Chapter Seventeen Confusing as Hell
RYLEE
A tiny, furry mallet is bopping me on the nose. Bop, bop, bop, bop. I sniff and let out a puff of breath, trying to blow the little mallet away, but it persists. Bop, bop, bop, bop.
Cracking open my eyes, I find Gizmo sitting beside my head, batting at me with his paw.
“What are you doing, you menace?” I grumble.
He swats at my forehead, harder now that he’s successfully woken me up.
Groaning, I sit up. “Fine! Fine, I’m awake, okay? What’s wrong? Is your food bowl empty?”
I look over to where it’s sitting by the closet and yes, it’s empty.
Ah. Gizmo is not patient when it comes to his food. His water is low too, though whether that’s because he’s been drinking it or just playing with it, I’m not sure. Like a true Gremlin, he goes a little nuts when he gets wet.
That’s why I always have to have a rubber mat beneath his bowls, or risk the floors getting soaked and ruined.
Dragging myself out of bed, I grab his bag of food and pour some into his bowl. He immediately dives at it and starts munching away. Grinning, I scratch his ears before trudging into the bathroom to get ready for the day.
It’s been a busy week of photoshoots and player interviews.
I’m feeling really good about how things are going and the progress I’ve been making on the group feature.
I don’t have anywhere to go today, so I’m going to spend my Friday morning combining all my notes and filling in Juliet on everything I’ve gotten done so far.
I also need to make a schedule for next week for the remaining interviews.
Once I’ve gone through my facial routine and gotten dressed, I make my way down the hall to the kitchen.
I first glance to the living room and find the couch empty.
Zander’s already gone, but when I go into the kitchen, I find hot coffee still in the pot and warm and fresh pastries on a plate on the island.
They’re from a nearby bakery I’ve visited a couple times and might have mentioned off-handedly that I like.
It’s an incredibly thoughtful gesture… and it’s confusing as hell.
In fact, Zander’s been acting strange all week.
He’s ordered dinner for us a few times and makes breakfast for me or leaves me things like these pastries.
Hell, I’ve even sat in the living room with him without immediately bolting for my bedroom.
We haven’t fought, made underhanded comments to each other, or bickered at all.
It’s been nice… but strange.
This new considerate, thoughtful Zander has been making my head a little fuzzy. I’ve been unable to get him out of my mind and I’m becoming more and more comfortable around him.
If this was the Zander I’d met at the wedding, I’d have fallen in love with him back then. Maybe this is the real Zander, though. I always blow up on him, and he gets mad too, so maybe I just haven’t given him a chance to be himself…
But then I think of our night together. He used me, knowing who I was and who my friends were, and just didn’t care. I can’t get past that, even if that Zander doesn’t seem like the man I’m getting to know now. No matter how endearing he might be, I’ll never be able to forget that he did that.
It doesn’t matter. I’m not staying in Denver anyway. Once this job is done, I’m gone.
I should just focus on GlideControlZ.
He actually makes me feel good and I don’t second guess his intentions when we’re talking and hanging out virtually. I can relax and be myself with him. There’s a lot of peace in the anonymity of our connection.
Except, now that I really think about it, he’s been a little off this week too.
He hasn’t been messaging me as frequently.
I mean, he’s not obligated to message me or anything, and I know there’s usually a cooling off period after initial connection.
It’s not like I actually know who the guy really is, and we’re not really in a relationship…
I wouldn’t even consider us friends since we haven’t met face-to-face
I blindly grab a pastry and bite into it as I think more thoroughly about my situation with GlideControlZ. I don’t consider us to be in a relationship… but does he? What does he consider commitment and exclusivity?
I should ask him… I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us.
As I continue eating the pastry - a flaky thing with raspberry jelly inside - I pull up the app on my phone and type out a message.
ClickTease: Hey! We still on for Friday date night?
He responds within moments, which reassures me that he’s not totally cooling off to me.
GlideControlZ: Hell yeah we are!
Smiling, I finish my pastry before asking the question pressing on my mind.
ClickTease: So, random question - what’s your take on dating apps and commitment?
I wait for his reply, chewing my thumbnail nervously. What if he thinks the question is too much and assumes the wrong thing? Part of me wants to clarify, but I stop myself, knowing that will only make it worse. I’ll just seem more desperate.
Finally, a return message comes through.
GlideControlZ: I think we’re becoming really good friends, but I don’t really do any type of commitment before meeting in person. You know how it can be with the internet and anonymity and all.
I chuckle and feel a wave of relief that we’re on the same page. I didn’t realize how much stress this was actually causing me.
ClickTease: I agree, we’re friends, and I’m really glad we’re getting to know each other.
GlideControlZ: However, when I do look you in the eye and stake my claim by calling you mine, all bets are off.
I part my lips in surprise and my cheeks heat. Ooooh, I like
that. Very possessive and dominant in a sexy way.
ClickTease: I’m looking forward to that.
This is good. Safe flirting, no pressure. I can’t even begin to arrange to meet him until I’m back in Nashville.
I tell him I need to get to work, and log out of the app. Grinning, I grab my laptop and set it up on the little desk behind the couch. I’m still not sure what’s going on with Zander, but I’m just not going to think about it. I’m going to focus on work and put him from my mind for as long as I can.
Once my laptop turns on, I go into my email to check for any messages. I have several, but as I scroll through them, my eyes land on a familiar name and I freeze.
Colin Doyle.
Dad.
What the hell does he want?
He hasn’t reached out in months. He used to a couple times a week when he first left the States.
I tried at first, but then he got remarried and it was the nail in the coffin for me.
Mom never said anything, but I know it hurt her.
I wasn’t interested in talking to him after that, so I ignored most of his attempts.
Eventually, he stopped trying so hard and now I might get a message from him twice a year - on Christmas and my birthday.
Never out of the blue like this.
Curiosity gets the better of me and I open the email.
Hello Rylee,
I hope you’re doing well, my girl. It has been so long since I’ve seen you, and I miss you terribly.
I thought I would extend an invitation to spend Christmas with me here in Ireland.
I’m inviting your brother as well, and though I know it’s a bit of a long shot, I’d love to have all my children here for the holiday.
I would pay for your ticket and make all the necessary arrangements, so you wouldn’t need to worry about any of that.
You could come here and enjoy yourself without stress, and we could spend time together.
Let me know if you’d like to take me up on the invitation - I truly hope you do.
I hope I hear from you soon, sweetheart.
Love,
Dad
I stare at the email a moment before letting out a growl of anger and clicking out of it.
Seriously? We’ve hardly spoken in years, and he has a new family now.
Suddenly he wants to pretend he’s my dad?
What the fuck? He hasn’t made that much of an effort to be in my life since he and Mom split and he took off back to Ireland, leaving me and Aiden behind.
Speaking of, does he really think he has a chance in hell of convincing Aiden to go to Ireland for Christmas?
Aiden doesn’t even come home to Nashville!
The only consistent thing the men in my family are capable of is disappointment.
My Dad, my brother… they’ve all fallen short and left Mom and I to clean up the pieces of the lives they shattered.
I’m definitely not going to Ireland - I’m not even going to tell Mom about the invite.
She doesn’t like talking about Dad anyway and always says my relationship with him is my own.
She doesn’t need to have anything to do with it.
Shaking my head, I shove away from the desk and stand to pace. Pain and fury swirl inside me and it’s overwhelming and I hate it. I hate him!
He doesn’t matter. I don’t need to think of him. I just need to focus on work. To help clear my head, I go to my room and grab my journal, flipping to a new page so I can pour my heart out where no one else can see.
Dad really thinks Ireland at Christmas will fix everything? I scribble angrily. Does he think we live in a fucking Hallmark movie? That we’ll spend a little time together and everything will magically be okay? I don’t know why he bothers to keep trying at all. It’s a waste of both our time.
Once I’ve purged myself onto the page, I grab my phone and decide to get my call with Juliet out of the way first. I dial her number and relax back in my chair as it rings. Gizmo comes trotting up to me and hops up onto the desk, plopping down right on the keyboard of my laptop.
“Hey!” I reach up and gently push him off the computer.
At that moment, Juliet answers the phone.
“Rylee! How are you doing?”
“I’m good, Juliet,” I reply, grabbing Gizmo to remove him from the desk completely, and flinching at my overly chipper and cheerful tone of voice. “Just wanted to give you an update on the articles.”
“Yes, great! What do you have?”