18. Joey
I”d had to say something. Something that would definitively confirm for my mother that I was never, ever going to be back under her thumb. In that house. Living according to someone else”s wishes and rules.
The words had come out of my mouth without any forethought, fully formed and existing in the world before I could consider what the consequences of uttering them might be.
In the very short term, the consequences were complete and total silence, accompanied by wide-eyed looks, and from my mother, a tiny gasp. As the quiet seconds ticked on, I dragged my eyes to John, unsure quite what I hoped to see in his face but bracing myself for disapproval.
His dark brown eyes were big, fixed on my face with shock. And when I met his gaze, they blinked once, twice, and then I saw a little flicker of warmth light inside them. There it was—the silent reassurance he”d always offered me—even when I”d just uttered the most insane thing he”d ever heard me say.
Before I could think about how to take the words back or fix the brand new disaster I”d just created, Mama was speaking again.
”Well, that is simply unacceptable,” she said. ”Besides the fact that the two of you getting married on the basis of some childhood friendship is ludicrous, let”s take a moment and think about what people will say.”
”Adelaide,” my father murmured, but Mama ignored him.
”No, Franklin. This is insane. These two... children... are from completely different worlds. Well, they might as well be from different galaxies! He”s a sports person, for god”s sake. A Baxter—our one and only daughter, I might add—was not raised to marry a sports person.”
Well that was ridiculous. I pushed down the fury roiling within me at Mama”s clear attempt to mask her disdain for John”s origins by pointing to his occupation instead. ”He”s a hockey player, Mama. In the FHL. The youngest starting goalie in the league,” I told her, my voice finally steady. Though the detritus of the bomb was still scattering, I was comforted by the awareness that John didn”t seem angry. And emboldened by two shots of whiskey. ”He”s incredibly talented.”
”That is beside the point,” Mama huffed. ”I think you”re not really getting married,” she said, landing a bit too close to the truth for my liking. ”I think you”re just saying that to shock me.”
I shook my head. ”Why would it shock you for me to choose my own life partner? To make any choices for myself, actually? Shouldn”t that be what you want for your child?” The words flew from my mouth, dislodged by the whiskey, no doubt. I thought it was probably the first time I”d spoken my whole mind to my mother.
”Darlin”, let”s all just calm down for a minute here,” Daddy suggested.
”No, I don”t think we should,” I told him, swinging my angry gaze his way. ”Did you hear what she just said? As if John is somehow less than we are, as if being raised on the wrong side of Peach Tree Grove or going to a different college or choosing to use his talent to build a career makes him in any way less qualified for anything.”
”Joey, it”s okay,” John said, his warm hand dropping on my arm.
”It”s not,” I whispered. ”It”s never been okay.”
Suddenly, I just wanted my parents to leave and take their snobbery with them. I wanted them to have never shown up here and interrupted the new life I was in the midst of building. Their arrival had ruined everything—had forced something that on its own was so wonderful, so natural.
”I think you should go,” I told them.
”You”re not even wearing a ring,” Mama said. Her voice held an edge of challenge, and I didn”t have it in me to fight any more. I was about to admit that I”d blurted the words, that I”d made it up to shock them, when John spoke.
”It was my mother”s ring, and it didn”t fit quite right. It”s at the jeweler”s to be resized.”
A warm reassurance settled the anxious nerves that had been pinging around within me. John mentioning his mother was like getting a sighting of the Loch Ness Monster. The fact he”d said these words made me want to lean into him, curl into his embrace and just breathe him for a while. But my parents were still here, still shocked, still upset.
”Well,” Mama said. As she sat looking lost and confused, I watched Hank leap to the top of the couch and settle directly behind her. He lifted a paw and licked it, then rubbed it over his face. I knew that routine. Mama was about to get a head massage, and despite everything, I was eager to see it.
”Yes, well.” Daddy stood, extending a hand for my mother, and waving the cat away. I sighed. It was probably for the best. ”Joey darlin”, why don”t we reconvene in the morning? Could we take you kids out to breakfast to congratulate you? Talk about what”s next?”
I stared at him. Breakfast would just be another battleground where my mother could try the next tactic she”d developed to get me to give up and come back home.
John glanced at me, and whatever he saw in my face must”ve confirmed that I was not in a decision-making state of mind. ”That would be nice, sir. There”s a diner over in Boomsmack that makes great waffles and does a really nice Benedict,” he said.
”We”ll go there, then,” Daddy confirmed, helping Mama to her feet. ”Thanks for the whiskey.”
”Any time, sir.”
Mama didn”t say another word, just walked to the front door and waited for my father to open it, then disappeared out into the night, Daddy just behind.
John let the door close quietly and then turned to face me, and I couldn”t read the expression on his face. He had every right to be upset with me for dragging him deeper into my mess. But he didn”t look upset. He looked... happy?
”I”m sorry,” I whispered. ”I don”t know why I said that.”
He shook his head slowly back and forth and stepped close. I leaned into his strong chest out of habit and a need for reassurance, feeling lighter as his arms closed around me.
”I”d be the luckiest guy in the world to be marrying you,” he whispered.
I turned my head to look up into his beautiful face, the one that had been part of my life since I was a little girl. So familiar, so comforting. And now? So sexy. ”You really feel that way?”
He blew out a long breath, his eyes finding something in the distance to look at, like he was gathering strength from that far away spot. Then he looked back down at me with so much love and warmth that my heart actually expanded to be on the receiving end of it. ”I think I”ve been in love with you as long as I”ve known you, Joey. Marrying you isn”t a shocking idea to me. It”s more like a fantasy I”ve had since the first time you beat me in a race.”
His words were the sweetest I”d ever heard, and I tucked them down deep to consider later with the depth they deserved. For now, I smiled up at him. ”Oh yeah? You”ve always wanted to marry someone who could kick your butt?”
He laughed, and touched his forehead to mine. ”Something like that, I guess.”
I slid my arms around his waist, amazed that we could create such a happy little bubble here in the aftermath of my parents showing up and trying to explode everything. Only John could make me feel like everything could still be wonderful and perfect.
”I think I”ve been in love with you a long time too,” I told him, feeling the words forming like a truth just hanging there in the air, waiting for me to acknowledge it.
John pulled his head back and smiled at me, and then his eyes grew darker, and I followed his cues, tilting my chin up for the kiss I needed him to give me.
It was soft at first, maybe in recognition of our shared past, our mutual trauma, and the insanity we”d just survived together. But it grew deeper and hotter as it went on, and John”s hands were on my skin, pulling my shirt from my body as I did the same for him. We made our way down the hall to his bed, and fell onto it together.
I reveled in the attention and intimacy as John removed the rest of my clothing, then stood at the foot of the bed smiling down at me. There was something in his smile I didn”t recognize.
”What?” I whispered, pressing myself up onto my elbows.
”You were going to go to that banquet with me. You wanted to go.” His voice was low and full of wonder, as if he”d just realized this.
”Yes.”
His smile grew wider. ”You said yes when I asked and you wanted to go. It was going to be a date.”
”My parents lied to you, Sammy.” I reached for him, and he took my hand, climbing to lie next to me. ”And it broke my heart. I didn”t believe their story, but I did believe you changed your mind.”
”I haven”t changed my mind in over a decade where you”re concerned,” he said.
As I helped him out of his pants and reveled in the feeling of him at my side, in my arms, filling my senses, a distant part of my mind considered the reality I”d been forced to face tonight. My parents had kept us apart with intention. They”d casually hurt us both in pursuit of their misguided attempts to steer my life in the direction they believed it should go. And it was a miracle we were here now. Together.
John”s warm hands preceded his soft lips over my breasts, my stomach, my thighs. I arched and writhed beneath his attention, certain my body had never been this alive. Everything he did, every part of him, felt custom fit to me, to my body, to my hands.
We made love, feeling the universe contract around us. The entirety of everything narrowed down to a pinpoint for those hours, putting us right at its center, and there simply was nothing else. There was passion and pleasure, every cell in my body coming to life for him. There was just John.
And as the atmosphere thinned once more, spinning back out to include everything and everyone else as we lay twisted together in his bed, I rested my head on his chest and celebrated every heartbeat, matching it to my own. We aligned perfectly. We always had.
”So,” I said, loving the feel of his radiant warmth and strong body beneath my hands, my head.
”So,” he repeated.
”What the heck are we going to tell my parents in the morning?”
A low chuckle escaped him, and I felt it rumble in his chest. ”I have no idea. You tell me.”
I gave my mind a few minutes to spin, to circle all the potential paths until it landed on the one I kept coming back to, over and over. I pulled the blanket back up over us as I moved to John”s side, pressing myself up to rest my head on my hand, my elbow on the bed. John rolled to mirror my posture and we faced one another. A soft thud at the end of the bed signaled Hank”s decision to join in this conversation, and a second later, he dropped himself between our chests with a murmured ”rrrowr.”
”I basically manipulated you into an engagement,” I said.
”I”m not upset about that. But Joey, even if it was a real engagement, I”d be worried. You just ended another engagement. This would be a rebound.” A wrinkle appeared between John’s brows and I saw the doubt cloud his eyes.
”That”s definitely not true.”
He squinted at me for a second. ”Do I need to define rebound for you?”
”I know the definition. And I think if we really look at it technically, Evan was the rebound.” My hand lay between us, and John took it now with his, turning it over and tracing light lines on my palm.
”How was he the rebound? You would have had to be involved with someone before that.” His brows lowered as he said, ”Oh, you were. The first part of college?”
He wasn”t getting it, but there was no rush. We had all night. And maybe longer. ”Before that,” I told him.
”You were with someone in high school?” He pressed his lips together as he thought.
”Not the way I wanted to be, but yeah.”
One eyebrow rose and the smile returned to his lips. ”Is that so?”
”Maybe I didn”t have words for it back then, or the guts to tell you, but I”ve been in love with you for years,” I told him, my heart swelling with the glorious truth of it.
”I”m sure I don”t have to tell you that was mutual,” he murmured, dropping my gaze for a second like he was embarrassed.
”Was?”
The dark eyes found mine again.
”Is.” A little laugh rumbled out of him. ”Joey, baby, I have a feeling I”ll be in love with you for the rest of my life, no matter what happens with your parents tomorrow.”
”What do you want to happen tomorrow?” My heart was rising inside me. Was I really brave enough to suggest what it was hoping for?
”It”s not my call. My cards are on the table. I might be an idiot, but I think we both know I”d do just about anything for you.”
I swallowed hard, wondering if I was really going to be able to give voice to the thing I was thinking, the thing I was hoping for.
”Would you marry me?” I asked, unable to hold his gaze while I threw out the one thing I knew I really wanted. ”Not tomorrow, I mean,” I added quickly. ”But maybe someday?”
John held my gaze for a long moment as the smile on his lips grew into a full-blown grin. And then he rolled from the bed. ”Stay there,” he said.
”Where are you going?” I sat up.
”Just follow directions for once in your life, Joey. Stay there.” John moved to his dresser and began digging in a drawer. He slammed it shut, dug in another drawer.
”This is a weird time to go hunting for your favorite jammies.”
”Quiet, woman, you”re killing the moment.”
”Hmph.” I channeled my mother for that one.
Finally, John found the right drawer and extracted something from the very back of it. He held up a tiny satin bag tied with a little string, and moved to the side of the bed with it. I turned to face him, my chest tightening as he dropped to one knee, opening the little bag as he did so.
”Sammy...” I breathed, the world condensing around us again.
”Joey,” he said, but then a frown crossed his face and a sudden worry leapt into me. He shook his head. ”Josephine Baxter,” he began again, and my chest loosened. ”I have loved you since you saved my life with a bottle of water in the hot Alabama sun on the playground. I”ve loved you every day since then. In little ways and big ones, when you were close, and when you were planning to marry someone else. I”m pretty sure I have never had a choice about being in love with you, so it would be a big relief and the ultimate honor if you”d agree to be my wife and put me out of my misery.”
Sunshine filled every nook and cranny of my body as I smiled back at John, kneeling there naked on the floor of his bedroom. ”You”re proposing for real?” I asked, just wanting to make sure.
”I”m on my knee here, Joey,” he pointed out. ”I have a ring.”
”It”s a naked proposal,” I giggled, so much emotion racing through me I couldn”t quite sort through what things I should feel or say first.
”You want me to get dressed?”
”No. I want to remember this moment exactly like it is.” I scooted to the edge of the bed.
”This is the ring I mentioned earlier.”
He held the beautiful ring out to me now. It was gorgeous—a small solitaire diamond surrounded by a border of smaller stones, set in a silver band. ”This was your mom”s?”
He nodded, reaching for my hand as emotion clogged my throat. ”What do you say?” he asked softly. ”Marry me for real?”
Tears flooded unexpectedly into my eyes as I nodded and heard myself say, ”Of course!” I reached out my hand and he slid the ring on. Despite the story he”d told my parents, it fit me perfectly. And I didn”t say it to him, but this ring looked so much more natural on my hand than the enormous thing Evan had given me. Everything about John fit me so much better.
John”s eyes were full of tears too, and as he reached for me, I threw myself into his arms. We knelt facing one another on his bedroom carpet, in a hug that felt like forever and held a promise of even longer. As I let myself cry—happy tears this time—Hank”s paws found the back of my head.
”This cat,” I laughed into John”s shoulder.
”Hank,” he hissed. ”Beat it. Not now.”
”Rowwr.”
John lifted me to my feet, and we stood beside his bed in an embrace as the world around us went on oblivious to the joy radiating between us. Why had I stayed away so long? Some part of me had always known I belonged with John.
”I”m so happy,” I told him, pulling back to see his face.
”You”re sure?” he asked. ”It”s not too sudden?”
”I think I kinda forced the issue, but no. It feels right. Perfect.”
”It does.”
John spun me back into the bed, and we celebrated together—our first time as an engaged couple.