Chapter 10 #2
“I’m fine. I just want to get out some energy.”
“You’re shaking.”
That stops him for half a second, just long enough for me to see the cracks in his expression.
Then he looks away. I keep my hand against his face, letting him decide whether he wants to pull away. He doesn’t.
“What happened?” I ask quietly.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Bullshit.”
His jaw tightens. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Dame—”
“You’re not my real boyfriend, Atlas. You don’t need to pretend to care.”
The words land hard enough that I physically feel them. But for some reason, I can’t help but shake the feeling that they’re more of a reminder for him than me.
Then I say carefully, “You really think this is part of the act?”
Damien finally looks back at me, the panic in his eyes tight and suffocating. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
He exhales shakily and leans his forehead briefly against my shoulder, as if holding eye contact suddenly becomes too hard.
“This thing we’re doing,” he says quietly, “it’s not real.”
My chest tightens immediately.
Because I know he’s scared.
I can hear it in his voice.
I slide my hand slowly down his back. “Damien,” I say softly, “this stopped feeling fake a long time ago.”
He goes still.
Then he laughs once under his breath, but there’s no humor in it. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Yes, I do.”
“No,” he says quietly. “You really don’t.”
Something about the way he says it sends a cold feeling through me, like there’s an entire part of him standing just out of reach that I haven’t seen yet.
I don’t push. If he doesn’t want to acknowledge it, fine. I can wait.
Eventually, he pulls back enough to look at me again, and the expression on his face almost ruins me. Because underneath all the walls and sarcasm and sharp edges…
He looks scared.
“I just need a distraction,” he says quietly.
I stay silent.
His voice drops even lower. “I want to feel safe for a little while, okay?”
That absolutely destroys me.
Every protective instinct in my body lights up at once so intensely it almost hurts.
Because Damien never asks for things like that.
Not directly.
Not honestly.
But this…
This is honest.
I touch his face carefully, brushing my thumb just under his eye. “Yeah, okay.”
I kiss him back carefully, slowly guiding him backward through the apartment while he keeps his hands locked onto me, as if letting go would physically hurt him. Nothing about this feels casual anymore.
By the time we make it to his bedroom, the tension between us has softened into something warmer. I pull off his hoodie, tossing it to the ground as he pushes down my pants. I stumble and fall into his bed, laughing.
He pushes me into the cushions, sucking and licking at my neck. His hands wander over my muscles like he’s trying to commit them to memory. He straddles my hips, grinding into me until our cocks are hard and rubbing against each other.
“Oh, fuck, honey,” I groan.
I’m normally the one who directs our activities, but it seems like Damien needs this control to take his mind off of whatever he’s not telling me.
Damien kisses my mouth slowly. “Do you trust me?”
My hand squeezes his ass, barely processing what he just said to me. “Of course.”
He smiles a vaguely evil smile that makes something in me go on high alert.
He reaches over to his bedside table, pulling out a blindfold and handcuffs.
“For you?” I ask.
He shakes his head.
I groan. “You’re lucky I can’t say no to you.”
Damien smirks, cuffing one of my wrists and linking the chain through his bedframe. I use my last moment of freedom to bring his face to mine with my free hand. “I thought this wasn’t the role you typically played?”
He smiles, grinding his ass against my hips to distract me. “I dabble.”
I let him link my wrists together and slip the blindfold over my eyes. My skin feels too tight over my body as I wait for him to touch me. The anticipation gets me so hard I might come too soon.
I feel something press against my asshole. I gasp, pulling my body away. “Damien, I’ve never…”
I don’t finish the sentence. He knows.
Damien’s hand slides across my stomach to soothe me. “I got you, okay?”
I nod.
I feel his lips on mine, coaxing me to open up to him. He tastes like tequila and lime, his preferred drink.
His mouth leaves mine, trailing down my chest. The tip of his tongue drags down, leaving a cold line against my skin. His teeth find my nipple, causing a strange pain that sparks more lust than fear.
Damien moves lower and lower, until the tip of his tongue is tracing my cock.
“Fuck,” I sigh.
I feel his tongue leave my skin and his fingers come up to fondle my balls. I bite my lip to keep from moaning. Then a wet warmth finally encases my dick. I pull against the handcuffs, desperate to get my hands on him.
He sucks and licks until I’m squirming underneath him, and then he forces something small and firm into my entrance.
The metal jangle of the handcuffs fills the bedroom as I clench. “Damien, fuck!”
But he doesn’t pause his mouth, working me over until the pain in my ass starts to pulse with pleasure.
“Don’t come yet. I’m not done with you.”
I lick my lips, trying to stay focused on not orgasming just from the request. “Whatever you want, baby.”
The mattress shifts around me as he changes his position. I want to touch him. I hate that my hands aren’t free. But then I realize how I must look to him—large and wanting and his for whatever he wants to do with me.
He pushes the blindfold off my eyes. I squint as my vision adjusts to the warm light of his bedroom.
Damien is straddling me, his cock hanging between us, basically begging me to lick it.
I watch as he squirts lube onto his hand.
He tosses the bottle onto the floor, where I know I’ll be scrambling to find it later in the night.
His green eyes are heavy as I watch him look me over like he can’t decide where to start.
Damien puts his hand behind him and starts fingering himself, his free hand massaging his shaft.
I start breathing heavily as I watch him, jealous that my hands aren’t the ones pleasing him. His eyes are closed as his hands work, the dirty little show driving me crazy.
I yank against my chains again, my voice low and dangerous. “Use me. Use me before I break my wrists trying to get to you.”
He opens his eyes, a pink blush blossoming over his cheeks. He smiles. “Beg for it.”
I don’t think; I just obey. “Use me, baby. Please. I want to make you feel good. Let me inside, please, Dame.”
Damien smiles, pulling his hands away from himself. He lines my cock up with his asshole and pushes down on me roughly.
We both cry out together in a way that makes me want to stay inside him forever.
He starts bouncing on me, using his hands and knees to help him fuck me.
Damien’s hands drag up his chest until they’re at his pecs, squeezing the muscle there.
His fingers start fondling his nipples, causing him to throw his head back.
My hips start moving against my will. The butt plug presses against that spot I’ve only read about, but have always been too scared to try.
“Honey, please touch yourself for me. I’m gonna lose my shit if I’m not covered in your cum in the next thirty seconds.” My voice sounds broken and desperate, but I couldn’t care less.
I want Damien to mark me as his. I want him to use me until I’m dry. I want him to feel safe and wanted here with me.
He starts rubbing his dick as he rides me. His moans are making it hard to concentrate, but I try to stay focused.
“Yeah, it feels good, huh?” I spear my cock into him, causing him to fall forward onto me.
His voice shudders in response. “Atlas…”
“You’re riding me so well. Don’t stop. You’re almost there.”
Damien perks up at my encouragement, squeezing his eyes shut as he works his cock. “Atlas. Atlas! Atlas, oh, fuck!” Sticky white cum releases from him, painting my chest and face.
My name on his mouth and his seed on my chest undo me. I come hard inside of him, my muscles squeezing around the butt plug as I cry out into the bedroom.
“Fuck! Ah!” My voice cracks, stars blinding my vision for a few moments.
Damien falls forward, taking the last few thrusts I push his way.
Our heavy breaths and thudding heartbeats are the only sounds in the room for a few moments. Damien’s head rests on my chest. The look of relief and ecstasy on his face makes me want to wrap him in my arms and never let go. There’s just one problem…
“Honey, I want to clean you up, but…” I pull against the handcuffs.
Damien snorts, peeking up at me from his resting place. “What if I want you like that all night?”
I smirk at him, stretching my body a little underneath him. “Then, I’ll stay.”
He brushes his lips against my chest before sitting up. “Good answer.”
Damien unlatches me from his bed, kissing the bruises that are already starting to show on my wrists.
Once I’m free, I force his face toward mine and kiss him slowly. “Go shower. I’ll clean up in here.”
“I can do it.” The exhaustion is already showing on his face.
“I know you can, but let me.”
He nods, wobbling toward the bathroom. I go into the half bath to ease the butt plug out of me. Jesus, how did he get that in there?
As I wash the toys we used, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I’m covered in Damien’s hickeys and cum, my hair is wild from his fingers, and the red rings around my wrists are starting to change color. I’m marked as his no matter what way I look at myself. Something twists in my chest.
I pull my eyes away from the mirror and clean myself off with a washcloth.
When I come back to his bedroom, I hear the shower running. I pull on my boxers, then strip the ruined sheets from the bed and find clean ones in the linen closet. Once I’m finished, Damien walks into the bedroom in a fuzzy black robe I’ve never seen before.
“Hey,” I say.
Usually, he pulls inward once the adrenaline of sex fades, rebuilding all those careful walls piece by piece. But tonight he seems small, fragile.
“Will you stay tonight?” he asks sleepily.
I can’t stop the thrill shooting through my veins. He wants me here. He’s asking me to stay.
“Yeah.”
He nods once, like that was the only answer he would have accepted, and crawls into bed. I follow after him, folding his body against mine until he’s comfortably lying on my chest.
Within minutes, his breathing finally starts to even out.
For the first time in days, he actually seems relaxed. I stare up at the ceiling long after he falls asleep, because now I know for sure something is wrong.
And whatever it is, it’s hurting him badly enough that he reached for me instead of trying to survive it alone. That thought settles deep in my chest while Damien sleeps against me.
And lying next to Damien in the middle of the night, I realize something terrifying:
I’m falling in love with him.