Chapter 14
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
ALISA
Fuck. Muscle memory is a bitch. My brothers taught me how to shoot a gun the year I turned thirteen. Hollis joined in when I told them guns scared me and I didn’t understand why I needed to learn. She told me I deserved to know the tools I’d need to grow up to be a badass like her.
The memory feels so real as I hold the gun, I can practically hear her throaty laughter. I have to lower the weapon as tears roll down my face, making it no longer safe for me to use.
“Hey.” Troy squats beside me, his hand cupping my face in concern.
“You look like you saw a ghost,” Easton says uneasily.
“Just remembering something,” I sigh, shaking my head.
“Why do you know how to shoot so well?” Lyle asks.
“My brothers taught me,” I reply, not wanting to lie. It wouldn’t be fair to them.
“People who learn to shoot before the age of fourteen are typically either hunters or mafia,” Dr. Walsh muses, making me wince. “Which were you?”
I knew it was a mistake to mention the age I was taken. Even if I didn’t say it in that context, these men are really fucking smart.
“They didn’t like to talk about things like that with me,” I explain. “My dad did something that wasn’t necessarily legal for work and I think one of my brothers helped him. Memories are odd for me.”
“That’s okay,” Troy says. “They’ll come back when they need to. Want to shoot more holes in these guys?”
“Or we could blow them up,” Easton says, easily shifting with the tide of the conversation. “I have firecrackers that could be fun. You’re getting tired and it’s already been a few hours. It’s up to you.”
Troy checks his watch before he shrugs. “I’m still good on time.”
“Have you ever stabbed a man?” Lyle asks.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I can’t say I have. Why?”
“They’re not going to be able to move very much now that we’ve broken their kneecaps. We can stake them out on the ground so you can carve into them before we make them explode,” Silas says, taking the lead from Lyle.
They do this often, and I wonder how long they’ve been together.
“That sounds really messy,” I say, grinning. “I kind of want to do it but cringe at the clean up.”
“We employ people for clean up,” East says. “We pay them really well too. They won’t mind a mess.”
“See, you all talk like you’re the ones in the mafia. Why are all the questions directed at me?”
“It’s more organized crime for us with some help than mafia,” Silas snorts. “There could be people out there who are looking for you from your old life. If they are mafia, we need to know if that’s going to potentially be an issue or not.”
“We also want to be able to protect you,” East says. “Emotionally or physically, we can’t do that without knowing what we’re up against.”
“I doubt my brothers are looking for me,” I sigh. “It’s been too long.”
“You might be wrong,” Silas mumbles. Moving over to where Max hangs, he pulls the pole out of his asshole roughly before lifting a remote and pushing a button.
“Give a little notice, Si,” Lyle complains, pulling me back as the men who hurt me drop to the ground. Easton and Troy help move them so they’re laying on their backs. Max, Jai, and Dennis groan in pain, making me smile widely. Who am I?
I feel like there are bubbles inside of me and they seem to multiply with each passing moment. Talking about my brothers bums me out slightly, but only because no one waits for a miracle. My brothers didn’t believe in fairytales growing up, and were very practical.
“They probably think I’m dead,” I find myself mumbling.
“What if they don’t?” Lyle asks, his lips pressing against my temple. I’m finding that this is his favorite place. “Would you want to see them?”
“I’m so different now,” I sigh. “They would hate who I am.”
“You can change any part of yourself you don’t like,” he murmurs. “Your actions can be directed by your situation. It doesn’t mean that’s who you are.”
“Says the lawyer.”
“Fuck yeah, so says I,” he growls, making my lips curl up. “Come carve up a body with me, will you?”
“I guess kneeling on the ground isn’t so bad,” I say.
Lyle picks me out of the chair and moves toward the men on the ground.
“Pick one, baby,” he says.
My eyes move up to his instead, and I notice the way they heat as he watches me. My breath catches as I realize how close to me he is and how gorgeous he is.
“I’m going to need to pull your hair up for this. We can’t have blood get in it, can we?” he asks.
He could be asking me something completely different, and I’d still find it sexy. Killing people with this pack is making my insides feel liquid and warm. I don’t want to look too closely at this yet. There’s too much to unpack that I don’t understand about myself.
“That shouldn’t sound as sweet as it does,” I say softly.
“God, I am not sweet, baby,” he grunts, kissing the tip of nose. “Down we go. You’re going to sit in my lap so I can make sure you’re safe the entire time, okay?”
“They can’t hurt me,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Don’t care. I was fine with you being in the chair because it was just far enough for me to be comfortable with this.”
Lyle kneels onto the ground with me in his arms, settling me in his lap.
“Ignore that,” he grunts as his erection digs into my ass and I turn to look at him with wide eyes.
“How am I supposed to ignore that?” I hiss.
“That’s what I tell him too,” Troy says, rolling his eyes. “If I can ignore it, that’s not a good thing.”
“I’m working out my erection with torture,” Lyle says, gathering my hair up. “Turn forward so I can work, Alisa. Silas, do you still have that hair tie around your wrist?”
“No, I was worried I’d get blood on it,” he replies, standing to return to the table. Silas cleans his hands thoroughly with wet wipes before picking up a baby pink scrunchie. “Here it is.”
“Such odd, sweet, alphas,” I murmur, sitting still as Lyle works my hair into a messy bun and ties it up with the scrunchie Silas supplies.
“You still think we’re sweet after this?” East asks, lifting a knife and digging it into Jai’s thigh.
“Yes,” I say easily, enjoying the way the blood flows as Easton works.
“Shall we examine why that is?” Lyle teases me, pressing a knife into my hand.
“Why is psychoanalysis on the table with torture?” I ask, dragging the knife through Dennis’ skin. I find myself carving things he’s done into his body, and my mind doesn’t drift the way it did with other activities.
Hmm. I don’t know what this means, but the blood is fun to watch.
“Why wouldn’t they be?” Lyle asks, watching over my shoulder. “One of your alphas is a lawyer, Alisa. Get used to arguing with me.”
“Ugh,” I groan as Silas hides a smile and East chuckles.
“Welcome to our world,” East says.
“He’s like this all of the time,” Troy admits, going for maximum damage as he carves into Max’s body. He’s careful not to cut any major arteries, but the blood is definitely flowing.
“You’re more focused now,” Lyle notices, watching me.
“I feel more connected when I cut,” I say. “I liked shooting them too, but it pulls up too many memories.”
“Noted,” he says easily. “Were you a good student?”
“Kind of? I was when I was really interested in the subject, but math and I aren’t friends,” I state. “I was much happier climbing trees.”
I used to write in a diary too, but I’m not confessing to that. Sometimes, I’d write about my day, and others I’d start a short story while promising myself to finish it later. It never happened. I guess I have problems finishing things.
“Do you need me to move down his body?” Lyle asks, his breath ruffling the baby hairs at the back of my neck as he silently reads the words I’m writing. The story of my captivity is carved in its own savage beauty on Dennis’ skin.
Raped, starved, kidnapper, drug addict, liar.
“They did drugs around you?” he asks when he sees I still have plenty of room to work with.
“It lengthened the amount of time they could go without breaks while raping me,” I breathe. It feels as if I’m confessing their sins as I write. “Jai and Dennis liked to snort this white powder stuff. I’m guessing it was cocaine?”
“That’s my guess,” Lyle says.
“It made them even more violent,” I sigh. “I have a problem hearing the sound of leather snapping.”
“Good to know. Anything else? Dig harder. Mmhmm. Try twisting the knife. Just like that.”
He doesn’t call me a good girl, but his praise doesn’t bother me the way it did with Dennis, Jai, or Max. They used the phrase to get me to submit, and Lyle hasn’t manipulated me like that.
At least not yet.
“I don’t know,” I say, focused on my task. I’m carving the word violent into the middle of Dennis’ chest, completely ignoring how much pain the alpha laid out must be feeling.
“If we do something you don’t like, please tell us,” Lyle says. “I’d beat the three of them black and blue with my belt, but I’m afraid of losing my temper and scaring you. Plus, I’m enjoying watching you work.”
“We’ve told you we sometimes do bad things for good reasons,” Silas says, getting my attention.
“Mmhmm. I don’t think it makes you bad people,” I say quickly. It’s been a theme they’ve danced around with me today, and I want to make my stance clear.
“That’s exactly what we think about you,” Lyle says, wrapping his arms around me. I’m hanging over Dennis’ body as I work, and my hand is braced on his chest.
However, I keep sliding because of the blood, and it’s tiring me out to hold my body up.
“Relax, I got you,” he says. “You won’t fall.”
“Thank you.”
“It gives me a captive audience while I say this,” he says teasingly.
I can’t help but snort, and Troy chuckles under his breath.
“They’re sneaky, huh?” Troy says.
“Very.”
It feels as if we’re secretly talking about them, even though they’re right here.
“Such adorable little brats,” Silas murmurs. “Our ways have a very high rate of efficacy. Therefore, we will continue to be sneaky.”
“Is it morbid to want to laugh at that?” I ask.
“Meh. I’ve been having a pretty great time watching you blow torch cocks and Silas destroy this guy’s asshole,” Lyle grins against my cheek.