag in his mouth and latch it around his head. “If you need me to stop, snap twice. Do it now to show me you understand.”
Kai tries to swallow some spit unsuccessfully around the black ball, but his fingers snap twice.
“Good boy. Now sit back on your ass, wrists on your knees. “
Kai sits back and holds up his arms. His old scars glare at me. I kiss them one by one before tying his wrists to his spread knees with the soft red rope. I continue binding each wrist to its respective knee, until he's sitting in a completely open and vulnerable position.
I grab more rope even though I don't technically need it.
I haven't gotten to practice shibari on him before, and I’m feeling a little greedy from not having him in so long.
I wrap the rope around his firm pecs, pinching his nipples as I pass by them.
A moan grumbles around the ball gag and I notice his cock is now at full attention. Good.
I want him to cum just from anticipation.
When I'm finished, I step back and admire my work. Kai is completely bound and gagged in the pretty red rope. His muscles push against the rope in such an erotic way I want to bite every inch of skin to relish in how they feel.
Kai's grey eyes look up at me expectantly as to say What now?.
“Now, pretty boy, I fucking use you however I want.” I roll him over until his ass is in the air and his face is in the mattress.
His arms are splayed out underneath him, leaving his chest against the pillows.
“Snap twice for me,” I say, checking to see if he can move.
Kai does so, drool seeping from around his mouth.
I peel my shirt off, my skin too hot from how beautiful he looks, and toss it to the floor. I massage his ass cheeks under my hands, spreading him wide for me to see.
I spank him once. Twice. Kai grumbles around the gag, pushing his ass back for more.
“See how pathetic you are now? You let me do this to you.” I spit on his hole, rubbing it in with my thumb. “You begged for it, like the pretty slut you are.”
I plunge my thumb into him. Kai tightens around me, shrinking away. “Don't get shy now.”
My hand pulls his hips back to me as I move my thumb slowly in and out. “You see, baby, you're at my mercy. The only reason you have freedom is that I allow it.”
I take my thumb out, replacing it with two fingers, my other hand massaging Kai's balls between his legs. Kai's hands twitch at his knees like he wants to grab a hold of something.
“I'm gonna use you until you're fucking dripping with my cum, screaming around that gag.” My hand wraps around Kai's cock.
Something that sounds close to fuck comes from Kai's throat. I laugh.
I pull away from him, unbuttoning my pants as I watch Kai wag his ass in the air, trying to tempt me to come back.
Part of me just wants to jack off and come on his back to how good he looks tied on my bed like this.
But he was so sweet saying he missed me, and as much as I'm playing up the punishment, I want him to feel good.
I palm my dick, my shaft laced with bulging veins. Fuck, I don't think I'll last.
I grab the bottle of lube at the foot of my bed and put some in my hands working my shaft as I kneel behind Kai. My tongue teases his rim. I blow gently making him gasp and pull away.
I spread his cheeks wide as I eat him out greedily. My perfect baby was already cleaned and prepped for me. He must have been planning this since this morning. I rub my nose against his entrance to give me a second of air, my lubed hand working on Kai's cock.
Kai sounds like a mess. Muffled moans and groans fill my bedroom as I work him up. I lick up his crack, using my lips to kiss him like I would his mouth. I hum against him, making his back spasm slightly.
I pull back to see Kai flushed all the way down his back. He's breathing hard as drool slips past the ball.
I lay next to him to look him in the eye, my hand rubbing up and down his spine. “You look too cute, baby. I need your mouth.”
Kai's eyes widen with excitement.
“You promise to be good?”
He nods eagerly.
I chuckle, unlatching the gag. I position myself on my side so I can slip my cock into his mouth while his ass is still in the air.
“Oh, fuck. Kai.” My voice cracks.
His mouth is warm and deliciously wet from the saliva buildup of the ball gag. I feel him breathe through his nose as he takes me deeper. My hips move involuntarily, shoving myself down his throat.
He chokes, tears welling in his eyes.
My hand tangles in his hair as I shove my dick deeper. His cheeks turn pink as I feel his throat constrict around me. “Holy shit, yes baby. Just like that.”
Kai whines around me. His head never stops, he keeps bobbing in this awkward position, delirious with pleasure.
I pull out of him, lying on my back. Focus. Fucking focus.
“Master,” Kai whines. “I wasn't done.”
“I'm not either.” I take a breath and get behind him.
I rub the head of my cock against his slick hole and push into him.
“Fuck, you feel so good.” We groan together as I push deeper. “I missed you so much.”
“Ash, please.”
My hips start moving, euphoria filling my head. “Whatever you want. Whatever you want.”
“Ash, yes.”
“Yeah, keep saying my name.”
“Ash, I missed you.”
“Don't ever leave me. You're mine. All mine.” The words drip from my mouth without my permission.
Kai moans under me, his hips trying to push back as much as he can.
My hands rub down his sides and down his hips. “Do you know how fucking perfect you are, baby? Like you were made for me. Jesus Christ!”
I bow over him, his body and voice driving me delirious.
“Yes, I'm yours,” Kai says.
My ego rears its head, licking its lips at his words. “Say it again.”
My hand wraps around him to rub his cock.
“Fuck, Ash! I'm yours.”
I lick his spine. “Again, baby. Don't stop.”
“I'm yours! I'm yours! I'm yours!” Kai sobs into the blankets until he’s coming all over my hand. “Ash!”
My name is my undoing. I come hard inside of him, my teeth sinking into his skin to keep me from groaning so loud it would shake the windows.
When my vision comes back, I slip out of Kai. I breath heavily wanting to just collapse on the bed, but I have business to attend to.
Kai is sobbing into the sheets. I rub his back and roll him on his side. He's wet with tears, lube, saliva, and cum. Fucking beautiful.
I kiss his mouth gently. “I'm yours too.”
Kai's lip wobbles at the sentence. I gently untie him, pulling the rope from his body and onto the floor. I stretch his legs out, working his muscles in my hands as he sighs.
The bedroom is quiet when everything finally settles.
My breathing is still uneven, but Kai's has already begun to slow. He's curled against the pillows with his eyes closed, looking more exhausted than anything else.
I brush my thumb across his cheek. “Still with me, Prince?”
He hums sleepily. “Mhm.”
“Good.”
His eyelids flutter open just enough to find me. “You okay?”
The question catches me off guard.
I smile. “I'm supposed to be asking you that.”
“I know.”
“But…” His voice is thick with fatigue. “…are you okay?”
God. Even now he's checking on me.
I kiss his forehead. “I'm perfect.”
A tiny smile appears before his eyes drift shut again.
I spend another few minutes checking in with him the way I always do, making sure he's comfortable, making sure he's present, making sure the quiet settling over us is the peaceful kind instead of the overwhelming kind.
Only when I'm certain, do I finally stand.
“I've got something for you.”
Kai cracks one eye open. “Food?”
I laugh. “Soon.”
“Waffles?”
“No.”
He sighs dramatically. “I had hope.”
I lean down to press another kiss into his hair.
I disappear into the bathroom and start the water. The old clawfoot tub fills slowly, steam curling toward the ceiling as I pour in far more bubble bath than any reasonable person needs. Within a minute, the surface is covered in thick white foam.
Kai always likes baths after long days. Especially lately.
I dim the lights until the room is bathed in a soft amber glow instead of harsh white. Then I prop my phone on the counter and scroll through my playlists. Nothing with lyrics. Just quiet piano. Something calm enough that it fades into the background.
I return to the bedroom. Kai has managed to sit up, although he still looks as though he could fall asleep at any second.
“Come on.”
He reaches for me without thinking.
I lace our fingers together. “Bath's ready.”
He lets me guide him. His steps are slow, sleepy, trusting. Every now and then he bumps gently into my shoulder instead of correcting his path.
I don't mind. Not even a little.
By the time we reach the bathroom, steam has warmed the entire room.
Kai smiles softly. “Bubbles.”
“Lots of bubbles.”
“You know me too well.”
“I like to think so.”
I help him ease into the water before climbing in behind him. The tub is just large enough for both of us if I sit against the back.
Kai settles naturally between my legs, his back resting against my chest as though we've done this a hundred times before.
I stretch my legs alongside his and wrap my arms loosely around his waist beneath the water.
For several minutes, neither of us speaks. The music drifts through the room. The scent of lavender hangs in the warm air.
Kai melts a little more against me with every passing minute. I can actually feel the tension leaving his body.
His shoulders, which always seem to carry the weight of the entire world, finally begin to loosen.
I rest my chin on top of his head. He smells like my shampoo all the time now. The realization makes me smile.
My fingers lazily trace slow circles across his stomach beneath the water. Not because I'm trying to accomplish anything. Simply because I like touching him.
He sighs so quietly I almost miss it. “Tired?”
“So tired.”
“You've had a long day.”
“So have you.”
“I'll survive.”
“You always say that.”
“I usually mean it.”
He hums again. The vibration carries through my chest where he's leaning against me.
Minutes pass. Or maybe longer. Time doesn't seem particularly important.
Eventually I notice Kai's breathing changing again. Longer. Slower. He's drifting. His head slips farther back until it's resting fully against my shoulder.
I brush another kiss into his damp hair. “Don't fall asleep in the bathtub.”
“I'd never.”
“You absolutely would.”
“No.” His protest is barely understandable.
I smile to myself. “I've got you.”
Another sleepy hum.
A few weeks ago, I was terrified of losing him. Some mornings I still wake up with that fear sitting heavy in my chest. Then he leans against me like this—trusting me completely—and I remember that healing isn't one dramatic moment.
It's this.
It's showing up.
Again and again.
It's quiet evenings.
Shared baths.
Conversations with therapists.
Breakfast diners.
Books.
Hockey.
Laughter.
It's choosing each other every day.
Kai shifts slightly, nestling even closer beneath my chin.
Then, in a voice so soft I'm not entirely sure I heard it, he says, “I love you.”
The words are slurred with sleep. Almost mumbled. Almost lost beneath the music.
But I hear every single one.
For a second my heart stops. Not in fear but in wonder. I close my eyes. A smile spreads across my face before I can stop it.
I kiss the top of his head. “I love you too.”
The words come easier than breathing.
Because they're true. Entirely and completely.
Kai smiles without opening his eyes. “I know.”
A quiet laugh escapes me. “Confident, aren't you?”
“Mhm.”
“Yeah, you should be.”
His breathing slows again. Within another minute he's asleep, warm and boneless against my chest.
I hold him a little closer. Not because I'm afraid he'll disappear.
Just because I can.