Chapter 13 #2
“You played incredibly tonight,” Atlas murmurs against my neck.
I tilt my head back against his shoulder. “You’re biased.”
“I’m right.”
His lips brush briefly against my damp curls. The affection in the gesture almost hurts, because nobody has ever loved me gently before. Sebastian used affection like a weapon. My father used it to manipulate me.
Everything good in my life has always come with strings attached.
But Atlas just…
Gives himself.
Freely.
Like loving people is easy for him.
I don’t know what to do with that.
“You’ve been quiet,” he says after a while.
I stare out the window. “Tired.”
His large hands start kneading my sore thighs. “That’s not all.”
No.
It isn’t.
But I can’t explain the ache sitting in my chest without admitting too much.
Without admitting that every time Atlas looks at me lately, I feel like I’m standing on the edge of something life-changing.
I stretch out my sore legs under his hands. “Ugh, that feels good.”
He chuckles. “Do you ever go to physical therapy?”
His hands drag up my thighs, past my hips, over my stomach.
“No. PT is for weaklings.”
He squeezes my pecs as punishment. “That’s probably why you’re sore all the time, Harrow.”
The warm water, the lazy hands, the soft music…they make blood rush to my cock. Hopefully, Atlas can’t see it under the bubbles.
I close my eyes, the steam opening my lungs. “I’m sore all the time because we fuck on five of the seven days in a week.”
Atlas smirks against the back of my neck, his hands dragging up and down my skin. “How many days have we fucked this week?”
His thumbs dig into the delicate flesh of my hips, massaging my tired muscles. “Five…”
Oh, shit, I’m hard. I dip my hips down farther into the water so Atlas won’t see. I run my hands through my hair, trying to concentrate on anything but Atlas’s hardening dick against my back. But it’s too late. Atlas has already wrapped his large hand around my cock.
“I hate odd numbers.”
A needy moan escapes my mouth as my head falls back against his chest.
Atlas kisses my neck sloppily, his free hand digging in his bag that’s sitting on the bathroom counter. He pulls out a ribbed, lime-green vibrator.
“You came prepared.” I spread my legs slightly.
Atlas turns on the waterproof vibrator before plunging it into the water. The dildo circles my hole, the slight vibrations making my hips grind.
He runs his nose up my neck. “I’m always prepared to make you feel good, baby.”
He presses the vibrator little by little up my ass. Without lube, it takes a second, but Atlas keeps touching me softly, helping me relax around the silicone until it’s all the way in.
“Oh, Jesus!” I groan.
I feel a chuckle vibrate through his chest as his hand keeps working my cock. “Does it feel good?”
I turn around, throwing my arms around his neck to kiss him deeply. His hands start massaging my ass cheeks, spreading and pressing me against the vibrations.
I make an embarrassing sound against his mouth that causes him to sigh.
“Let me fuck your mouth.” Atlas drags his hand over his long shaft as he speaks. “Please.”
The request and the pulsing of the vibrator make me squeeze my thighs together. “Get out.”
Atlas shifts out of the tub, perching on the side of the Jacuzzi. I rub his calves as Atlas pinches the head of his dick and bites his lip.
I bend forward, slipping my tongue against Atlas’s dick.
“Fuck,” Atlas groans.
The vibrations roll up my spine, making my back arch. I groan, my voice rushing up Atlas’s cock. I bob my head up and down as the warm water of the tub wraps around me, making everything more sensitive.
His hand roots in my hair, pulling harshly. His dick comes out of my mouth with a pop.
Atlas’s eyes are heavy-lidded as he looks down on me.
I know I must be a sight—panting on my hands and knees in the tub, with flushed pink cheeks.
“God, you’re beautiful.” And he kisses me.
Slow.
Careful.
Like he knows this means more than it usually does.
The kiss deepens naturally after that, warm water shifting around us while Atlas pulls me fully into his lap. His hands move over me gently, almost reverently, like he’s trying to memorize every part of me he touches.
His fingers run over the flared base of the vibrator, causing me to shudder against him. I slip my hand between us, pressing our cocks together.
I whimper, unashamed. “Yes, yes, yes.”
Nothing about tonight feels rushed.
There’s no desperation.
No frantic need to escape ourselves.
Just closeness.
Real closeness.
And that feels more intimate than anything else we’ve done.
Atlas keeps kissing me between soft smiles, his forehead resting against mine whenever we pause to breathe.
“You’re everything,” he murmurs at one point.
I immediately look away. “Don’t start.”
“I’m serious.”
“That’s embarrassing for both of us.”
Atlas laughs softly before kissing me again.
The warmth of the water, the champagne earlier, the emotional high from the game—it all blurs together until I stop thinking completely.
There’s only Atlas.
Atlas’s hands.
Atlas’s mouth.
Atlas looking at me like I matter.
By the time we finally move to the bedroom, everything feels soft around the edges. The sex that follows feels different too—not fueled by panic or jealousy or adrenaline.
Atlas touches me carefully the entire time, like he’s terrified of hurting me even accidentally. Every kiss lingers longer than usual. Every movement feels intentional.
Atlas presses my knees up to my chest, removing the vibrator. The constant edging and pulsing almost push me over the edge, but I hold on. I want to come with him inside me.
He presses in, both of us sighing at the feeling. My legs fall apart with relief. His deep brown eyes lock on mine as he starts moving.
“Atlas—mm!”
He starts rocking into me, his teeth sinking into my neck. I wrap my legs around his waist, trying to encourage him to go deeper and deeper until he tears me in half.
“Honey, you’re perfect. So. Fucking. Perfect.” His hips punctuate his words. Atlas sounds delirious as he drives into me. The lust and heat are getting to his head. “It’s like I was made for you.”
I bring his face up to mine so I can kiss him. And kiss him. And kiss him. Until we can’t be separated ever again.
And somewhere in the middle of it, something inside me cracks open completely.
Because this doesn’t feel casual anymore.
It feels like love.
The realization terrifies me enough that my chest physically hurts.
“I’m coming. I’m coming,” I gasp against his shoulder.
“Yes, baby. Yes, I’m yours,” Atlas whispers in my ear. “Come for me, honey. Show me how good I feel.”
Maybe it was the edging, the adrenaline from the game, or the constant stress I’ve been under, but I start crying.
Tears seep down my cheeks and onto my neck. Atlas wipes one away with his thumb. “Yes, you’re safe with me. Take whatever you need from me, Damien. I’m yours. I’m yours.”
I knot my fingers in his hair as I pull him in to kiss me. Hot cum sprays between us, Atlas never slowing down to acknowledge it.
Atlas breathes hard against my neck as his hips buck into me. “Oh, yes. Fuck, yes. Mm!”
He makes a small, whiny sound, and I feel him release into me. We both hold onto each other until the pleasure passes.
Atlas pulls me closer afterward, breathing unevenly against my neck while I lie tangled up with him under expensive hotel sheets.
Then, softly, so softly I almost think I imagined it:
“I love you.”
Everything stops. Atlas freezes, like he didn’t mean to say it out loud. But it’s there now. Real.
Hanging between us.
My heart breaks instantly. Not because I don’t feel it back.
Because I do.
God, I do.
I love him so much it scares me. I love the way he remembers my coffee order and holds me after nightmares and smiles at me like I’m worth something. I love the way he makes me feel safe.
And that’s exactly why this hurts. Because people like Atlas don’t stay with people like me once they know everything about our past.
Atlas deserves someone uncomplicated. Someone clean. Not somebody who still wakes up terrified from old memories and flinches every time the phone rings.
I stay silent too long. I know I do. Atlas shifts slightly beside me, panic flickering across his expression for the first time all night. God, it hurts.
So I kiss him before he can take it back.
Slow.
Careful.
Trying to pour every feeling I can’t say into it.
Atlas melts against me immediately, but I still can’t force the words out.
Because loving him feels too dangerous now that I know exactly how much I have to lose.