Chapter Twenty-Three #2
The one who holds my attention, who steals the breath from my lungs, is Alex.
The furious look in his eyes has my breath hitching and my feet freezing on the spot. I've never seen him this angry. Not even close.
I don't see Carnage anywhere, and a pang of hurt hits me square in the chest with devastating force.
I've tried to deny it.
Tried to act like I don't see or notice the way Carnage looks at me, the softness in his eyes, the tenderness in his touch, the way he says my name like it's something precious.
The truth is, I've seen it all and chose to ignore it because it was easier for me.
Because acknowledging it would mean dealing with it.
And I didn't want to deal with it.
I hurt him tonight.
The realization crashes over me with sickening clarity. I left him alone in that apartment while I fucked Xaden. He's injured and was outnumbered by Xaden's men. And I just... abandoned him.
I should have fought Xaden. Should have resisted. Should have protected Carnage the way he's always protected me.
Instead, I gave in.
Like the weak, selfish coward I am.
“Sit down, Toren.”
Alex's voice is laced with barely controlled outrage, and I don't blame him. Not even a little.
I walk across the room toward the dining table, my legs feeling like they might give out at any moment. But before I can make it there, Tate suddenly appears in front of me like an avenging angel.
I jerk to a stop just in time to avoid colliding with her.
Vivian and Nova are imploring their friend to leave me alone, to not get involved, but I can see from the look in Tate's blazing blue eyes that she isn't backing down.
And neither am I.
“Halo number 2 may not be my favorite out of the guys, but he is my fucking family!” she shouts, her words hitting me like a freight train. “You came to us. Begged for help. And we gave it. You hurt one of mine, and I don't fucking take kindly to that shit, Toren.”
Each word is a lash against my already raw conscience.
“I never meant to hurt him,” I snap back, my voice breaking despite my attempt to sound strong.
“You may not have meant to, but you did!” Her voice rises, sharp and cutting. “You allowed Carnage to fall for you and now we can’t find him!”
Her blue eyes are ablaze with protective fury, and I feel my own anger cresting in response.
“I didn't allow shit!” I scream, and a hush falls over the room like a blanket.
I know I'm the odd man out in this house. Without Carnage standing beside me, I'm completely alone. Outnumbered. Vulnerable.
But I'm not backing down.
“I never meant to hurt anyone!” My voice cracks with emotion. “I didn't want any of this shit! I'm sorry I hurt him, I truly am, but I never lied about my feelings for Xaden.”
The admission hangs in the air like a confession at trial.
“Did you ever tell him there was never a chance for him?” Tate fires back, her voice like a whip.
My shoulders slump as the fight drains out of me.
“I didn't think I had to,” I admit quietly, the words tasting like ash.
She scoffs and shakes her head, disgust written all over her face.
“I may not have been with you the entire time, but Omen told me that Carnage was there for you on nights when you couldn't sleep and cried yourself sick.
When you were throwing up, he held your hair back after you told them the truth about being pregnant.
He's a good man, Toren. And you had no fucking right to hurt him the way you did—”
“And none of you have the fucking right to stand here and question her motives when it's none of your fucking business!”
I whirl around at the sound of his voice and almost weep with relief at the sight of Carnage standing in the entryway, with Harper at his side.
My joy at seeing him—at knowing he's okay—is immediately snuffed out when I take in the panicked look on Harper's face.
Something's wrong.
Something's very, very wrong.
“She hurt you!” Tate snaps, making me cringe.
Carnage shrugs, the movement casual despite the tension radiating from every line of his body. “Since when did you give a shit about me, Tate?”
The question is pointed, sharp.
He doesn't wait for her reply. Instead, he looks directly at Alex. “We need to talk.”
“Is it about how you had your brother come babysit while you ran?” Archer snarks, earning a scornful look from Carnage that could freeze hell.
“Considering my disappearing act might have saved the life of Alex's brother, I doubt I'll have to explain shit to you,” Carnage shoots back, his voice deadly calm.
The room goes completely silent.
“Cas,” I breathe out, the name escaping my lips like a prayer and a curse all at once.
Carnage's gaze shifts to me, and at the sight of me standing there in Xaden's oversized clothes, something in his expression softens. Some of the tension drains from his body, replaced by something that looks dangerously like concern.
“He's safe... for now,” Carnage says, his ominous words settling like a rock in my stomach.
“What do you mean 'for now'?” My voice is barely above a whisper.
Carnage's jaw clenches. “I mean Xaden suspects he has a rat. And he's getting close to figuring out who it is.”
Horror floods through me, ice cold and paralyzing.
“Cas was followed when he left the apartment. He didn’t know he was tailed.
Before the guy could make the call after seeing Cas meet with Fiona, I took care of it,” Carnage says bluntly, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Xaden knew he had rat before you went there tonight, he just needed you to confirm it.”
The room erupts.
But I can barely hear them over the roaring in my ears.
Cas.
“He'll kill him,” I whisper, my voice shaking. “Xaden will kill him.”