Chapter 13 #2
Maybe Sam had a point, but turning over a new leaf was one thing. Last night, I’d skipped that step and jumped ahead by like eighty paces. “You promised you would keep me from doing anything stupid! That’s the only reason I agreed to go.”
“You asked me to stop you from picking a fight with the birthday boy, not to stop you from making out with him,” she argued.
To be fair, I’d never considered kissing Sebastian as a possible outcome.
I’d been too worried about offending him on his birthday.
I barely drank a sip of alcohol out of fear that he’d do something to trigger my sass, especially because I’d promised Caroline I’d be nice.
Suddenly the room felt impossible hot. I tossed the blanket off my legs and leapt from the bed. Sam was like a radiator in the morning.
“Was it good?”
I shrugged and leaned against my desk. “He definitely knows what he’s doing.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
“It doesn’t matter how good the kiss was, it’s never going to happen again.”
“Not even after he defended your honor?” she asked with a smirk, pushing herself up onto her elbows in bed.
“Him defending my honor is the problem. It makes no sense. What if—” What if Sebastian is just messing with my head?
I wouldn’t put it past him given our tumultuous past, and I couldn’t forget about the bet.
I knew he wanted to win just as much as I did.
Who was to say this wasn’t part of his strategy?
“It’s pretty simple, Grace. All that tension between the two of you has to go somewhere. Better it be hot sex than murdering each other.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I said, “or maybe this is part of a bigger plan to punish me for everything I’ve done.”
“Punishing you by giving you pleasure?”
No, I thought. The punishment would be making me feel something for him and then pulling the rug out from under me. After all, the reason I’d pushed him in the lake was because I didn’t have the strength to pull myself away.
“Just forget about it,” I said, stretching my arms over my head. “Why can’t we talk about your love life for once? What about that date you went on with the radiologist from work?”
“Apparently he has four kids, and that’s four kids more than I want,” she said dismissively. “All I’m saying is you and Sebastian are bound to collide again. It’s only a matter of time.”
I shook my head dismissively. “I can’t talk about this anymore.” I didn’t even want to think about it. Not when I was drowning in schoolwork and still trying to figure out a way to reconnect with Gabby.
“Are you coming home for Thanksgiving this week?” Sam asked, and I nearly sagged in relief at the change of subject.
“We have an away game the night after, so our coaches decided to host a Ravens Thanksgiving extravaganza. They want us all to bond.”
She snickered at that. “I’m sure Sebastian would love to bo—”
“Absolutely not,” I warned.
“Have you and Gabby talked since your fight?”
Regret tightened my throat at the thought of our argument. I never should have snapped at Gabby, even if she was being a major bitch. It had only served to increase the distance between us, making me feel more helpless in my attempt to fix things.
“No, and I’m really worried,” I admitted. “She won’t talk to me or listen to what I have to say. I know that seeing a therapist would help her, but I’m nervous about how my dad will react to the suggestion.”
He wasn’t a fan of medical professionals, especially those working in the mental health sector.
It was just another piece of fallout from my mother.
Because even after doing everything right—getting her professional help, trying different medications, and admitting her to an in-patient program—she’d still left.
These days, he wouldn't even like going to the doctor for his annual checkup.
“If you want, I’m happy to talk to your dad. It might be helpful to hear things from a nurse’s perspective.”
“No, thanks,” I said, knowing how fragile the situation was. “I’ll talk to him when I’m home for Christmas break in a few weeks. If he won’t listen to me, then I’ll call you in for backup.”
This is going to work, I told myself. It has to.
>> <<
Wednesday was so eager to see the fallout from the weekend that it pressed fast-forward on Monday and Tuesday.
Dread filled my stomach at the thought of our shared practice with the men’s team, and for good reason.
The last time I’d seen Sebastian, he had been plunging into the icy lake.
In other words, today’s training session had a great likelihood of ending disastrously.
Facing him meant facing the fact that we’d kissed, and worse, that I’d liked it.
No amount of self-reflection could help me make sense of that night.
It wasn’t every day you found yourself lusting after someone you loathed.
“Grace, are you listening to me?”
Caroline was waving her hand in front of my face.
“Sorry. I’m a little out of it.”
“Lydia and I are worried about you.” When I shot her a look of confusion, she added, “You’ve been MIA since Sunday. I literally haven’t seen you in two days. You’re almost never home, and if you are, you’re sleeping.”
I wasn’t sure what or exactly how much to say.
Since this weekend, I’d felt entirely off-kilter.
Sam was the only one who knew about my kiss with Sebastian, and I wanted it to stay that way.
What would Caroline think of me if she knew I was locking lips with the devil himself?
Would she judge me? I didn’t want to find out.
“School’s been a lot,” I said, glancing down at my feet so I didn’t have to look her in the eyes.
I didn’t feel great about withholding the full truth of why I’d been so distant, especially given everything she’d done to support my crusade against Sebastian.
“It’s been impossible to keep up with everything. ”
“I totally understand,” she said, tightening the laces on her skates.
“I feel like my professors are trying to punish me for being a well-rounded student.” She continued to chat as we walked through the tunnel and entered the arena.
It took all my strength not to look across the rink in search of Sebastian.
“How are you doing after the party this weekend? The whole Sebastian and Landon thing was so intense.”
“I’m fine.” I recalled a sudden flash of green—Sebastian’s eyes blazing in fury as he clutched the front of Landon’s shirt.
“You disappeared for a while after. I’m sorry I didn’t check on you. I was so drunk, and I could have sworn I saw you and Sebastian down by the lake.” She laughed a little awkwardly at the admission, almost as if she wanted me to confirm the information.
“Yeah, no biggie,” I said, forcing a smile onto my face. “We’ve all been there.”
Caroline seemed to be dissecting my every movement. It felt like I was getting a glimpse into her future as a criminal defense attorney, and I was terrified.
“So,” I said, dragging out the vowel longer than necessary as Lydia sided up beside us. “Are you and Kent a thing?”
Lydia’s lips twitched into a smile as Caroline shot me a baffled look. “I don’t know what gave you that impression,” she said.
For someone so smart, Caroline was clueless when it came to guys. Kent had been flirting with her all night at Sebastian’s party. “Oh, come on, Caroline. You guys bicker like an old married couple. But it’s in an endearing way. Gives off couple vibes, you know?”
“Totally,” Lydia confirmed.
“It’s not like that,” said Caroline. “He just thinks I’m a know-it-all and likes to remind me.”
That was denial if I’d ever heard it.
“He likes to remind you because he likes to talk to you.”
“Seriously, Grace, it’s not like that,” she insisted.
It totally was, but Caroline was being willfully blind because she thought her personality was too much for most men.
I, however, loved that she was unapologetically herself.
Yes, at times she could be a know-it-all, but there were guys out there who liked dominant women.
Kent had this glimmer in his eyes when he spoke to Caroline.
There was definitely interest on his end.
“I’m not taking boy advice from the girl who still talks to her ex,” she snarked, and I instantly regretted our talk about Matt on the drive to the lake house. Caroline had seen us texting and went straight Nancy Drew on my ass. “That’s like the biggest dating no-no.”
She was annoyingly good at changing the subject or turning things around on other people. It made her difficult to argue with in addition to the fact that she was usually right.
“Okay,” I said, holding my hands up. “I’m dropping it.”
Without the immediate distraction of a conversation, I found myself instinctively searching the rink for Sebastian.
I caught sight of his practice jersey just as the whistle blew for warm-ups.
At first, I kept as far away from him as possible, moving to the back of the group as we looped the perimeter.
But once practice was in full swing, I realized there was no point in trying to avoid him because he was already avoiding me.
He barely paid me any notice, even as we were forced to team up for a six-passer shooting drill.
It was a stark contrast to our first shared practice.