Chapter Nineteen Unwelcome Surprise
SUTTON
After what was the most incredible sexual experience of my life, Jayce and I fall into a sort of comfortable rhythm I don’t think either of us anticipated.
Every morning, the sound of the blender wakes me up before my alarm.
I get up, shower, dress, and head out to the kitchen with my laptop.
Every morning, there’s a smoothie waiting on the island right next to my sketchbook.
He never says anything about it. Never makes a fuss and asks for anything in return.
He just sets the smoothie there and goes about the rest of his own routine.
He does little things like that. Makes me smoothies.
Heats up meals for me. Makes sure my favorite snacks are stocked in the cupboards.
I’m not sure how he figured out my weakness for Twinkies, but there’s always a box waiting for me in the cupboard next to the fridge.
He plugs my laptop in for me if I forget to do it so it can charge overnight.
One day, I lost my earbuds, and the next morning they were on the kitchen island with a little note next to them.
Found these stuffed in the couch cushions. Made sure they were charged.
The smallest gestures, but they’re so thoughtful they make my heart race a little.
He’ll go off to practice, and I’ll set up my work space on the kitchen table.
Laptop, notes, sketches, renderings — I completely take over the space and make it my own until he comes home.
He’s usually still sweaty from practice.
I don’t know why he doesn’t shower at the stadium.
Part of me wonders if he’s just that eager to get home to see me, but I tell myself that can’t be the reason.
It’s probably something much simpler, like his own shower is just so much nicer than the ones in the team’s locker room.
Still, he always walks by me on his way to his room with a grin. And he always drops a kiss on top of my head as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“Hello, beautiful fake fiancee,” he’ll say.
“Hello, my charming just-pretend-love,” I’ll reply.
I won’t admit that I love the show of affection, but I perk up every time I hear the front door open, knowing my hello kiss is coming.
I pretend to stay focused on whatever I’m doing, but my pulse picks up the closer his footsteps get.
The anticipation of his hand resting on my shoulder leaves me breathless or when he brushes his fingers along my jaw.
Sometimes he lingers a bit longer than necessary, his lips against my hair, his warm breath fanning over the top of my head.
I imagine him cupping my face and turning me so he can kiss my mouth, his tongue slipping into tangle with mine as his other hand moves down my torso slowly… inch by delicious inch…
He never takes it further, though. Never more than a kiss on the head. But my fantasies get more vivid with each day.
Jayce also continues to surprise me with how perceptive he is.
During one evening together, as he’s watching a hockey game with the volume low, I’m sitting on the large sofa next to him, modeling out ideas on my computer.
We’re both in sweatpants, and while I’m in an oversized hoodie, he’s wearing a white t-shirt that hugs every muscle in his torso.
I have to fight the temptation just to stare at him while drool dribbles out of my mouth.
Instead, I try to focus on my work, though I can occasionally feel his eyes on me, steady and grounding.
My phone suddenly buzzes on the coffee table, startling me.
Jayce glances over at me. “Who’s that?”
I lean forward and grab the phone.
The League of Extraordinary Bitches is calling.
“Oh God,” I chuckle.
“What?” Jayce asks.
“It’s the girls.”
He snorts under his breath. “Good luck with that.”
I swipe to answer, and Grace’s face fills the screen first.
“Sutton!” she squeals.
Before I can respond, three more squares pop onto the screen. Skyler is sprawled across her bed, Rylee is sitting on her couch with a blanket over her lap, and Stacey is in her kitchen, warming up a baby bottle.
“Hello all,” Stacey says. “Don’t mind my greasy hair and eye bags. Sleeping and showering are luxuries these days.”
“You look great,” I assure her. And she does.
“You’re so sweet,” Stacey grins.
“So, I was thinking we should have a girl’s night soon,” Grace says. “We can come to you, Stacey, if you’re not ready to go out yet.”
Stacey’s smile widens. “Really? Wouldn’t that be boring?”
“Not at all!” Grace insists.
“We can bring over dinner,” Rylee says.
“Hell yeah, and dessert too!” Skyler chimes in. “There’s that badass bakery that opened down the block from my place. They have the best goddamn eclairs ever.”
“Yes please!” I exclaim. “Do you guys remember that bakery we’d always go to in college? Molly’s Patisserie?"
“Yessss!” Grace cries.
“Oh, my God, it was so good!” Rylee nods.
“Uhhhh, I dream of their bagels,” Skyler groans.
“I loved that place,” I nod. “Stace, it was this adorable little shop run by a married couple who named it after their daughter. They made these fantastic lemon mini-cakes that just melt in your mouth.”
“Sounds delicious,” Stacey moans.
“It sure does,” Jayce murmurs.
Rylee tenses and squints at the screen. “Hey, Sutt, are you alone?”
I freeze and Jayce intentionally bumps me with his elbow.
Skyler’s eyes widen dramatically.
“Oh my God,” she gasps. “Jayce is there! They’re snuggling on the couch together!”
Grace lunges toward her camera. “Put him on!”
“No,” I reply immediately.
Jayce snorts beside me.
“Jayce!” Rylee calls out. “What are you doing? Are you canoodling with my girl?”
“He can hear you,” I sigh. “You don’t need to shout.”
“Well then get him over here!” she insists.
Before I can say anything else, Jayce slides himself in front of the screen, resting his chin on my shoulder. I roll my eyes, but he just grins.
Skyler points at the screen. “We see that smug smile, Vaughn!”
“Evening,” he drawls, his deep voice so sexy it makes me shiver.
I pull the phone back toward me and press a hand to the side of his face to push him away.
“Okay, that’s enough,” I snap, cheeks burning
Skyler fans herself. “My, my… casual Jayce is quite the sight.”
“He’s literally just sitting there,” I mumble.
“That shirt should be illegal,” Rylee adds with a waggle of her brows.
Jayce laughs beside me, clearly enjoying every second of this.
Skyler grins at the screen. “Sutton, blink twice if your panties are melting and you need a new pair.”
My eyes go wide, mortification rushing through me.
“I hate all of you,” I declare. “Go ogle your own men. I’ve got work to do. Buh bye!”
“Boooooo,” Rylee replies.
“Party pooper!” Skyler whines.
Grace just laughs. “All right, talk to you later!”
“Good luck with work!” Stacey adds with a wink.
I quickly hang up the call, shaking my head. Jayce laughs again but doesn’t say anything. Desperate for a distraction, I dive back into work, and I’m actually able to focus in for several minutes.
Then, I hit a sudden snag with my model.
“Oh, shit,” I murmur, furrowing my brow. “Why isn’t this working?”
I try another calculation, and it’s still off. Again and again I put in new measurements and functions, but I can’t make it work out. My thoughts start to spiral. Anxiety sets in and all the bad thoughts I fight so hard to keep at bay on the daily start pushing through.
You can’t pull this off.
You’re going to screw this whole project up.
Your parents are right, you can’t do this on your own.
I tug at my fingernails, panicking. Suddenly, Jayce taps the couch cushion between us with his finger, yanking me out of my black hole of doom. Blinking, I look up and meet his gaze. His expression is calm. His stare is steady.
“Eyes on me, Starling,” he orders. “Breathe. In… out.”
He’s done this before. Noticed me losing it and pulled me back to reality.
I do as he says, breathing deeply and following his lead.
Sooner than I would’ve expected, I calm down.
I don’t know how, but it works every single time.
He just knows how to get me out of my head and quiet the negative thoughts swirling inside it.
Maybe that’s why I was so willing to surrender to him. He makes me feel safe. Comfortable in my own skin. Giving myself to him just felt so natural. So right. It’s hard to explain fully, but something in me just yearned for the peace I knew he’d give me.
Once he’s sure I’m good, he goes back to watching his game, letting me get back to my work.
I feel at ease. Peaceful. Jayce is such a steady force for me, I don’t have to worry about losing my footing and floating off into the abyss.
I’m not even feeling anxious about how quiet my family’s been.
I haven’t really heard from Mom or Dad since I told them about my engagement, but I’m not fretting about it, which is kind of refreshing.
This night — like so many of our nights together — is so quiet and peaceful.
I’ve never really had that before. Relaxing evenings just aren’t really a thing with my family — it’s either work, networking, or pressure about marriage.
There’s no taking the mask down. If anything, I feel like I have to be charged at 100 percent anytime I’m around them.
But with Jayce, I don’t feel as if I have to be performative with my time.
I don’t have to maintain a perfect appearance or stay tuned to what my parents are doing so I don’t say the wrong thing or act the wrong way.
After a little while longer, I close my laptop and stretch my arms over my head.
“I’m going to bed,” I say, standing.
Jayce looks up at me and asks, “Do you need anything before you go? I can whip up a mean chamomile tea.”
I grin at the offer, but shake my head. “No, I’m good. Thank you, though. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Sleep tight.”